The iWatch is coming!
Maybe.
Nobody really knows what it is. But there is all kind of speculation that Apple is building some great new fancy device that you’ve gone your entire life without but once you know about it, won’t be able to live without.
Like the iPod did. Unless you don’t have an iPod.
And like the iPhone. Unless you don’t have an iPhone.
And like the iPad. Unless you don’t have an iPad.
Or a Roku. Oh, wait. Apple didn’t invent the Roku. They got Apple TV though, which is pretty cool, but it’s no Roku. Though it is close.
Anyway, Bloomberg (the news organization, no the idiot mayor) reports that Apple is building something they’re calling the “iWatch” — as in wristwatch.
And, it’ll be an Apple invention. Something nobody would every have thought of before. Ever.
And, you’ll want one. You’ll never know how you got by without it.
Then, it’ll be racist to have one, because the fat unemployed lady with food stamps and an Obamaphone doesn’t have one — even if she’s white and looks like a Honey Boo Boo family member, it’ll still be racist because … SHUT UP!!1!!!.
So, there’ll be a new tax, and your Verizon bill (or whoever runs the service behind the iWatch) will go up so they can fund handing them out to useless people.
iCan hardly wait.
Many of the terminally unemployed will need one to let them know if they accidentally wake up before noon.
The iWatch? Are you sure it isn’t from that idiot mayor? The name makes it sound like some new omnipresent surveillance system that he would use to track what you’re eating. “Hey you, put down that Big Mac and have an apple! You have 10 seconds to comply.”
Don’t have, don’t need, and don’t want any of those devices.
If you use an Android you could already get one.
iGawohlt…
Sounds nice, but will it have the GPS device to guide in drone strikes like the Obamaphone?
A personal goal of mine is to stay at least 5 years behind technology. Okay, it’s not really a goal, but I have little interest in having the latest, greatest anything. And I’m a bit of a tight-wad. But I have noticed that plenty of welfare bums have iphones, ipads, cable TV, and various other luxuries that I find difficult to work into my budget limited by earned income. I use this bit of information to fend off the never-ending requests from my teenagers for whatever “essential item” is required to maintain the appropriate social status. My standard reply has become: “Sorry, we’re not poor enough to afford that.”
why don’t you just buy a pebble? they already exist and they’re like $150