The stimulus plan is awesome and it’s totally going to work!
I know a lot of you are skeptical about the stimulus plan and think it’s just a big pork bill, but I actually sat down and read it and it is pure genius. There is nothing in there that isn’t part of the plan to give America an indestructible, superman economy capable of taking on anything. If you’re wondering why so many Republicans voted against, it just must be because they never got a chance to read it because it is magical. It’s like a leprechaun riding a unicorn wrote it. When you read it, butterflies just appear all around you; that’s how magical it is. You have never seen a more finely crafted bill. You just read a few lines from it and you’ll want to go buy a bigger wallet for all the money you’re going to have when it improves the economy.
Everyone who worked on this bill must be like geniuses of the highest order. I want to buy them all presents as thanks. I don’t know their interests, so I think I’ll buy them those shiatsu massage seat covers because those seem like a good general present. I hope they like them. Then I need to go buy a bigger house because when this stimulus kicks in I’ll need the room for all the money I’m going to have. If you don’t believe me, go read the bill. You will be so excited you will pee yourself. Maybe even pee others.
Ooh! I can’t wait for the stimulus! It’s like Christmas times a birthday times going to Disney World! I’m going to go read it again!
It’s an amazing, historic bill that will change the world in magical ways…however, they’d prefer no one read it. Probably because mere mortals are way too stupid to comprehend the massive intelligence in the brain trust of Obama, Pelosi and Reid. To most American citizens, they just come off as miserable, retarded, old, hippie communists. Silly Americans. Now Pakistan, that’s a smart country.
Frank, could you at least warn us when you’re going to train for the “Fairness” Doctrine?
How did IMAO get government funding? I totally missed the “Cash for bloggers to save the children and create millions of new high-paying jobs” clause.
I hate to rain on your cash parade, but….
European Meltdown?
(telegraph.co.uk)
Now, where did I put my lock box?
Another reason to love it: http://reason.com/blog/show/131664.html
FRANK! FRANK! Wake up, you are babbling in your sleep again!
innominatus reads Jimmy’s link, puts fingers in ears, chants “LA LA LA LA LA LA” loudly and goes back to reading Frank’s more upbeat and much more realistic financial summary.
“I” am gonna make a killing on this stimulus.
Then again, I’ve had a recession aggressive portfolio for over a year now.
It’s harder now, and I’m betting against my own country, but damn it, I like the freedom of being able to afford girl scout cookies.
I wonder how many people searching for jobs for 3 straight months went to their local Military Recruiter?
Pelosi’s Obama bucks*: Frank’s right, you gotta love ’em, innominatus. And Frank’s got ’em, too, along with his brand new, Pelosi GTxi SS/RT Sport Edition from Congressional Motors (thanks to Iowahawk).
But, there’s just one little, itsy bitsy, tiny weeny hurdle we gotta get across: the INTERNATIONAL banking crisis.
(* or is it Obama’s Pelosi bucks?)
Crisis there is NO crisis. Nothing to see here folks, go on, go about your business……..
This is what you get when you elect socialists. Pie in the sky that stays there long enough to get them elected and then …….WHAM, PLOOP, SPLAT…..the sky really does start falling. Hope there aren’t any blueberries in them there pies, they stain.
Robin: Holy Meltdown Batman, we may have actually go out and get real jobs
Batman: No Robin, our stimulus check should be here shortly and then we’ll be off to the races again.
Robin: I thought you weren’t going to bet on horse anymore.
Batman: Horses, Congress it’s all just a crap shoot.
>>>Pelosi’s Obama bucks*
Pelosi’s Obamabucks. Obama’s Pelosibucks. Yeah, I think they’re pretty interchangable.
Unfortunately for me, they both conjure mental images of the “bucks” in more of a “rodeo” sense. I’ve got a picture of a wearin’-hat-n-spurs-n-not-much-else Pelosi tryin’ to ride Obama for 8 seconds…Ick…
Since China owns so much of our debt maybe the new currency will be Mongolian Clusterbucks.
“I’ve got a picture of a wearin’-hat-n-spurs-n-not-much-else Pelosi tryin’ to ride Obama for 8 seconds…Ick…”
Hehe.
