If there was a peace prize in the Awesomeness Awards, this would totally win. It could save tons of people in a totally awesome way: Killing mosquitoes with a heat-seeking laser. It will fry them mid-flight by the millions using leftover technology from SDI. This is a text book example of why you don’t mess with humans: Other animals may just swat at mosquitoes, but we make an automated laser cannon.
Wow, just crying out for large “Save The Mosquito” demonstrations with idiots dressed as giant mosquitos. Now that Obama has ended all war forever, perhaps Code Pink could divert their well-thought-out efforts to saving the mosquitos. Berkley would serve as a great location for a demonstration, however, marching on Washington dressed as giant bugs would probably be more likely.
I realize this post is probably just A Guy Thing, but don’t they already have a Mosquito Zapper?–At Home Depot?
[Dude, this doesn’t lure mosquitoes in and electrocutes them, it tracks them by the sound they make and fries them with a laser. That’s at least a hundred times cooler. -Ed.
Son of Bob, if that happens can we zap the costumed pinkos too?
Not to cast any aspersions on the necessity of this kind of technology because-it’s-awesome, which is an excellent reason…
But wouldn’t it be easier AND cheaper to just lift the ban on DDT? Wouldn’t it also be more environmentally friendly considering the chemicals that go into lasers and their supporting computerized control units?
Faster, Easier, Cheaper, More Effective… the quadfecta! Waaaaay too many positive qualities for Enviro-cultists to go for it…
It can also differentiate species, and males vs females if the programmers so desire. Or they can just fry them all.
Ussjimmycarter could use one of those up in Minnesota to fight off that state’s Great Horned Mosquito. Reports are coming in that they’ve started to breed with the warmer weather. Average weight: 1+ pound; wingspan: 4+ feet. Plus they drop turds the size of Franken’s nose. Poor ussjimmycarter.
I wonder if the laser could be reprogramed to zap hippies…and if so would just the thought of getting zapped work to make them take a bath, get a hair cut, and get a job? This could be a good behavioral modification tool
Careful! Careful! Careful! Some of these mosquitos may have imigrated across the border, and although they are illegal they still have rights. Taking any action that could be objectionable to Acorn or the ACLU could result in sanctions such as Barney Frank sitting on your face!
What has also not been discussed is: Will the heat generated by burning mosquito bodies increase global warming? Does the product have the Al Gore seal of approval?
To 8. Of course it doesn’t. A blood sucker like Gore is terrified of it.
Blood suckers with mosquito thin limbs beware!
BHO will never let this be used in DC.
This project is going to meet fierce opposition from the left. They’re blood-sucking mosquitoes and as such, they will be defended by the Progressives as a matter of professional courtesy.
My understanding is that the laser will be equipped with a tracking system that zeroes in on the high-pitched whine created by their wing beats…another reason why this will opposed by the left-
They’ll fear for their well-being since they make the same whiny sounds every time they open their little slack-jawed Obama holes.
What’s the effective range on the laser?
Can we mount one in the House gallery
and release a cloud of mosquitoes in Congress?
Meh. It’d be better if there was a thermonuclear warhead involved.
Berkley demonstrators protesting on behalf of ‘nature’s curious pet’ , the mosquito towards the end of the day would be caught completely off guard with 2 or so dozen crashers unleash pickle jar mayhem disguised in Bill Gates masks. Their smotto will probably be something clever like ‘Save Gilligan’s Brother’ or something.
This is absolutely the things we should be spending money on. When hippies cry about all of the money we spend on the military they fail to realize that a lot of stuff we develop for the military get turned into civilian niceties. I want one of these!
If they have a working model I’d love to see a demonstration video.
If they can track and hit a tiny moving target by sound alone, can they modify it to track other annoying and/or potentially dangerous noisy things?
The mind boggles at the possibilities!
NASTY PIGLOSI HAS HER OWN FACTOTUM,
HER LAST FACE LIFT LOOKS LIKE A SCROTUM,
LEAVING HER BROOM ASIDE,THIS UGLY OLD HIDE,
INSISTS UPON A GULFSTREAM IN WHICH TO RESIDE,
LETS PUT AN END UM, TO THIS GERIATRIC PUDENDUM.
Actually, from the description in the article, it sounds more like a Death Blossom a la The Last Starfighter rather than a Death Star.
This is the worst nightmare of diseased parasites in Congress, mosquitoes, and Bill Gates. Could it get any more awesome? Yes, if Dick Cheney was using it while leading a brigade of dinosaurs on an assassination mission.
