…involves Joe Biden in a wig and floral print dress, playing the part of Snowden’s Mom, in a wacky slapstick comedy of misunderstanding and mistaken (and confiscated) identities! Opening this Friday…High Mountain Snowdens! At a theater near you!
STRAIGHT LINE?!?!?YOU DAMN GAYHATING HOMOPHOBES WITH YOUR HATESPEAKING UNFUNNYNESS!!!THAT’S JUST SO NOT FUNNY!!!!NOT NOT NOT!!!AND I KNOW COMEDY!!I WORKED WITH BEN STILLER!!!I WAS ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!!!I DO STAND UP AND MAKE MORE PEOPLE LAUGH THAN YOUR LITTLE GAYHATING FAILING ATTEMPTS AT THE FUNNY!!!!AND SNOWDEN???HE’S A DAMN TRAITOR TO THE COUNTRY AND OUR HISTORIC PRESIDENT, BARACK OBAMA!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!WHY NOT ROUND UP ALL THE GAYS AND SEND THEM TO REHABILITATION CAMPS??BET YOU’D LIKE THAT, HUH???YOU NAZIS!!!UGH!!!
One way or another I’m gonna find ya
I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I’m gonna win ya
I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I’m gonna see ya
I’m gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha
One day, maybe next week
I’m gonna meetcha, I’m gonna meetcha, I’ll meetcha
I will drive past your house
And if the lights are all down
I’ll see who’s around
One way or another I’m gonna find ya
I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I’m gonna win ya
I’ll getcha, I’ll getcha
One way or another I’m gonna see ya
I’m gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha
One day, maybe next week
I’m gonna meetcha, I’ll meetcha
And if the lights are all out
I’ll follow your bus downtown
See who’s hanging out
One way or another I’m gonna lose ya
I’m gonna give you the slip, a slip of the lip or another
I’m gonna lose ya, I’m gonna trick ya, I’ll trick ya
One way or another I’m gonna lose ya
I’m gonna trick ya trick ya trick ya trick ya
One way or another I’m gonna lose ya
I’m gonna give you the slip
I’ll walk down the mall
Stand over by the wall
Where I can see it all
Find out who ya call
Lead you to the supermarket checkout
Some specials and rat food, get lost in the crowd
One way or another I’m gonna getcha, I’ll getcha, I’ll getcha getcha getcha getcha
(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)
One way or another I’m gonna getcha, I’ll getcha, I’ll getcha getcha getcha getcha
(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)
One way or another I’m gonna getcha, I’ll getcha, I’ll getcha getcha getcha getcha
(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)
…has been turned over to a government consultant. While the consultant’s name has not been released, he is rumored to be a “super genius” with access to equipment produced by the Acme Corporation’s secretive “skunk works” division.
…will be another example of his fierce, no holds barred and take no prisoners attitude towards proving his determination not to take any prisoners.
…keeps getting leaked by some guy named Edward Snowden who is number two on the Obama’s enemies list.
…has already resulted in the capture of two bunnies and a squirrel in the White House garden, and believe me, it’s only a matter of time before that traitor wanders by the spinach.
…won’t go into effect unless people finally realize the Obama sex tape Snowden released is in fact a sex tape and not a nature video of a walrus and a stork eating carry out from IHOP.
…involves a billion dollar contract with Orvis.com.
…relies heavily on Snowden making a video that can be blamed on something happening somewhere and then step two has him holed up in a Muslim country and that has to lead to something good, right?
Sending the corpsmen to the far reaches of the empire or checking out those cute giant blue cat-babes that hook their junk into all sorts of weird looking animals. Hey, isn’t that like Australia?
@57 I know she’ll hate it, being the rabid feminist she pretends to be.
Mutley you snickering floppy
eared hound
when courage is needed, you’re
neer around.
Those medals you wear on
your moth-eaten chest
should be there for bungling
at which you are best.
So stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
Howww?
nab him
jab him
tab him
grag him
stop that pigeon now!