Or the other way around, inno: Obama ridin’ the Pelosi saddle. Mega-Ick. And a new definition of “soul mates” could be lurking in there somewhere.
Step away from the koolaid
Not one of you appears able to comprehend that this stimulus package is going to create jobs and save several states from going bankrupt. Maybe your state can go on without firefighters, police and teachers, but most states can’t. As long as you continue to gripe about a stimulus package that was absolutely essential to protect millions of Americans from economic disaster, you’ll just continue to demonstrate that the GOP is doesn’t give a tinker’s damn about anything but its own political survival. It is remarkable that those who supported the political party that built our recent economic expansion on a foundation of sand over the last 8 years are now whining about a solution that will help pull this country out of its vertical nose-dive. These ideological windbags are also contradicting several Nobel Prize-winning economists who not only supported the package, but think it should have been even larger. If you make $100,000/year, a tax cut might net you a couple of hundred dollars extra per month. If you don’t have a job, or you’re about to lose your job, a tax cut wouldn’t do a damn thing for you. If you’re a corporate executive, you all for the big tax breaks because they’ll just end up in your bonus. The grotesquely naive suggestion that corporations would have used their tax savings to hire more people and provide better health care coverage for employees flies in the face of recent history. You sit back, watching the country’s infrastructure and school systems crumble, while calling a stimulus package that creates jobs, lowers taxes and rebuilds our infrastructure “pork”. And, of course, anybody who supports such a bill has to be a “socialist” or a “Marxist”. That is about as unAmerican as you can get.
that stuff those reps and senators were taking in the sixties really ate those braincells. And now I fear they have spiked Franks koolaid
We’re going to have to import more illegal aliens to do the work for all us Ricky Riches. My god Obama crapz rainbows made of Yellow moons, pink clovers, green onions, blue stars and double orange Osley microdots (best LSD of the late 60’s). Tell the Lucky Charms Leprauchan that he’s out of job. It just feels too good getting menthol cigarette smoke with a twink of Miller GD40 and waffles so soniferously blown up our bundas.
I’m going to go read it again!
YOu must have a lot of time on your hands…. that or you ordered the Evelyn Wood speed reading course.
Anything that costs a Billion Dollars a page HAS to be good!
Good thing Obama signed it today,
or the collapse would have happened.
Thank you Frank! I have never read a more elegant and appropriate homage to the stimulose. If I could just tear myself away from smelling these unicorn farts, and break my focus on the taxandspend rainbows coming out of its rear, I could properly praise you.
WHERE IS ALL THIS MONEY COMING FROM???????
Has it been sitting in a Federal account somewhere and they just decided to spend it. If it has to be paid back, who is doing the paying?????
Nobody has answered these questions yet.
I despise the methods of libtard politicians, and their koolaid drinking constituencies, who intentionally manipulate the electorate by threatening to cut essential services. It’s hogwash.
There are plenty of paper-pushing bureaucrats, social workers, administrative personnel and others whose jobs are not essential that could be cut before policemen and firefighters.
Besides the Low-Life Wing of the Democratic Party (convicts, ex-convicts, drug dealers, pedophiles, illegal aliens, radical activists, gang members, ACLU lawyers, and all of the apologists for these same groups) don’t want the police enforcing the law because it might affect election day turnout.
It IS magical!!! Pelosi says every bill will get published with 48 hours for people to review it – and they managed to cram that 48 hours into six hours!!! MAGIC!!!!!
They say it’s transparent even though they wrote it in the dead of night with no input from the other party! Magic!
They say it will promote economic prosperity when it repeals the most successful welfare reform of the Republican congress back during the Clinton era (so successful Clinton took credit for it). Magic!!
The 20 year project of building a mag lev train to connect the legal whores in Reid’s Los Vegas to the legal-if-filmed-by-Vivid whores of Pelosi’s California will stimulate the economy all in 2009!!! Pure Magic!
They’ll spend money on embryonic stem cell research that produces cancer in long term tests, probably shortchanging adult stem cell therapies that actually work, even though they IN THE VERY SAME BILL lay the groundwork to ration health care so that we won’t be able to get those cures if by some magic they actually are developed! YES!!! PURE F**KING MAGIC!!!!
