Random Thoughts

Will today be on the Jay Thomas Show on Sirius-XM. Wonder what that will be like, as I don’t think he’s a conservative.

Wish I knew how not to be so terrified of radio interviews. I’m thinking I’ll just make myself a list of talking points.

I know I’m going to pull a total Rick Perry. I’ve done it before.

Let’s see, what will be my talking points for my book…

Main point: My book is very funny.

Other point: It’s only $1.99. Don’t pretend you don’t have a spare two dollars.

Talking Point 3: It’s a digital book, which makes it fun to read while wearing a Tron costume.

Talking Point 4: There’s $2.50 of funny in it, so that’s nearly 25% more funny for free.

Talking Point 5: A portion of every book sold goes to buying my one-year-old daughter, Buttercup, cute hats.

BABIES NEED LOTS OF HATS!

Talking Point 6: Only book about Obama to reference Snarf from Thundercats.

Talking Point 7: I’ll digitally sign your copy for free. That’s right – I’ll use my personal private key to encrypt a hash of your book.

I’m shopping around a screenplay about a rogue criminal who plays by the rules.

BUY MY BOOK!

15 Comments

  1. For the radio interview perhaps you can use your ipad as a teleprompter.

    Or try this: Just pretend the audience is Harvey and Basil, and for extra measure, imagine them naked.

    Does that help?

  2. Or try this: Just pretend the audience is Harvey and Basil, and for extra measure, imagine them naked.

    Does that help?

    No. No, it does not. In fact, I’m going to need to go polish off a fifth of vodka to try to get that image out of my head. Maybe two fifths.

  3. Talking Point 4: There’s $2.50 of funny in it, so that’s nearly 25% more funny for free

    So Mr “I graduated from one of the best engineering schools in the country”, don’t they teach math at that school?

    .50 is more than 25% of 1.99. It’s 25.125% of 1.99.

    You’d better let SarahK tutor Buttercup in math.

  4. This isn’t really a random thought, but I don’t want to hijack Frank’s awesome book thread, so I’ll hijack this one.

    Did folks catch the kind and thoughtful words Justin Timberlake had after he attended a Marine Corps ball?

    I’ve never thought one way or another about the man, but I am impressed. A photo of his date (with Timblake only in the background) is currently the banner on his home page.

  5. “Will today be on the Jay Thomas Show on Sirius-XM. Wonder what that will be like, as I don’t think he’s a conservative.”

    Here’s a helpful tip, Frank. The minute he spouts any stupid liberal nonsense, just remind him that the high point of his career was being on Mork & Mindy. There’s no way a guy from Mork & Mindy can make you look stupid.

  6. #9 So Mr “I graduated from one of the best engineering schools in the country”, don’t they teach math at that school?

    .50 is more than 25% of 1.99. It’s 25.125% of 1.99.

    Don’t be too hard on FramkJ. At least he is closer than those ‘occupants’ on percentages. and I spent lots of money giving them 12 years of education. (Why do I still get their mail)

  7. Hmm, aren’t private keys are for decryption? I didn’t go to no fancypants CMU though.

    [They’re for both. The process is symmetrical. Signatures involve using the private key for encryption instead of decryption. -Ed.]

  8. Amazon makes it difficult to buy this book if you have a BN Nook. I’d love to contribute to Buttercup’s hat fund but… So what are the alternative purchasing methods?

    Thank you,

    A Fellow Curler from Minnesota

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