* You know how everyone has their idea of what a fair tax plan is? Well, I have now unveiled the “Frank J. Fleming Super Double Extra Fair Tax Plan” at PJ Media and it is the fairest of them all. I mean, it’s crazy fair. You’ll recoil in horror and scream, “No! Too fair!” That’s how fair it is.

* According to Nancy Pelosi, no jobs is better than non-union jobs. And considering how little is union these days, I guess Pelosi wants to see something like 90% unemployment before things start improving.

Again, I ask, why do we give these people any influence whatsoever over business? I wouldn’t trust these people to sort paperclips, and yet we have them making decisions about important things. We won’t have a recovery until these people lose all their power, and we won’t have justice until they live penniless on the streets.

* Obama is taking aim at election laws that prevent fraud because they’re really going to need that edge this next year. Also, some liberals are actually talking about giving children the vote. The left like to claim that the Tea Party are dumb and uninformed, but how come their reelection efforts always amount to them trying to get as many dumb and uninformed people to the polls as possible? I don’t think the left is going to be satisfied until voting for the president is done through an internet poll. And that’s how we’ll end up with Ron Paul as president.

* A new Ronald Reagan statue has been unveiled in D.C., and that made me think you could easily take this column I did comparing Obama to a sack of hammers and replace “sack of hammers” with “Reagan statue”. Think of if: President Ronald Reagan statue. You know he’ll be laissez-faire.

* BTW, in a recent poll, more people wished Ronald Reagan was president for this crisis than wanted FDR back in office. Ha! People trust Reagan over Roosevelt. What a great left-wing realignment Obama started.

* A French satirical newspaper got firebombed for making fun of Mohammad. In the war against Islamists, we need to protect our satire. I can’t stress that enough. I mean, it would really suck if you had all these great Mohammad jokes and couldn’t use them out of fear of firebombs. Me, I am always eating bacon to keep Islamists at bay. Works like a crucifix to a vampire. And is tasty.

* In a radio ad for handgun classes in Texas, it was advertised that the instructor would not teach Muslims or Obama voters. He may be in trouble for discrimination against Muslims, but I don’t see any law that prevents you from refusing service to Obama voters. Maybe it would be illegal, though, if being an Obama voter was taken as evidence of having a mental handicap.

* Wisdom of the Day: “SC sheriff advises on self-defense: ‘don’t get mace, get a firearm.’ If your heart’s set on mace, get the medieval kind with spikes.” –Fred Thompson

* If you want to see NPR attempt humor, this is kind of fascinating from a sociological perspective. It’s a humorous list — like I often do — targeting Metallica. It has a few things that are borderline funny, but as a whole it’s like they have a vague understanding of what humor is, but never quite seized the concept in full. Anyway, your tax dollars helped pay for that, and anything my tax dollars pay for should be as absolutely hilarious as the rest of federal government.

* So is there something to the claims of sexual harassment against Herman Cain? What we’ve been learning so far is how many details we don’t know. Who were the people who alleged sexual harassment? What was alleged? How much was the settlement? Are the people behind this all just anti-pizza extremists? Or Mitt Romney?

It is quite an October surprise — though certainly better to have it this October rather than next. Maybe, though, the harassment was just that Cain took a puff a of a cigarette and blew the smoke in the the women’s faces. He does seem to create work environments where people think that’s okay.

* So the Occupy Wall Street people were tired of being symbolically raped by bankers so they gathered together in Zuccotti park to actually get raped. Well, it’s all for a good cause… that no one can coherently explain.

* BTW, the demonstrators are trying to trademark the name “Occupy Wall Street”. It’s not a step towards coherency, but it’s nice to know some people there are concerned about capitalism. They can’t trademark “twinkles” and “down twinkles”, though, because those belong to all of humanity.

* As we’re hurtling towards nominating Romney, it is interesting that Republicans can never nominate anyone they’re enthused about. The left are always shrieking about how the GOP is going to nominate some right-wing extremist, but we can never actually do that while they often do nominate left-wing nuts for president. What Republicans always end up with is some milquetoast establishment candidate. The early states that decide the primary almost seem to have been chosen at random, but you have to wonder if there is actually some RINO genius behind them considering the results. Well, can we defy expectations and nominate someone like Herman Cain? He might harass us.

* Studies show that constantly praising your child as smart might actually harm him in the long run as he won’t have the drive to succeed and expect everything to come easily. Hey, who is someone we know who is constantly praised as smart yet seems to be unable to do anything useful as an adult. He lives in a big house. A white one. You see where I’m going with this?

* The View wants to host a Republican debate. Might be a good idea to attend. One could really ensure himself the nomination if he just locks up the shrill harpy vote.

Plus, little chance of Herman Cain harassing any of the panel.

* Wisdom of the Day: “Kid, if you don’t know whether your Batman costume is pre or post reboot continuity, you don’t deserve candy. Also, Batman doesn’t cry.” –Sean Thomason

* Only fourteen more days until my book, Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything, comes out. How are all of you doing on saving up your $1.99 for it? Almost there? If not, you might want to think about taking up a temp job to help earn the money.

I hear about how in the poorest countries they live on two dollars a day. So no matter how bad off you are, all you need to do is not eat for a day and you should have the money. Trust me; it’s worth it.