There are some pretty sharp, science-minded people reading IMAO. To you I propose my new theory: that Stupidity is a Quantum Effect. My physics are a little rusty, so I turn to you to help me come up with a valid proof, but here goes…
Just as an electron at a certain energy level can drop, pretty much instantaneously, to a lower energy level and emit a photon in the process, a brain at a certain (fairly low) intelligence level can drop, pretty much instantaneously (having tasted the kool-aid) to an even lower intelligence level, and emit a stupid blog comment like:
Does my discovery qualify me for a Nobel Prize? If some anonymous Nobel Laureate is dumb enough to support the stimulus, my efforts should be worth about a six-pack of Nobel Prizes.
What gets me is everyones’ claim that “nobody’s read it”. Wait a minute, somebody read it all right. The phrase “He who smelled it dealt it” comes to mind.
So who read it? Why, the good folks who WROTE THE FUGGIN THING. Duh. Has anyone asked THEM what the hell is in it? I haven’t even heard any public or media inquiry about who was responsible for writing and compiling the Stimuli.
Too early?
I happen to know, from experience, that ‘windowpane’ was far superior to Owsley (might want to check your spelling – credibility, you know). I very clearly remember the last eight years. I also remember that as of last October, this nation was in debt to the tune of $10 trillion, give or take a few hundred billion, and I do remember which president and which party was in command, and is accountable, for incurring the horror and suffering on which this immense debt was spent. When you spend $1000 on a paintball gun and a silly camo outfit, and 30 grand for a land barge with a tailgate, it does seem bad form to scream at your wife for spending $100 on groceries.
Fortunately, I stuck with acid and have passed on this cool-aid thing to which I keep hearing references.
As you have no doubt already surmised, all of us, including Nobel Prize Laureates, Rhodes Scholars, etc, are simply ignorant liberal socialist pansies. Interesting, if not rational, conclusion.
Apparently the will of the American voter hasn’t inspired any sort of individual, reasonable contemplation in some of us. Yes, I know, I know, we’ve all been into the ‘cool-aid’ – it seems that to some of us, this homily accounts for just about any concept this side of the far right, far right. ‘Bout time to drop that diversion – the only ones subscribing to it at this point are the Limbaugh crowd – everyone else seems to be regaining consciousness after an 8-year coma.
>>>Fortunately, I stuck with acid…
Imagine my surprise!
Uh, huh,
Fascinating – let’s return to your critique of Nobel Laureates. Your intellectual credentials must be very impressive indeed – a Mensa member no doubt. You’ve almost certainly managed to offend and insult, well, none of us.
Your phrase selection of my message lacked imagination – just a bit off the point. What say we discuss the matter at hand?
And I have retained my ability to imagine – thank you. Imagination has lifted (some of us) out of the darkness of non-creative thinking. A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse, no?
So you do have a paintgun and a camo outfit…….explains everything.
I just finished RightJab’s dissertation. It is enlightening, and discouraging, to read something that so clearly defines the antithesis of reason, deductive logic and constructive thought. I will no longer blog this site – I’m afraid (and have good reason to believe) this sort of disuse of the human brain is contagious.
Wow, here come some brilliant liberals touting bumper stickers and quoting Nobel Prize winners, the nonsensical award recently given to Al Gore for his prostitition of the entire science world. Next they’ll be quoting Oscar winners…oh wait, Gore won one of those too, except they had to change rules in order to allow him to accept it. I’m sure Michael Moore will be given a Nobel Prize before long.
And, of course the argument that a little over 50-percent of America voted for “The One” – and slightly less than 50-percent voted against him (that with a Republican candidate that conservatives couldn’t even stomache) somehow means that the entire country is now socialist, left wing hippies.
Of course, the only thing missing from their posts is any clue regarding how this massive pork spending bill is going to do anything other than make what would have been a short-term recession into a much bigger problem…especially when it’s engineered by the same fools who caused the initial problem, and doesn’t address any of the causes. Somehow condescending fools like JohnRJ08 just spew the soundbites that have been brainwashed into their head without any comprehension that this bill was never designed to address any financial problems, just introduce massive socialism and “Big Brother” intrusion into the lives of most Americans. Kinda like Clinton’s “Midnight Basketball” bill they were all rooting for because it was labeled a “crime” bill. What lemmings.
