So Ahmadinejad is accusing Europe of using high tech equipment to steal Iran’s rain. First off, you think someone wants to steal your rain? And you think Europe is behind it? I mean, it would make at least some sense if you said Dick Cheney was behind it. I mean, this is like North Korean crazy; I think your people have to be much more isolated before you spout nonsense like that.
And it’s not the only crazy thing Ahmadinejad has accused the West of doing:
OTHER CRAZY THING AHMADINEJAD HAS ACCUSED THE WEST OF
* Adding secret chemical to water supply that is causing squirrels to become larger.
* Stealing all his underwear for big business profit scheme.
* Moving TV shows two minutes off their regular time slot so that they get cut off by the DVR.
* Having the CIA train cats to stare at him and creep him out.
* Stealing most of his blue M&Ms.
* Having secret agents follow him and point and laugh at him whenever he isn’t looking.
* Murdering all his goldfish.
* Sending people into his bedroom at night to shave his beard and make it look all scruffy.
* Changing the formula for tin foil so it no longer blocks mind rays.
* Converting all of Iran’s pigeons to the Judaism.
But don’t worry; when Ahmadinejad get nuclear weapons, he’s going to use them responsibly.
It’s not the size of the squirrel, it’s how well he can handle the rocket-launcher.
* Changing his high class imported German beer to Coors Light. Those infidel bastards!
* Changing his DVD of Casablanca to Debbie Does Dallas. Actually he would enjoy such a change. Nevermind.
* Letting their women act “uppity” and not beating them.
* Saying “Radical Islam” in a manner that implies that it’s a bad thing.
* Pushing the idea that regular bathing and hygiene are the social norm (France excluded).
* Convincing the Mullahs that he’s crazy and needs to go.
* Scaring the Chinese into thinking he’s unacceptable as an oil supplier.
* Planting the idea that the “Arab Spring” might lead to the “Persian Fall.” (hehe – I’m just full of
itcutesies!)OK, I admit it. I have been murdering his goldfish.
Convincing his people that Sheep Buggering is wrong!
Teaching Iranian Women how to hit back…only harder!
Taking Homo Stoning to The Next Level
All the water they do have in Iran now is Jooooooooooo water!
Discovering the CIA traded out his goat jerky for bacon strips.
Coaxing a radioactive spider to bite him….Spidermullah !!!
– Striking Mr. Salute Guy with arthritis in his right arm and hand.
– Messing with page ranks for searches for “Ahmadinejad”
– Blackballing his application to the Bohemian Grove. Dick Cheney is suspected.
– Blocking the TV show Friends from his satellite receiver.
– Replacing his coffee with Folgers Decaf.
– Injecting bacon fat into water supplies.
As far fetched as the bacon rumor may be, England’s enemies did something similar during the country’s land wars in India. Her enemies spread the rumor that British bullets were greased with bacon fat. The paper cartridge in use at the time required the soldier to bite down on the bullet while tearing the cartridge. Despite pleas from their officers, many Muslim soldiers under British command fell for the ruse and refused to fight.
Blast. The one time I don’t check a link, I should have checked it: Mr. Salute Guy
Here’s just what Ahmadinejad needs…….. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy4iNuXSVU4
Rain? Ha!
Wait til the Tornadoes come. Obama has been testing them in the states that don’t vote for him.
Obama = FAIL! We got one of his tornadoes last night in Minnesota! I’m pretty sure we voted for him!
@6: “Jooooooooooo water” – mixed with the new sensation, Star of David Crystals? LOL
Itsnotadoorknob accused the west of:
Putting Rice Krispies in his fallafel
Short sheeting his bed
Putting lard in his toothpaste tube
Switching the left and right sandals
looking under his camels burka
Replacing his MP3’s with Justin Beiber & Marilyn Manson.
Trying to convince him the best way to use goat intestine as a condom is to remove it from the goat first.
* Having the CIA train cats to stare at him and creep him out.
* Changing the formula for tin foil so it no longer blocks mind rays.
Them’s some good ideas, there. I hope we actually have people working on these.
the best way to use goat intestine as a condom is to remove it from the goat first.
So that’s what
Imy friend was doing wrong!I can imagine very few things less desirable than Ahmajinedade’s used underwear. There’s no profit motive, so it can’t be us stealing it. There. One accusation debunked. It’s probably the goat.
You’re welcome.
It really sucks when you live in a place so crappy that the only thing worth stealing is your rain.