Some Things Work. Some Things Don’t

[High Praise! to According to Hoyt]

NOTE: This excerpt references a poem by Rudyard Kipling called “The Gods of the Copybook Headings” that I’ll link here and explain via a Wikipedia quote:

It contains “age-old, unfashionable wisdom” that Kipling saw as having been forgotten by society and replaced by “habits of wishful thinking.”

The “copybook headings” to which the title refers were proverbs or maxims, extolling virtues such as honesty or fair dealing that were printed at the top of the pages of 19th-century British students’ special notebook pages, called copybooks. The school-children had to write them by hand repeatedly down the page.

_______________

Government produces nothing. It doesn’t build that. It doesn’t build anything. It can’t. Government is force. It can, on threat of that force, seize enough of what someone produced to give to someone else. Even when it “builds” roads or power plants, it does so with confiscated wealth and at the expense of what the owners might have done with that wealth. (They wouldn’t have? How do you know? Remember status. Throughout history humans have funded research – often in useless stuff – and paid for innovation. How do you know left to its own devices private capital wouldn’t have created neighbordhood-sized nuclear plants? Or who knows what? The one thing we know is that nothing done by government has ever come in on time or under budget.)

When governments start thinking in terms of “feeding the hungry” which in our day becomes “giving things to the continuously redefined poor” what it is actually doing is reducing the number of people working in the productive sector. Between the bureaucrats working to redistribute wealth and the people working to keep getting the handouts, a huge contingent of people is removed from the productive sector.

When that number reaches the point where the productive sector can’t keep up, a crash ensues. An Earth-shaking Kaboom, you might say. The “you” in the poem is collective in this case. “You” individual might survive for a time, without working, given a very wealthy society. But no society can remain wealthy when it doesn’t “work” – ie. When it produces nothing. And eventually the gods of the copybook headings, in fire and terror return.

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “If you don’t work you die.”
_______________

It’s a good poem. Give it a read.

I Play This Over My Phone Whenever I’m Not Talking on It

[High Praise! to Travelwise42 of Wise Up!]


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #736)

The vocals have a bit of a “boy band” vibe to them (which is not my favorite musical genre), but the style is very well-parodied, so I still enjoyed it.

Motivating!

New York City officials announced a new initiative to encourage office workers to take the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator.

Piece of cake. Just make all stairwell landings into designated smoking areas.

IMAO Actually Has One of These in the Break Room

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

Link of the Day: How a White Guy Joined the Crips

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

On Racial Profiling

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Dyslexic Economy Worst Prequels Speech Pope

Literally an Idiot

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke said that we are printing money, “just not literally”.

Yeah, right. The Treasury’s printing press operators are the only Americans left with full-time jobs.

Obama Warned Us – The Internet

The internet today is an open platform where the demand for websites and services dictates success. You’ve got barriers to entry that are low and equal for all comers. And it’s because the internet is a neutral platform that I can put on this podcast and transmit it over the internet without having to go through some corporate media middleman. I can say what I want without censorship. I don’t have to pay a special charge. But the big telephone and cable companies want to change the internet as we know it. They say they want to create high-speed lanes on the internet and strike exclusive contractual arrangements with internet content-providers for access to those high-speed lanes. Those of us who can’t pony up the cash for these high-speed connections will be relegated to the slow lanes … We can’t have a situation in which the corporate duopoly dictates the future of the internet and that’s why I’m supporting what is called net neutrality.

BARACK OBAMA, podcast, Jun. 8, 2006

“Your internet will run SO much better with the government in charge – just like health care, the Post Office, and the DMV!”

The Title “Lost in Space” Was Taken

Wow, this is trailer for Gravity is pretty intense:

I was thinking, though, if this were a disaster involving a plane, I’d just call the movie a thriller. But since it involves space, I want to call it a science fiction film. Except, I see a space shuttle in the trailer, which would mean this would have to take place in the past and would be historical fiction.

And that’s the sad state of things right now. Space travel used to be the big thing of the future, but currently it’s a thing of the past.

You’ve Been Judged!