What happened to “Truth To Power” libs? Too wimpy to question Chimpy Obamitler?
>>>As you have no doubt already surmised, all of us, including Nobel Prize Laureates, Rhodes Scholars, etc, are simply ignorant liberal socialist pansies
You have a masterful grip on the obvious. Indeed, you are all ignorant liberal socialist pansies.
>>>Apparently the will of the American voter hasn’t inspired any sort of individual, reasonable contemplation in some of us.
Individual? I speak for none other than myself. Contemplation? I contemplate nuking the moon and punching hippies. Whether that is reasonable, I suppose, is in the mind of the contemplator.
>>>Yes, I know, I know, we’ve all been into the ‘cool-aid’ – it seems that to some of us, this homily accounts for just about any concept this side of the far right, far right.
Here you approach truth – at least tangentially. Who but a kool-aid swigger would willingly count himself as anything but far, far right?
>>>‘Bout time to drop that diversion – the only ones subscribing to it at this point are the Limbaugh crowd
Limbaugh is a squishy moderate. Irrelevent to the discussion.
>>>everyone else seems to be regaining consciousness after an 8-year coma.
Yes, welfare reform has been repealed. They’ve roused themselves long enough to apply for more bennies.
>>>Fascinating – let’s return to your critique of Nobel Laureates.
As discussed above, we’re already in agreement that you are all ignorant liberal socialist pansies. Why do we need to belabor this point?
>>>Your intellectual credentials must be very impressive indeed – a Mensa member no doubt.
Not really. I’m a semi-literate gap-toothed mouthbreather with distinctly cro-magnon facial features. Mensa kicked me out when I hit the guest speaker with my hand-carved club made of mastodon tusk.
>>>You’ve almost certainly managed to offend and insult, well, none of us.
Who comprises the “us” you refer to?
>>>Your phrase selection of my message lacked imagination – just a bit off the point. What say we discuss the matter at hand?
The matter at hand is that the stimulus is only supported by kool-aid drinkers and ignorant liberal socialist pansies. I thought we’d resolved that already. Do you really need a remedial lesson on this again?
>>>And I have retained my ability to imagine – thank you. Imagination has lifted (some of us) out of the darkness of non-creative thinking. A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse, no?
Timothy Leary would approve.
Let’s stop there.
Socialism is a failure and government meddling in free markets skews the economy.
Why people, who base their sense of self-worth on being “the smartest guy in the room”, choose not to grasp these facts is mind-boggling. If people have a philosophical bent toward Socialism, they need to live under it before infecting America with any more of this drivel.
#32 Rightjabs:
> Socialism is a failure
How can you say such a thing? Look at the shining examples of socialism that have succeeded:
* The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
* Germany, under the National Socialist Party
* Cuba, and its thriving economy
* North Korea, and its thriving economy
I could go on, but I believe I have made my point. Now apologize.
I’ve got a question. If the stimulus package depends on being financed by borrowing money, and the Europeans, Arabs and Asians are as broke and in as much trouble as we are (and from what I’ve read they are) then who are we going to borrow the money from to finance the stimulus? Who’s left….the Africans or So. Americans….but they’ve never had any money anyway, so we can’t borrow from them. Do you suppose it might be from sources our government knows about, but to date, has been hiding from the general public! Sources so secret that even the President may be privy to them only on a need to know basis!? A source concealed by our government for years because we’d all panic ‘n stuff if we found out they existed!? Now I’m thinking….damn!! I hope that thing that crashed in Texas today wasn’t the Venusian Ambassador trying to land with a certified check for $800 billion……we could all be in real trouble!
go to obama is not my president .com and they have the stimuless bill broken down. Ignorance is bliss and the Democrats have everyones share!
