Many readers e-mailed about how a bear killed and ate a monkey. Apparently the monkey stared at the bear with its dumb monkey face and the bear couldn’t help but maul him. I am fully in support of this. Bears should be trained to kill and dispose of monkeys. There are many bears in America, and they can help eliminate monkey menaces hiding in forests. In the future, if you think you see a monkey, just alert your local bear. Only you and bears can prevent monkeys.
Can’t we use them to clean house in DC? Sure, bears eating monkey-faced liberals would make for a gruesome news story, but it’s hard to cover a story when you’re being eaten by a bear.
Awesome. I also wrote about this here-
http://tinyurl.com/n47zz
“You got bloody monkey on my bear! You got bear on my bloody monkey!”
I think its a hate crime.
there was no verification in the story that the late monkey was, indeed, a “but” monkey. gratefully, previous comments have avodinded the forebearance to decry what could be the beginning of a spate of bear on monkey crimes. not that I want to ape the concerns of others. signed a grease monkey from tampa
I’m sure the other liberal monkeys refused to condemn the bear’s actions, asking that we understand that the bear came from a broken home, was bullied when he was a cub, etc.
I suspect Islam. They like to call us infidels as being the offspring of apes, so the bear decided to go straight to the source. True, monkeys and apes are not the same thing, but do you really expect a dark-ages death cultist to know that?
The problem of bears being converted to Islam in zoos must be addressed!
Obviously, it’s Bush’s fault!
The monkey obviously reminded the bear of either Pelosi or Kennedy and the bear finally snapped! Being a member of the less “civilized” has it’s advantages…
So does the bear get “life without the possibility” or do they send him to “Ole Sparky”…
Frank,
You really need to deal with your phobia. Monkeys are excellent. You can fry them, BBQ them, and even chill their brains and eat them for desert. You’re really missing out on the good stuff.
Don’t take my word for it. Three Dutch bears can’t be wrong.
Is there any truth to the rumor that the monkey was named “Goldie Locks”?
We have an immigration problem here, work that americans won’t do (eating monkeys). I say we need a Guest Bear Program, to include granting citizenship to illegle bears, but only if they can prove they have been in the country, and actively eating monkeys for several years.
I read recently that Cheetah from the Tarzan films was still alive.Must look like fuzzy chimp jerky.Uuuunnnnnngggggghhhh, chimp jerky.
Time to for an Abused Simian Sub Committee- other wise known affectionately as the ASS Committee in Congress and apply for federal grant money. ASS could combine with the Sierra club and or PETA and Planned Parenthood to offer abortions and contraception advice to the barbaric bears, among othe services. If this does not help then they could enroll the bears in sensitivity training in hopes of enlightening their minds and changing their hearts concerning our Simian brothers. Education is key.
Efforting must take place.