Steve Martin’s classic “Hostages” routine:
I finally got something that I wanted, something that I didn’t have. I saw on TV people having these things, and so many people had them and I thought, Ã…ehey, IÃ…fd like to take some hostages too! So i took some, stuck them in a sack and now they’fre out on the flagpole, and IÃ…’m going to blow them up at midnight.
Unless, if I get my three demands:
A hundred thousand dollars in cash.
A getaway car.
The letterÃ… M stricken from the English language.
See, the trick to getting what you want is to have two realistic demands, and then one crazy, impossible one thatÃ…fd never ever work in a million years. That way, if you get caught, you can plead insanity.
The letter “X” soon may be banned in Saudi Arabia because it resembles the mother of all banned religious symbols in the oil kingdom: the cross.
Here’s the 64,000 Riyal question: How exactly do you cross out an X? It’s not like you can just X it out, because you end up with an even bigger X.
Or as my friend Uncle Guido says, “In Riyadh, they play Tic Tac Toe with real toes.”
I thought being a muslim automatically made one insane. Am I incorrect in my hypothesis?
How about “cross”-streets, huh? Ban all maps too? At least there’s no problem with women drivers…
Seem’s like a moot point to me. I can’t say that I’ve seen the use of that letter in many translations of Arabish.
On the other hand, that’s going to put the kibosh on all of my “Merry X-mas” cards to the royal family during the holidays. And how in the hell are they going to market video rentals for ‘The X-Men’, ‘The X Files’, and ‘American History X’?
Not to mention, “Malcolm X”.
WOOHOO! I was hoping someone would say that! The obvious conflict of interests there is going to be fun to read about.
So… “x” is to be banned but “t” is ok ? Wacky Muslims.
The muslim world has always been a bit sideways, so the letter t actually looks less conspicuously like a cross. Keep that under your hat or the hajis might ban that too.
When the letter “x” is outlawed only outlaws will have the letter “X.” And mathematicians.
Have an Evil day.
Is this possibly because “x” also stands for love, especially at the end of a letter? We can see how much love there is in the muslim world…oh, I’m sorry…according to the libs, muslims blow stuff up to show their love.
Alan, all I have to say is…
GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!!!
…and modesty is for wusses.
Doesn’t the “t” look a LOT more like the cross than the “x?” Goddamn, the Saudis are stupid.
Nuke Mecca and they’ll be X-tinct.
I once went to a lecture where a prominent professor, while liking arabs and being very sympathetic to them, noted their mental plight at length. They are taught to memorize the Koran, so they have excellent memorization skills. However, they cannot analyze anything in detail requiring forming an idea as to why things happen because “It’s the will of Allah and you can’t question it” is the answer to everything. So they have to import scientists, engineers, doctors, mechanics, et al from non-muslim nations. This doesn’t do the “we are superior to everyone else and everyone else knows it” precept of their culture much good, since they are completely dependent on the outside world to run and maintain their technology. Little wonder they want to go back to the 13th century. They could pretend they were right then.
Outlawing “X” in the land that supposedly invented Algebra. How retrograde can you get?
I was recently solicited to make $100-120 K tax free in Saudi Arabia for a year. I didn’t consider it for a second.
The Top Ten Problems Arising from the Elimination of “X”
10. Saudis couldn’t use Roman Numerals. They would miss the Super Bowl most years.
9. They couldn’t do simple algebra.
8. More advanced Saudis couldn’t do vector math either. (No cross product function.)
7. They couldn’t ride the roller coaster at Six Flags.
6. An illerate Saudi couldn’t endorse a check.
5. They couldn’t trade U.S. Steel stock.
4. They couldn’t watch dirty movies.
3. They couldn’t play tic-tac-toe.
2. Their doctors couldn’t use X-rays.
And… Number 1!
1. Arab pirates wouldn’t be able to use a treasure map.
Fine. I’ll show them.
I’m going to stop using the letter “C” bekause it resembles the islamik moon kressent. I’ll kompensate by using the letters “k” and “s” if I have to.
See how they feel about that!
Here’s a thought; Rename the Democrat party as “Party X”. Surely the islamofacists will feel the need to eliminate them.
So I assume the + sign will be banned from math as well. And I shouldn’t use ‘*’ because the asterisk on my computer has six points and that may be a little too much like the Star of David.
Ironically, the service “Explorer” that started this mess will be renamed “Pope” to avoid using any letters that look like a Christian Symbol
Kent,
Pretty much all claims of technical and mathematic theorem originating from the Arab world are erroneous. They were actually pioneered by the people of India and Asia, and then passed along by Arab Traders. So, they really don’t even have that to hang their turbans on.
Pretty much all claims of technical and mathematic theorem originating from the Arab world are erroneous. They were actually pioneered by the people of India and Asia, and then passed along by Arab Traders. So, they really don’t even have that to hang their turbans on.
And what they didn’t grab from them, they grabbed from the Greeks via conquering, I mean, adopting the Byzantines.
Yup Yup. So even the so-called “Golden Age of Islam” was really just claiming credit or the work of others.