Innominatus:
Any chance at all that you might utter anything more constructive and substantive than your belief that Nobel Prize Laureates, Rhodes Scholars, etc, “are all ignorant liberal socialist pansies.”? Or the classic “I contemplate nuking the moon and punching hippies.”? One of the more impressive was the “I’m a semi-literate gap-toothed mouthbreather with distinctly cro-magnon facial features. Mensa kicked me out when I hit the guest speaker with my hand-carved club made of mastodon tusk.” Or your profound observation that “the stimulus is only supported by kool-aid drinkers and ignorant liberal socialist pansies.” Thoughts to admire and revere – if you happen to be on your way to Hayden Lake (Idaho), or Angola (Louisiana), or Bellevue (NYC).
I’ve noticed that in all of your blogs that I’ve read; not once have you prefaced any of your comments with “I think”. Something for, at least, the rest of us to consider. You’re a clever reactionary, but, I’m afraid, you’re poorly equipped for the rational world. Might want to try your hand at cave painting, or improving Clovis points.
There I go again, thinking about the rational world – the last bastion of those ignorant liberal socialist pansies.
Well, I’ve read all the posts, and find not one “I think” on the entire site. Scary shit, this. Might want to check the add for Tirelle at the bottom of the page. Who knows, might prove to be some use to those that have “a picture of a wearin’-hat-n-spurs-n-not-much-else Pelosi tryin’ to ride Obama for 8 seconds…Ick…” Like I said – scary shit.
Enough already, I’m moving back to 21st century homo sapien conversation. I am the first to acknowledge this blog as ‘enlightening’.
I went out and bought Evelyn Wood speed reading course so that I could read every jot and tiddle quickly! Ths is th bes bil that our congres hs evr pssed and I m vry excitd too b reeceving my mony vry sooon!
The blame is with President Obama himself, nobody else. Instead of staying in Washington and crafting
a Stimulus package and banking proposal meaningful and protective of the American people, he was off on
his PR tour, looking for the next photo op. Clearly, a professional politician already running for his second term. Effective
government isn’t about ramming incomplete and inappropriate legislation through Congress so you can secure
a place in the history books and keep your approval ratings high, it’s about thoughtful and purposeful debate in a time
of great need. And where is the President today? Working on the foreclosure problem? No, he’s in Denver
securing the next photo op.
Having been with Mensa for nearly 20 years I can assure you wholeheartedly that IQ does not stand for Wisdom Quotient. Some of the most twisted logic I’ve ever heard has been at Mensa functions, and the most twisted of all comes from people from California. My favorite was the one where a couple insisted we deserved 9/11 because there were Starbucks in Paris, and this had a direct causal relationship. Or maybe the bloated feminist who insisted third world problems were caused by Reagan – which lead me to create a theory called “Reagan’s Time Machine” to explain how someone could go back and put failure mechanisms in these cultures hundreds or thousands of years ago so that he could be responsible for them.
G K Chesterton once said there are some ideas so impossibly convoluted that only an intellectual could believe them. He’s mostly right. I’ve worked with people who were so imbalanced they could twist anything into anything almost instantly. It certainly wasn’t seen as intellectual capacity for them to do so.
>>>Enough already, I’m moving back to 21st century homo sapien conversation.
Yay! innominatus repels troll w/ mastodon club!
I have officially carped my pants laughing. I’ll post a photo of 20 pound bottom feeder for sure.
This dodo talking about “firefighters, police and teachers” are essential argument makes me belly laugh. Let me pick it apart.
-1- firefighters – uhhuh. If there were a huge need then how can so few suffice? Hero worship is large component here. However its more a nicety. This lib probably calls twice a week cause he likes the big hairy one to put him on a stretcher and talks nice to him when he gets strange objects stuck in even stranger locations.
-2- Police – they are more there to hit the law abiding with speeding tickets and court cases when you blow away some career criminal. They are largely pathetic. Everyone owning a gun would do MUCH more just as wikipedia outstripped brittanica.
-3- Teachers. Yikes that name is misleading. Liberal indoctrinators. But that is why they are so essential to the jughead who made this comment.
Gee I am crying because NotSoReasonableSteve corrected my spelling of Osley / Owsley LSD. I have always thought spelling was the most important thing about writing. You can string endless meaningless words together as along as you spell them correctly. Wait…that explains liberals. Hey Steve…..when is your book of correct liberal thinking coming out ? Does it not hurt when it passes out your orifice?