You, silly, stop sneaking it’s not
worth the chance
for you’ll be returned by the
seat of your pants
and clunk, you invent me a
thingamybob
that catches that pigeon or
I lose my job
So stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
howww?
nab him
jab him
tab him
grab him
stop that pigeon now!
… is to use reverse psychology. (The downside to this plan is that it requires Obama to swat Biden with a rolled-up captain’s hat like the Skipper hits Gilligan when Biden asks what “ygolohcysp” is.)
…involves a box propped up on one side with a big stick holding it up, with a string tied to it, leading to Biden. Place a national secret under it, and wait.
…involves the Spaniard’s steel, Fezzik’s strength, and the Man in Black’s brain. If only he had a holocaust cloak!
…will require Snowden to hang suspended on a small steel platform over a tank of ill tempered sea bass, and be slowly lowered into the tank. Of course Obama will be elsewhere, because his plans are foolproof, and what could go wrong???
…First he’ll build a female snow woman, dress her is sexy apparel…..”what?? how else would you catch a snowman?? SnowDEN?? like an outside study in winter?? Who the heck is that??? Bushes Fault!! AGHHHHHHH
Well obumer is going convince the media snowden never existed. Already the passport is gone. The citizenship is next. if it has not already happened. Then he will be erased from all the government databases. What difference does it make after all this time. It was Bush’s fault anyway.
He’s going to leave state secrets out on the lawn in hopes Snowdon will zoom by in his Russian Mig and then he can slap the plane out of the sky with his super ears and arrest the whistleblower.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
…very large mousetraps, baited with NSA documents.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
…exists in the same plane of reality where his plans to improve the economy reside.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
…be vewy quiet, he’s hunting twaitors.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
…let just say it involves a large parcel from ACME and leave it at that.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
…a nice dinner, a movie and some smooth talking over drinks.
… involves hope, change, aspiration, audacity, and the like. (And of course, it won’t work. But it’ll make a nice sound bite.)
… will be stored on PRISM, whether he wants it to be or not.
…involves Joe Biden in a wig and floral print dress, playing the part of Snowden’s Mom, in a wacky slapstick comedy of misunderstanding and mistaken (and confiscated) identities! Opening this Friday…High Mountain Snowdens! At a theater near you!
…will be complete after Obama bows to Putin.
…involves sheriff buford t. justice and….oh, you said snowden? i thought you said snowman. never mind
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
involves Joe Biden and the “Pattycake” routine.
STRAIGHT LINE?!?!?YOU DAMN GAYHATING HOMOPHOBES WITH YOUR HATESPEAKING UNFUNNYNESS!!!THAT’S JUST SO NOT FUNNY!!!!NOT NOT NOT!!!AND I KNOW COMEDY!!I WORKED WITH BEN STILLER!!!I WAS ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!!!I DO STAND UP AND MAKE MORE PEOPLE LAUGH THAN YOUR LITTLE GAYHATING FAILING ATTEMPTS AT THE FUNNY!!!!AND SNOWDEN???HE’S A DAMN TRAITOR TO THE COUNTRY AND OUR HISTORIC PRESIDENT, BARACK OBAMA!!!UGH!!!UGH!!!WHY NOT ROUND UP ALL THE GAYS AND SEND THEM TO REHABILITATION CAMPS??BET YOU’D LIKE THAT, HUH???YOU NAZIS!!!UGH!!!
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
First, Obama paints a tunnel on the wall and then runs the center line of a highway to it. After that, he waits. Wile O Bama, super genius.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…Put salt on his tail.
@12 Mind the caps lock darling.
Excellent plan Janeane, excellent plan.
…first, we build a giant badger….
What exactly WOULD you call a camp for gays? Camp WannaMannInMee?
(NTTAWWT)
…involves a magic flute and a stroll to the Volga.
@14 – incorrect verb form there, should it be “…Putin salt on his tail”?
…heat lamps. They’ll melt any Snowman.
…getting Snowden to stand at his front door while he fetches his shotgun.
Stop smiling, generally act like an angsty teenage girl, and feign romantic interest in a werewolf with great abs. Oh, SNOWDEN? Never mind then.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
has been mysteriously labeled “Plan 9”.