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “Obama Plans to Have Hollywood Celebrities Promote Obamacare by…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Incapable of Learning on the Economy

So, have you learned anything from the collapse of Greece or Detroit or from the success of Texas? If you did, well then that’s why you’re not a Nobel-prize winning economist, because Paul Krugman says there is nothing to learn from any of those. Who knew that economics doesn’t use data?

And also on the learning nothing front, Obama gave a speech on economics yesterday which, if you weren’t live in attendance, you could have sworn was a rerun. All these years watching the economy, flounder, and apparently he’s learned absolutely nothing. Krugman must be nodding his bearded chin in approval.

I’m starting to worry about the whole country collapsing in a pile of debt and unemployment, but I guess I shouldn’t get too worried about. It’s not like there will be a test afterwards… since there will be nothing to learn from it.

Straight Line of the Day: The CIA Is Studying How to Control the Weather. Their First Project…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The CIA is studying how to control the weather. Their first project…

Attacking Jimmy Carter

CarterRabbitI’ve met Jimmy Carter. Couple of times, actually. He’s a nice enough fellow, I guess, though I didn’t spend any extended period of time with him. Little meet, shake hands, exchange a word or two, and that was it. So, while I’ve met him, I certainly don’t know him.

Would Jimmy Carter tell a lie? Well, he’s a Democrat politician, so I really don’t need to answer that question for you, right? But, the former president tells Larry J. Sabato that he’s had death threats.

“I have had two or three threats to my life after I came home from the White House,” Carter said in the highly-anticipated book due out October 22.

Yeah, I’m kinda thinking this whole thing is to sell a book.

I don’t want to downplay threats against former presidents, but who would want to harm Jimmy Carter? Sure, I’d like to see him shut the hell up, but that’s not the same thing. I certainly don’t want any harm to come to the man. Not even anything like the harm he did America during his presidency.

And, sure, there are crazy people in this world that will do harm to people for reasons unknown. So, you can’t dismiss any viable threat. But just what are those threats?

Consider this: Jimmy Carter was once attacked by a rabbit back in 1979. Is Mother Nature behind those threats to the former Chief Executive?

Humans are crazy, but often forgiving. And, as deadly as humans can be, we don’t always try to kill our former presidents. I don’t know of anyone who would wish physical harm on Jimmy Carter.

But Mother Nature? She’s mean. She doesn’t care. She’ll kill babies at a rate almost as fast an abortion doctor or other Democrat heroes. Maybe she has put out contracts on Jimmy Carter.

I hope he stays safe. Some rabbits have a vicious streak a mile wide and possess nasty big pointy teeth.

I kinda feel sorry for the Secret Service. Keeping Jimmy Carter, or anyone, safe from Mother Nature isn’t as easy as 1, 2, 5. Maybe if he went to another planet. Maybe Obama’s home planet would be safe for Carter. And maybe Obama would escort him there. I hear the golfing there’s good.

Random Thoughts: Poor Weiner, Royal Baby, and Spying

Just think of poor Anthony Weiner for a minute – the guy has lots of ambition but no useful skills. What can he be other than a politician?

Five years in and there’s still no evidence Obama even knows what a job is.

I like how in Candy Crush it makes me wait to play it again. I need that in more video games.

Can’t we just keep calling him “Royal Baby”?

I don’t care about NSA spying because I don’t have anything to hide… Wait, what things are they spying on again?

I’d vote for Obama if he stole the Royal Baby.

Is there any truth to the rumor that halfway through Obama’s economic speech he got bored and stopped to play Candy Crush on his iPhone?

“When you spy on everybody, you spy on nobody.” -Sun Tzu, probably

You had me at big budget retelling of the 47 ronin story. You lost me at “starring Keanu Reeves.”

It’s universally agreed by historians that no one involved in the 47 ronin incident would be best played by Keanu Reeves.

USA Today headline: “What’s next for baby Prince George?” I’m going to out on a limb here and guess “sleeping, eating, and pooping.”

Welcome to the World of Tomorrow!

An official with AAA said “the days of a national pump price below $3 are probably a thing of the past”.

I’m sure President Obama will implement the obvious solution and order gasoline to be sold by the quart.

[title reference link]