No, actually it’s a book suggesting ways for people to assemble relevant, constructive thoughts. And I intend to publish the book, rather than carping it, officially or otherwise. It will be issued on CD as well as book form so….well, that should be obvious.
You folks seem to hate pretty much everyone – I suppose your blow-up friends fill the voids in your lives…or is it the other way around?
Now I think I’ll barricade myself into my bunker, dress up in my vicarious (not to mention insulting) camo outfit, grab my 357 artificial penis substitute and have my big, nasty dog protect me from women, firemen, teachers, the police, congress, intellectuals, “Chimpy”, socialist pansies, any Nobel Laureates that might be lurking in in nearby liberal shadows, creatures from my S&M dreams, visions of people carping rainbows – God, they’re all after me!!
>>>I suppose your blow-up friends fill the voids in your lives…or is it the other way around?
Other way around. My friends blow up voids.
>>>Now I think I’ll barricade myself into my bunker
I hope your bunker has a decent broadband connection. You’ve been fun. Almost as entertaining as watching Obama flip-flop on issues and nominate tax cheats.
Hey Steve, I thought you people mostly had flashbacks about spiders crawling on your skin. Or saw aliens.
As for your S&M fantasies and your comments on the fashion qualities of camouflage, THUS MISSING THE POINT THAT CAMO IS FOR THE WOODS FOR HUNTING AND DEER AREN’T FASHION CRITICS, I suspect you have bigger problems. Like getting your Barney Frank Tribute float ready for the pride parade between trips to the leather bar. It would certainly explain why you have a bunker with 357 penis substitutes. Can you take them all at once?
#29 – SteveReasonist,
“I will no longer blog this site – ”
Promises, promises!
“Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!”
– Psalm 133:1
Ahhhh, the tide is turning – so little time, so many chains to pull. What sort of voids do you and your friends blow up – other than the inflatable companions? Brothers dwell in unity? So you have been to Hayden Lake….
Oh, and you’ll have to check with 11 and 16 about the S&M dreams and anal fixation visions, respectively. As flattered as I might be, I’m afraid I’ve always been one of those straight liberals – don’t you just hate that! Maybe someone there in the bunker with you?
And Kent, you really are out of your league here – might want to get a few tips from Igno, at least he is respectably creative. Please enlighten me, one of boundless vision – where exactly did G.K. Chesterton stumble? Be sure and copy him, he’ll no doubt be forever greatful for your intellectual oversight.
Leather bars? So that’s where you’ve all been hunkered down – imagine my surprise!
Out of my league? You are a newcomer, aren’t you? How CUTE!!!!!
I will agree in that there is nothing short of divine intervention that could undo the damage that you’ve managed to do to your brain functions and chemistry, not to mention ideology. And unlike a liberal, scientologist, new ager, and/or neopagan, I don’t claim to personally have such powers. I’m not your therapist, but I hope yours has the legal capacity to adjust your meds. It’s time.
As for being one of those straight liberals, I’m well aware that that term has a very loose meaning within that ideology.
G K Chesterton was one of the best writers of the early 20th century, but because he was very very good at lampooning liberal professors and other postmodernists, he’s pretty much ignored by the educational systems. Which is why you apparently think he’s still alive at 134. Epic fail.
Your perpetual assertions that you have something intelligent to say are not borne out by the actual posts you have put here. We’re still waiting for something logical and grounded in fact rather than assertions and bluster coupled with ad hominem tripe. We can’t even discuss your ideas (you claim to have them) because all you give is smack, so we are responding in kind.
Thanks for playing, oh script kiddie of leftist talking points. Have a nice day. And lay off the vodka – it interferes with your meds, and the meds need all the help they can get.
You are right it’s certainly great that we’re in right direction but it’s not enough.
How about Federal Government install free solar panels or wind tunnel or geothermal for all the buildings and houses in the country. It would be a gift which keeps on giving as well as achieving Energy independence and Reduce Global Warming. This is like the New Deal for 21st Century and economic stimulus for all; Free Energy. Solar, wind, geothermal is limitless, clean and free. Department of Power would install and maintain the system so it would become biggest job producing entity in history. But we need job to get out of this economic downfall in downward spiral. News of this nature would re-bound the economy in zippy.
