Archive of entries posted on 1st July 2013

Obama Warned Us – Race

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Race is still a powerful force in this country. Any African American candidate, or any Latino candidate, or Asian candidate or woman candidate confronts a higher threshold in establishing himself to the voters … Are some voters not going to vote for me because I’m African American? Those are the same voters who probably wouldn’t vote for me because of my politics.

BARACK OBAMA, Los Angeles Times, Dec. 11, 2006

“Let me be clear: vote for me or you’re a racist.”

I am Joe – Snowden

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I am Joe.

I saw Edward Snowden on the news.  It said he had a stripper girlfriend. But I can not see her because I don’t not have the internets password for the big people.  I can only go to Dora pages.  And NPR.  Sasha said he told the chinamens our secrets.  That was not smart.  I would have traded for chinamen secrets too.  But nanna already knows how to do my laundry good, so maybe we don’t need the ancient chinamen secrets.

Sasha said he told everyone that the NSA is listening to our calls and our e-mails.  I asked her what is the NSA, and she said it was the Naughty Spanking Association.  It was their job to find naughty people and spank them hard with a wooden spoon.  Or a belt.  That is why they are listening to everyones calls to find the naughty people.  You haven’t been naughty, have you?  Oh no!  I have been naughty!  I sended a e-mail to Speaker ‘Boner’ with a coupon for vigra and texted Missus Boss that she was a poopy head because she wouldn’t not let me see the stripper girlfriend or have dessert.  Now I am scared.  I don’t want to be spanked hard with a wooden spoon or a belt. I am going to Dragon Chow’s Super Happy Lucky Buffet to see if they will hide me for more secrets.

I am Joe.

Celebrity Memos

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MEMO

From: Alec Baldwin
To: Paula Deen
Re: Language

Paula! Love your stuff. Gotta say, though, you really stepped in it. That’s gotta hurt when things comes out that you never figured would see the light of day.

Let me offer you some unsolicited advice. Next time some little pissant gets under your skin, say something like “I’m gonna find you, you toxic little queen, and I’m gonna f*** … you … up.” And, for good measure, add “If put my foot up your f***ing a**, but I’m sure you’d dig it too much.”

See? You get the anger out of your system, and nobody says a peep! Well, nobody of any consequence.

Anyway, love your stuff.

Call me.

Alec

PS: What’s in your wallet?

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