Liberals all have dumb monkey faces I want to punch.
Look at this liberal:
What an ugly monkey face! My fist is curling just looking at it.
And look at this guy:
If that’s not a dumb monkey face, then nothing is! I so need to punch something after seeing these dumb monkey-faced liberals!
There, I punched my desk.
So, all liberals have dumb monkey faces and I hate them.
Archive of entries posted on 5th May 2006
Dinocats
In the SarahK / Frank J. rainforest known as the Master Bathroom, the keen observer can spot two rare creatures, which only emerge from their Guest Room lair and take residence atop the Cliffs of Insanity in the Master Bathroom when their lone predator, the Pitabullus, seeks its prey. I have captured these creatures in digital form for your viewing pleasure.
Ask Dr. Duck – HOSTED BY FRANK J.!!!
RightWingDuck is having trouble logging in, so I’m putting up this post for him. That’s means I get all the credit – Me! Frank J.! You love me now!
So here’s the stupid post…
**
Dr. Duck has the answers that can make you wiser. Or at least older. 4 minutes older if you’re an average reader.
But enough about that. The IMAO readers recently posted questions asking advice from me, Dr. Duck. Given my plethora of knowledge, I thought it would be fair to help out as many people as I could.
**
Could Everyone Stop Whining About Gas Prices?
Because it’s really starting to annoy me. I mean, first off, I don’t care. Second, no one has any actual plan to do anything about it (Congress can control gas prices about as much as they can the weather – unless they take away federal taxation on gas). Thirdly… well, I don’t have a third reason. I don’t need one. Just shut up about this before I punch you in gonads.
IMAO – More Brilliantly Conceived Than You Thought
Remember that post at Digby where he freaked out over the Fun Facts About Liberals T-shirt?
Buried deep in the comments is an intriguing analyis of the IMAO motif:
“the site reads like a really broad left-wing parody of a right-wing humor site. In that respect, it’s pretty funny”
I have to admt that I’ve occasionally thought while reading an In My World: “Man, the liberals mush LOVE the way Frank portrays Bush… Hey… I wonder if Frank is really an undercover Bush-hating leftist?”
Fear not, though. Frank is NOT Michael Moore wearing a Karl Rove mask. The truth is FAR more twisted.
You see, IMAO is actually a right-wing satire of a really broad left-wing parody of a right-wing humor site.
Which means that Frank is Donald Rumsfeld dressed as Michael Moore wearing a Karl Rove mask.
All pretending to be a nerdy engineer from Florida married to a hot babe from Texas.
Truly Machiavellian.
Gun vs. Tire Iron
An undercover police sting turned into an officer-involved shooting in the Houston Police Department’s impound lot, officials told KPRC Local 2.
HPD’s auto theft division set up undercover surveillance at the lot located on Dart at Houston Avenue near downtown Houston because there have been a lot of car burglaries recently.
At about 12:30 a.m. Thursday, the thief tried to strike again, police said. He was found hiding in a trailer on the lot, according to authorities.
“Another uniformed officer approached that trailer, opened it and the individual who was inside aggressively rushed at the officer with a tire iron in his hand,” said Sgt. David Crain with the Houston Police Department.
The officer, a 28-year veteran of the force, shot the suspect several times, fearing for his life, police said.
Keep an eye on IMAO for futher “Gun vs.” updates.
Unfair, Unbalanced, and Unmedicated: Vote Rigging
In this new segment, Frank J. will try to out crazy Kos using rhetoric and ideas that will only harm Republicans and conservative causes. This first installment is just a warm up.
The Republicans are about to lose the House, and it’s only smart people like us who can make sure that conservative values succeed. We have a problem in America, and it’s time we only support candidates willing to face it. That problem is…
Continue reading ‘Unfair, Unbalanced, and Unmedicated: Vote Rigging’ »
Cinco De Meow Meow Catblogging
Since it’s Friday, I thought I’d spread the joy of humor-free, apolitical Friday Catblogging to IMAO (aka “I-MEOW”).
But instead of the usual Friday Catblogging, I realize that it’s also Cinco De Mayo. So… it’s time for Cinco De Meow Meow Blogging
Sure, some of the IMAO bloggers have cats, but apparently I’m the only one of them brilliant enough to combine cats and blogging without chopped onions, peppers, salt, pepper, and in an oven set at 350 degrees for thirty minutes.
Anyway, it’s time for Frisky the Tipsy:
If you’re not sure how this absurd scene pertains to IMAO, since IMAO is famous for that “political humor” thing, it doesn’t. If you must have some semblance of politics or humor in everything you read here, just assume that Frisky is… um…
Help me out here. Make your suggestions in the comments how this scene is, in fact, a political allegory.
(For more animal goodness, try Friday Ark today and Carnival of the Cats Sunday, so send your catblogging links to submissions @ carnivalofthecats.com.)
Crazy Like a Kos
First Kos vows to strike down any Democrat who didn’t find Stephen Colbert funny, and now he refers to a Democrat who is challenging Joe Lieberman in the primaries and trailing 31 to 51 in the polls as “in striking distance.”
THIS GUY IS FREAKING NUTS!!!
I guess the Dems must be happy that Kos is applying his perfect zero batting record to trying to bring down Democrats, but when is someone going to get Kos needed medical help?
And how does Kos get so many hits a day for his site? Is it his third-grade political analysis or that his site is like MySpaces for the moonbats whose mental healthcare facilities allow internet access?
I think a good goal for IMAO is to surpass Kos in traffic. I know that, if I apply myself, I can be even crazier than he is. It will take some work, but I am not adverse to hard work… despite what my parents might say. So prepare yourself for a new Frank J. even crazier than before!
After a few more cups of coffee…