Gobama!!!
I have to congratulate all of you on giving me the best reading I have had in years. You all have given me the most observant and apparently accurate information from the (cough-spit) stimulus package that was just foisted on us poor Americans who now shall remain poor (but don’t worry-taken care of the “The One”) until we die of what will probably be an early and untimely death due to the new medical miracles we will never be able to receive because nationalized medicine decided we weren’t worthy of living anymore. I am so looking forward to having all that money in my now crashing bank that will carry me through to the end of my days. What in heaven’s name shall I spend it on first?? Might as well spend it because the bank is crashing and I wont be able to keep it there and keeping it under my mattress will make it so lumpy that I wont be able to get a good night’s sleep. So lets see. Where do I go from here? Hmmmm I know!! I will contribute all of my stimulus money to the political parties that will keep my future looking bright and cheerful and rich. Pardon me. I do have to go now so I can throwup.
republicans had injected their tax breaks but i guess i didn’t have a billion dollars a week going to Iraq so they voted no like rush limpball told them to..and people wonder why the economy is so bad..its called giving Iraq a blank check thanks to Bush.. what a bunch of dicks.. now republicans want america to fail .so patriotic…. why not move over to sunny Iraq they love you there and the money you give them free of charge. what dumbasses
I want some of what Frank and Barry have been smokin’
Where is the money coming from??? Well, the feds can just PRINT the stuff. They can print up a lot of dollars and hand it out for free to all who are deserving. And the chumps can continue to work fulltime or even two jobs producing all the goods and services that the deserving will buy with their freshly-printed dollars. This is how we get to the utopia of the future where 99% of people will have a life of leisure and relaxation (if low expectations) and 1% of people work like crazy to support everybody else in return for slightly a slightly nicer lifestyle when they aren’t working. Yes, that is surely genius!
World Peace:
If you plan to engage the resident social/cultural/intellectual artifacts, remember to bring along any Byzantine-era weapons you might have, a proctologist, a couple pair of cranium-sized forceps, an institutional-sized tube of K-Y Jelly, a respirator and a shovel. Medications won’t be necessary.
If you intend to do any serious research, may I suggest portable radiocarbon dating equipment – would be of value in fixing a date for the local inhabitants on the evolutionary continuum. Dendrochronology may work as well.
And never, under any circumstances, utter such words as progress, insight, thought, or related terms – these will, in almost every instance, result in the manifestation of symptoms similar in most respects to those of rabies and/or dementia. Most will respond to monosyllabic summonses.
Thank you, Mr. Kent, for your undeniably expert testimony on the inane and arcane (hint: Webster). You are excused. You may now return to your stump.
With that, Your Honor, I rest my case.
Hey everybody. The American consumer comprises 2/3 of our
economy. It’s up to us. If you still have a good job, go out to eat.
Buy a new American car! Get your honey a nice gift, geeze, come on
people!
Pingback: President Obama Signs Stimulus Bill | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty
“After spending some time there, they were sent off by the brothers with the blessing of peace to return to those who had sent them.”
– Acts 15:33
Steve The Reasonist LOL you copied “the illusionist” but changed the part that would have been accurate! Lets see what it would have been: Steve the illusionist. Sounds good. Since socialism is the political equivalent of the perpetual motion machine. I’d be curious what your job is stevey weavy. School teacher? Male nurse? You are no engineer. Takes too much testosterone for that.
Stevey weavy? I might have gone with Stevie – as is the norm. Haven’t been addressed as such since, what, the 5th grade? Her name was Becky, she was beautiful, and she wanted to, well, fool around – which, of course, we did.
You know, I was thinking about your earlier, and refreshingly enlightened, rebuttal to the “jughead dodo” with the patently ridiculous liberal notion that teachers are somehow essential. You certainly, with enviable aplomb and articulation, set him straight. Absolutely on target. “Liberal Indoctrinators” – couldn’t be a more perceptive assessment. I, too, painfully recall the brainwashing I’ve endured under these libertarian, terrorist pansies. Leftist physics, socialist organic chemistry, feminist statics and dynamics, gay algebra, Timothy Leary thermodynamics, welfare state optics, humanitarian calculus, postmodernist particle theory, cool-aid astrophysics – the tragedy of this Left Wing process of indoctrination goes on interminably. I’ve since turned to decidedly more objective sources of modern wisdom – Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, IMAO -clearly the transcendent intellectual vanguard of our age.