Did I fall asleep for two weeks? That article has to be an April Fools joke.
Actually, it’s a frequency seeking laser. Heat , though.
Heat (opposite of seeking) , though *
Stupid HTML
i’m having a hard time understanding this post…… a laser gun…. to destroy…… annoying buzzing insects….. okay so it it to destroy mosquitoes or terrorists? i think you can see why i am confused.
assuming it is for mosquitoes and assuming it works……… why can’t they make a larger version for use on terrorists?
last year local news ran a story of an 11 year old boy who invented a mosquito eleminator. It works with sonar, he puts a speaker in a pond and it emits sound waves that target mosquito larve. The vibrations make the larve explode.( so cool )
We here in Minnesota have much free time on our hands from the second week in August until the last week in July (Winter) where we can tinker with this devise. I personally plan to get my paws on one and shall have a nuclear mach 3 turbo switch installed on it just in time for the onslaught of these blood suckers from hell! Once I’m certain that it totally super devastates every last bug within 5 miles of my house, I’m turning it on hippies and democrats to see what happens to those blood suckers. If it works, cool. If not…hey, back to the shop for another winter of tinkering…
This was “Done” on Monty Python many years ago. After running around shooting machine guns and bazookas for 5 minutes someone asked: Why don’t you just use bug spray? Answer: Why that wouldn’t be sporting!
The Mosquitoes here in Minnesota began a ingenious strategy about 10 years ago of slowly acclimating to all bug sprays. They would simply start slowing ingesting tiny doses until they could drink it by the gallons with no ill effect. It has actually caused them to mutate to a new more deadly strain of the insect. Now rather than simply seeking humans by their body heat and release of breath, they actually are attracted to anyone unlucky enough to actually apply a leading bug spray! Our only current defense currently is to RUN FOR OUR LIVES!
Of course the biggest question is where do we get the dinosaurs to mount these lasers on.
We watched as the mayor of Portland used the story of rainy days to keep all the creeps from California from moving north to Portland. We here in Minnesota are finally telling the truth about our Mosquito problem to keep all the reprobates from moving here! We are full! The last Senate race was proof enough for us!
I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
The laser targets the mosquito’s whining and droning noises. Oh, man, this thing just writes itself!
We need a line of these devices at twenty-foot intervals running from San Diego, California to Brownsville, Texas, powered by a nuclear reactor and pointed south, and targeting anything that moves. Oh, and two for the hood of my car.
ss396 wrote: “The laser targets the mosquito’s whining and droning noises.” In that case, a half dozen for each house of Congress, too. Surely there’s enough left in the defense budget for that.
And no, I’m not calling you Surely.
If adapted for illegals, the mexicannon could become obsolete.
if we adapted the laser for illegals we’d still have to call it a mexicannon. mexilaser just don’t have the same ring too it as mexicannon
How about a mexilasercannon? Rolls off the tongue nicely and all. And while we’re at it, I’d also like a mexilightsaber. It would go nicely with my mexiboomstick.
the mexilasercannon that works, I’d like a mexilightsaber myself
Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » The Secret to Being a Good Executive Is to Kill Things in Your Spare Time
I have a mexi-canoe, but it sits awfully low in the water.
This actually would be a great deterrent for those damned kids at the mall. Get them hooked on the Mosquito ringtone that only the younguns can her, then after they’ve converted, sent in the death blossoms and call all the little teeny-boppers. Man, I really am not fond of tweens, pre-teens and teens. Not too keen on the rest of you either. Well, maybe you guys, but the rest of the world is right out.
#41, LOL. I can see it now: some little weasel at the mall going — Dude?! (ring) Aeeeiii
re: Son of Bob says: March 18th, 2009 at 6:03 pm Wow, just crying out for large “Save The Mosquito” demonstrations with idiots dressed as giant mosquitos
Back when I was a yung un in Pennsylvania, folks formed Neighbors Against Gnats (NAG) & it is apparently still in existence, despite have a donkey governor:
“Bush lied, people died! Ouch!”
“Haliburton! Ouch!”
“No war for oil! Ouch!”
“Hope and change! Ouch!”
“Comprehensive immigration reform! Ouch!”
“No tax breaks for the rich! Ouch!
“Man, that really hurts! Ouch!
“Hey, I didn’t say anything annoying that time! Ouch!
(Dude, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.)
Oh please, you people can’t be taking this article seriously. a “weapon of mosquito destruction” (WMD) and “The laser is able to distinguish between mosquitoes that go after people and those that aren’t dangerous.” I mean, really, this has Frank’s fingerprints all over it.