I should get to writing another newsletter soon. Operation Chicken Little didn’t seem to be a big success, so what kind of secret and cool stuff do you want in the newsletter?
Also, I’ll put out some new shirt designs soon. I’ll probably do more slogan shirts. One reader suggested: “The only way to stop fascism is through an informed populace and well-armed United States Marines… but mainly just the Marines.” That comes from one of my famous letters to the Limey. If there’s some other thing I wrote you think is shirt worthy, make sure to mention it. I’ll probably also make a shirt to warn liberals that you will punch them in their dumb monkey faces.
In other shirt news, the 101st Fighting Keyboardist shirt should be coming soon.
Anyway, continue to buy stuff so I get money.
yeh, well, subscribing to the newsletter didn’t exactly work out for me.
There was an old In My World about God or an Archangel having a press conference…and he said something like “I have infinate patience, but the Iraqi’s need to be more worried about the Americans at the moment…” Or something like that…maybe I’m just making it up, and maybe there isn’t a good shirt quote there, but I’d still like to find the old post anyway…I seem to have lost it.
Ben,
That’s why I have Google search for the site.
Here’s the post: http://www.imao.us/archives/000464.html
“Many say Saddam is quite an evil person. Can we expect some sort of unilateral action from the Almighty?”
“No, I wouldn’t expect that. It’s not God’s place to constantly seek out violent retribution, as He has infinite mercy. In this world, Saddam has much more to fear from the Americans who, despite their best intentions, are not quite so infinite in their mercy.”
Ben,
You mean this IMW? It’s the last two paragraphs.
“Many say Saddam is quite an evil person. Can we expect some sort of unilateral action from the Almighty?”
“No, I wouldn’t expect that. It’s not God’s place to constantly seek out violent retribution, as He has infinite mercy. In this world, Saddam has much more to fear from the Americans who, despite their best intentions, are not quite so infinite in their mercy.”
Aww, Frank J. beat me to it! shakes fist at Frank J.
Here’s another accurate* drawing of a dumb liberal monkey for those who don’t know who to punch in the face.
stupid liberal monkey face: punch these people often
*by accurate I mean this is what I imagine them looking like. I have more important things to do with my time than talk to liberals.
There was a Rumsfeld line in one of the In My Worlds that just killed me: “The children of tommorow will sing sad songs about those who oppose us today”.
Rick,
Am I the only one who uses my Google search?
http://www.imao.us/archives/000518.html
“Let me be clear: the U.N. is dead to me, and, if I have my way, it will soon be dead to everyone. That said, anyone who vetoes something the U.S. supports vetoes their own life. The children of tomorrow will sing many sad songs about those who oppose us today.”
I might be able to do something with that…
I want secret and cool stuff like what IMAO stands for.
And not “in my arrogant opinion” or “International Monkey Assasination Organization,” either. Those can’t be real, because they’ve been allowed to be mention as possibilities.
Sorry Frank, I’m at work and had to type that post furtively.
“I’m getting tired of killing these Muslim extremists,” Buck the Marine said, “Can we get to killing some Communists soon?”
…Rumsfeld replied patiently, “but you go to war with the enemy you have, not the enemy you might want or wish to have….
The commies are on the rise. Buck might get his wish pretty soon.
Google and search for this post for me:
http://www.imao.us/docs/Biases.htm
One of the funniest things I have ever read is on that page. If you made a shirt with the quote below on the back and maybe a small IMAO logo on the front I would order one a.s.a.p.
quote: “I would like to say I know a number of atheists who are good, moral people even without a belief in God and I don’t think they’re going to hell or anything. God thinks they’re going to hell, though, and His opinion counts more.”
Ohgreat I am glad!Gosh I have a lot of your shirts. hahahaha But they are sooooo good so what the heck.
Thanks!
Thanks Frank J., and thanks Silver Bubble…I guess I’m just incompetant. I was using the google search for a while, but I couldn’t come up with the right post. I kept getting the press conference from the demon-series.
Oh well…my incompetance might be explained by my looking for it at 3:00 in the morning, while taking a break at about the 15’th page of a 20 page paper due the next morning, but only lib’rals make excuses like that.
Thanks for pointing me in the right direction…
And, the quote is probably too long to fit on a shirt anyway…too bad.
Sigh……I miss the Limey.
try this
” So there’s the choice: either be a homicidal maniac thus ensuring peace and love in the world, or be some pacifist hippy while the streets flow with the blood of the innocent.”
how could you miss that marketing appeal?!
ooh! or something about how michael moore being fat… or stupid… or not bathing… etc
btw, it was cannabis freedom day on sunday. I would think that at least lair would have something
Okay.
I tried to buy the shirts. I really, really tried. Honest. But when I go to the site, I can’t read the graphics. They need to be bigger and clearer. I know they’ll be great on the actual shirt, but I’m one of those people who actually likes to see the design before I buy it.
I truly hope this helps. Because I want you and the rest of the IMAO-ers to make tons of money. I never want your site to go offline due to lack of funds.
I think you need to feature the new canine on something. Perhaps a separated at birth with Rowdie and Helen Thomas? No scratch that idea. That would just be plain mean. To Rowdie.
Maybe just Rowdie. The new IMAO mascot. On a black shirt.
CONTRIBUTING FACTORS TO RIGHT-WING HOSTILITY
* We were able to steal two Presidential election, but unable to rig Presidential approval polls.
* Our neo-nazi tendencies push us to anti-Semitism, but we’re also working on Zionist conspiracies to fight wars solely to benefit Israel. (love that one – it’s a gem. Maybe replace “neo-nazi” with “Fascist”).
* We got Halliburton the illegal wars it wanted, but it’s yet to deliver on the cheap oil.
And maybe something about the embarrasment of being called the “lesser” of two evils?
Free for your use: (feel free to run them as a countdown, or even to actually search your comments and use real ones instead of these, which I just made up)
Top Ten “Shirt-Worthy” IMAO comments:
1. First!
2. So when faced with a hippy and a monkey and a ninja, which do I shoot first?
3. I lust after your T-shirt model.
4. So who’s up for pizza, after we NUKE THE MOON(tm)!
5. Given a choice between a .45 and a …, well, nevermind, I’ll take the .45, thanks!
6. Is the Limey real, or did you eat some old nachos last night and make him up while being sick near your keyboard?
7. In a fight between Dick Cheney and Chuck Norris, would any of the rest of us survive?
8. Rumsfeld and Chomps rule! And they kill people, too!
9. Fascists, communists, jihadis, children, they all bleed the same when Buck the Marine sticks ’em with his K-Bar.
10. I could tell you what IMAO stands for, but then I’d have to kill you, and shortly thereafter I’d become a victim of the Beltway Strangler, myself.
OK, I checked it, and the above “Top Ten IMAO Comments” is actually funnier if read as a countdown from 10 to 1. And because it is at least a bit funny as a made-up list, may I suggest one of you highly-paid and/or highly-threatened and or highly-high blog flunkies get to work and review some actual comment logs to pick 10 real comments that are actually funny, then put them on a shirt? Those shirts don’t write themselves, you know. Oh, I want a free shirt for my idea. Even though I used a fake email address. And even though you can’t send shirts by email alone.
Those comments are okay, but anything with stick figures and diagrams are REALLY cool. Moonbunny has been wearing her “hate-filled lefty” t-shirt every day during gym class and still got “Student of the Week”…but now she’s kinda stinky too.