Just a word about firefighters – should you have a heart attack or stroke, or one of your children is injured in an accident – for heaven’s sake, don’t call the fire department. You know as well as I the “big hairy one” will show up – and we’re on to his perverse purpose. I’m sure the nation’s firefighters appreciate your compliments, encouragement and heartfelt thanks for what they do – especially those in New York – I know I do.
And well, the fact is I am an engineer – mechanical to be specific. You know, one of those pseudo intellectual elitists that design systems for hospitals, schools, research labs, water treatment, wastewater treatment, mass transit, military installations, energy conservation, alternative fuels – all those ill-conceived, porkulus diversions from more critical elements of our infrastructure – such as…….uh, perhaps you would provide a few examples for our readers.
As far as the testosterone factor goes – mine is, according to my wife and my closet-communist doctor, at average, normal levels for a healthy adult male. The same can’t be said of several of my colleagues – brilliant examples of what transpires when women are ‘allowed’ an education (in direct violation of Fundamentalist Islamic law) – and ‘allowed’ (ditto) to demonstrate their considerable and often enviable skills in the workforce.
FreemonSandlewould:
Out of curiosity and respect for your opinions, I’ve reread your four blogs on this site. Being a liberal, listening and considering is, after all, part of my ideology. I believe I now more fully understand the theme, focus and merit of your ideology. See if you can connect the dots.
Your first blog (#16) references President Obama’s bowel function – “…Obama crapz rainbows made of Yellow moons, pink clovers, green onions, blue stars and double orange Osley microdots..”
Your second blog (#42) states that “I have officially carped my pants.” You also suggested that “This lib probably calls twice a week cause he likes the big hairy one to put him on a stretcher and talks nice to him when he gets strange objects stuck in even stranger locations.”
Your third blog (#43) asks me personally – “Does it not hurt when it passes out your orifice?”
Your fourth blog (#61) has provided a refreshing change of pace. Your perspective on the gender and hormone requirements of the referenced professions is an elegant example of the utterances of a career gender terrorist – if not a clinical sociopath. Thanks for moving away from the pervasive and perverse anal theme – and so clearly illustrating the core of your affliction. Have you yet managed to follow the three (brown) dots – and the associated “strange objects” – to the payoff? The rest of us certainly have.
“When I went out to the gate of the city,
when I prepared my seat in the square,
the young men saw me and withdrew,
and the aged rose and stood;
the princes refrained from talking,
and laid their hand on their mouth;
the voice of the nobles was hushed,
and their tongue cleaved to the roof of their mouth.
When the ear heard, it called me blessed,
and when the eye saw, it approved;
because I delivered the poor who cried,
and the fatherless who had none to help him.
The blessing of him who was about to perish came upon me,
and I caused the widow’s heart to sing for joy.
I put on righteousness, and it clothed me;
my justice was like a robe and a turban.
I was eyes to the blind, and feet to the lame.
I was a father to the poor,
and I searched out the cause of him whom I did not know.
I broke the fangs of the unrighteous,
and made him drop his prey from his teeth.
Then I thought, ‘I shall die in my nest,
and I shall multiply my days as the sand,
my roots spread out to the waters,
with the dew all night on my branches,
my glory fresh with me,
and my bow ever new in my hand.’
Men listened to me, and waited,
and kept silence for my counsel.
After I spoke they did not speak again,
and my word dropped upon them.
They waited for me as for the rain;
and they opened their mouths as for the spring rain.
I smiled on them when they had no confidence;
and the light of my countenance they did not cast down.
I chose their way, and sat as chief,
and I dwelt like a king among his troops,
like one who comforts mourners.”
– Job 29:7-25.
“I’ve lived a life that’s full,
I traveled each and ev’ry highway,
and more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
– Paul Anka, My Way, 1969.