…involves a full-sized baby doll made of tar.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
A man, a plan, a canal, Panama!
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
start a land war in Asia.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
One way or another I’m gonna find ya
I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I’m gonna win ya
I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I’m gonna see ya
I’m gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha
One day, maybe next week
I’m gonna meetcha, I’m gonna meetcha, I’ll meetcha
I will drive past your house
And if the lights are all down
I’ll see who’s around
One way or another I’m gonna find ya
I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha
One way or another I’m gonna win ya
I’ll getcha, I’ll getcha
One way or another I’m gonna see ya
I’m gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha
One day, maybe next week
I’m gonna meetcha, I’ll meetcha
And if the lights are all out
I’ll follow your bus downtown
See who’s hanging out
One way or another I’m gonna lose ya
I’m gonna give you the slip, a slip of the lip or another
I’m gonna lose ya, I’m gonna trick ya, I’ll trick ya
One way or another I’m gonna lose ya
I’m gonna trick ya trick ya trick ya trick ya
One way or another I’m gonna lose ya
I’m gonna give you the slip
I’ll walk down the mall
Stand over by the wall
Where I can see it all
Find out who ya call
Lead you to the supermarket checkout
Some specials and rat food, get lost in the crowd
One way or another I’m gonna getcha, I’ll getcha, I’ll getcha getcha getcha getcha
(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)
One way or another I’m gonna getcha, I’ll getcha, I’ll getcha getcha getcha getcha
(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)
One way or another I’m gonna getcha, I’ll getcha, I’ll getcha getcha getcha getcha
(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)
…has been turned over to a government consultant. While the consultant’s name has not been released, he is rumored to be a “super genius” with access to equipment produced by the Acme Corporation’s secretive “skunk works” division.
@12 carpenter, is that you?
…Will utilize both vinegar and honey.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
is to redefine the word “Catch ” to include being free, for diversity’s sake and to not be bigoted.
Is Janeanne channeling George W. Bush?
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
Catch-22, if he’s caught he’ll be free.
…placing an Obamaphone and a welfare check into a loop of rope that’s tied to a bent tree.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
Making a large sized version of the game “Mousetrap”!
…he doesn’t have one…why would he want to catch him? If he’s caught there pretty much no chance of a nice clean drone strike.
…granting him access to Scarlett Johansen’s email and cell phone if he turns himself in.
…free cookies.
…trick question – Obama doesn’t have plans.
…the only plans Obama has involve pushing a Communist agenda and destroying the U.S. Snowden is SO beneath him
…pass an executive order declaring he’s already been caught.
…push gun control, carbon taxes and universal healthcare until he’s caught.
…take another vacation…maybe they’ll run into eachother.
…play some golf.
…threaten to release his internet browser history to his friends and family if he doesn’t turn himself in.
…threaten to subscribe him to Anthony Weiner’s Twitter feed.
…call him a racist.
…pay extra close attention to the news until he finds out what his plan is.
…is to make sure that the efforts are included in his “jobs I created or saved” tally.
…tell the IRS that he is a tea party member, a patriot and might be jewish
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
is in place and he’ll find out from the Media what the plan was and how it all turned out.
. . . was inspired by an evening of watching a DVD of old Rocky and Bullwinkle episodes
My bad. I misread the setup and thought it was Biden’s plan. Carry on….
@40 Sadly it probably will be Biden’s plan.
…will be another example of his fierce, no holds barred and take no prisoners attitude towards proving his determination not to take any prisoners.
…keeps getting leaked by some guy named Edward Snowden who is number two on the Obama’s enemies list.
…has already resulted in the capture of two bunnies and a squirrel in the White House garden, and believe me, it’s only a matter of time before that traitor wanders by the spinach.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
involves some nice coffee and crumb cake followed by some enlightened conversation. What? My bad, I thought you said Klatch.
… tell Peewee Herman that Edward Snowden is hiding his bicycle.
… is to tell Boris and Natasha that he is really Moose.
…won’t go into effect unless people finally realize the Obama sex tape Snowden released is in fact a sex tape and not a nature video of a walrus and a stork eating carry out from IHOP.
