Straight Line of the Day: To Prevent Future Vandalizing of Historic Landmarks, President Obama…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

To prevent future vandalizing of historic landmarks, President Obama…

50 Comments

  1. …declared them “street art zones” so instead of being called “vandalism” it would now be called “free speech” and subsidized by the NEA

    …declared them “graffiti free zones”

  2. …played a round of golf.

    …took another extravagant vacation.

    …had very nice, expensive, opaque curtains installed at the White House so he could continue to ignore the problem.

    …raised taxes

    …gave another anti-gun speech

    …focused on the economy

    …referred to the problem as “another crisis manufactured by the Republicans”

  3. To prevent future vandalizing of historic landmarks, President Obama…

    …had the landmarks torn down to make room for Acorn offices.

    …had a law passed that made possession of more than 1 oz of paint would be considered “possession with intent to vandalize”.

    …had the UN declare that July 26 will be known as “International Anti-Vandalism Day”.

  4. To prevent future vandalizing of historic landmarks, President Obama…

    declared “Mission Accomplished” as he has already destroyed the greatest country on Earth all by bad assed self.

  5. Interlude:

    Do you like
    green paint for slam?

    I do not like them,
    Sam-I-am.
    I do not like
    green paint for slam.

    Would you like them
    Here or there?

    I would not like them
    here or there.
    I would not like them
    anywhere.
    I do not like
    green paint for slam.
    I do not like them,
    Sam-I-am

    Would you like them
    on a house?
    Would you like them
    on a mouse?

    I do not like them
    on a house.
    I do not like them
    on a mouse.
    I do not like them
    here or there.
    I do not like them
    anywhere.
    I do not like green paint for slam.
    I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

  6. …stated that no one needed more than one paint can in this day and age and promised to enact programs where ‘painters’ would have to go through a registration process in order to purchase paint.

  7. To prevent future vandalizing of historic landmarks, President Obama…

    has redefined “landmark” to mean nothing, no more landmarks no more vandalism. “Whoopee Doopee! Me-um genius!!”

  8. …said that if he had a Vandal it wouldn’t look like Joe Escalante. Had Joe Escalante taken outside and shot.

    …had all landmarks replaced with Folgers Crystals.

    …solved the problem by surrounding the MLK Memorial with troops and letting Whoopi Goldberg say that it ain’t vandalism-vandalism anywhere else.

    …tweeted that all his thugs were gonna need a bigger jackboot.

  9. To prevent future vandalizing of historic landmarks, President Obama…
    Ordered today that all historic landmarks will be shipped to the 57th State and placed under around the clock guard by armed Corpsmen who only speak Austrian.

  10. …signed an executive order instructing the NSA to leak the fact that he has hired PreCogs to arrest you before you vandalize it, then blamed snowden for telling us.

    …tasked prism to search for the word “paint”, then programmed skynet to drone strike the offenders.

    …apologized to muslims in case they would eventually be blamed.

  11. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

  12. To prevent future vandalizing of historic landmarks, President Obama…

    …is turning them all into homeless shelters for the IRS, NSA and State Department employees who will be fired for their part in their organization’s scandals.

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