…involves a billion dollar contract with Orvis.com.
…relies heavily on Snowden making a video that can be blamed on something happening somewhere and then step two has him holed up in a Muslim country and that has to lead to something good, right?
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
One word, Fatwah.
… is well underway, since “in order to catch a varmint, you have to think like a varmint; and if possible, look like one.”
… is to imprison everyone in the world, and release those who aren’t Snowden.
… is to put Niedermeir on it.
… is to make a worldwide broadcast offering “One MILLION” Kenyan dollars.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
Giving the job to some Mafia Hitmen who have been unemployed since the Kennedy Assassination.
involves Patrick Magoohan and a mysterious balloon-like device called Rover.
plan two involves Patrick Macnee and a 1928 Bentley racing car.
(and of course, Diana Rigg as Emma Peel.)
@26 you sure do like singing to me 🙂
@53 Always at your service.
Thanks for the heads-up fellas.
Sincerely, Ed Snowden
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
…will involve an extravagant taxpayer funded vacation for the Obama clan
@54 but you called Janeane “darling”. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
wil be to round up the A-Team first
…consult with Dick Dastardly and Muttley. They are the foremost experts on catching pigeons.
Sending the corpsmen to the far reaches of the empire or checking out those cute giant blue cat-babes that hook their junk into all sorts of weird looking animals. Hey, isn’t that like Australia?
… is to lump Snowden in with the Benghazi culprits and the IRS profilers — because when he brings THEM to justice, Snowden will be busted, too!
@57 I know she’ll hate it, being the rabid feminist she pretends to be.
Mutley you snickering floppy
eared hound
when courage is needed, you’re
neer around.
Those medals you wear on
your moth-eaten chest
should be there for bungling
at which you are best.
So stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
Howww?
nab him
jab him
tab him
grag him
stop that pigeon now!
You, silly, stop sneaking it’s not
worth the chance
for you’ll be returned by the
seat of your pants
and clunk, you invent me a
thingamybob
that catches that pigeon or
I lose my job
So stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon
howww?
nab him
jab him
tab him
grab him
stop that pigeon now!
… is to use reverse psychology. (The downside to this plan is that it requires Obama to swat Biden with a rolled-up captain’s hat like the Skipper hits Gilligan when Biden asks what “ygolohcysp” is.)
He plans to have Joffrey Stark behead his father or something. He’s still a little fuzzy on the details.
He plans to sneak up on Snowden, and sprinkle salt on his tail.
Be vewy vewy quiet.
Obambi is putting op signs saying
“Snowden Season”.
Obambi will target Snowden with a drone.
President Obama’s plan to catch Edward Snowden…
Offers to show Snowden his birth certificate.
…involves a box propped up on one side with a big stick holding it up, with a string tied to it, leading to Biden. Place a national secret under it, and wait.
…involves the Spaniard’s steel, Fezzik’s strength, and the Man in Black’s brain. If only he had a holocaust cloak!
…will require Snowden to hang suspended on a small steel platform over a tank of ill tempered sea bass, and be slowly lowered into the tank. Of course Obama will be elsewhere, because his plans are foolproof, and what could go wrong???
…First he’ll build a female snow woman, dress her is sexy apparel…..”what?? how else would you catch a snowman?? SnowDEN?? like an outside study in winter?? Who the heck is that??? Bushes Fault!! AGHHHHHHH
…with the obvious failure of PRISM, he plans to unleash CONVEX LENS.
Hay #12, How you’re guy carpenter doin.
Well obumer is going convince the media snowden never existed. Already the passport is gone. The citizenship is next. if it has not already happened. Then he will be erased from all the government databases. What difference does it make after all this time. It was Bush’s fault anyway.
He’s going to leave state secrets out on the lawn in hopes Snowdon will zoom by in his Russian Mig and then he can slap the plane out of the sky with his super ears and arrest the whistleblower.
…keeps backfiring because Biden is always falling for it.
involves putting all of Obama’s hidden personal papers under a large crate propped up by a stick with a rope attached
is oddly similar to his strategy for everything else: whine and complain until everyone is tired of hearing it and gives him his way.
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