[High Praise! to Transterrestrial Musings for pointing out this story]
From Gawker:
Man Hogties Burglar and Leaves Him in Yard for Police, Goes to Work
An Oklahoma man who caught a burglar breaking into his home wasn’t content to simply scare the criminal away; instead, the man bum-rushed the burglar, pinned him to the ground, hogtied him, and left him in the front yard for police to find because the homeowner was late for work.
Yes, there IS a picture at the link above.
I don’t know a darn thing about Tesla’s cars, all I know is that they have the Coolest. Factory. Ever!
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #641,028)
A new poll shows that 85% of Americans are dissatisfied with the government’s handling of the nation’s finances.
I’m guessing the other 15% have never had to balance a checkbook.
[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]
If Anyone Ever Thought Charles Barkley Is Stupid…
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
I don't think I'm better than anyone else. Unless you're really into the royal baby story, then I'm much better than you.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) July 22, 2013
In 1960, the wealthiest metro area in America was Detroit. Today, it's Washington DC. #completelyunrelatedrandomfacts
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) July 22, 2013
I'm on a seaweed diet. I see weed and i report it to the cops immediately. Then I go home and eat a bunch of seaweed
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) July 22, 2013
Drunk Nate Silver running through the halls of the NYT, telling Maureen Dowd she's written the same column for the last eight years
— Brett LoGiurato (@BrettLoGiurato) July 22, 2013
A village somewhere in the third world can expect a plane load of "The Princess of Cambridge" t-shirts tomorrow. #RoyalBaby
— Derek Hunter (@derekahunter) July 22, 2013
Al Qaeda is alive and Detroit is dead.
— SunnyRight (@sunnyright) July 22, 2013
Heh. @AmandaMarcotte's "all babies should be planned" tweets were typed on a device designed by an unplanned child given up for adoption.
— Political Math (@politicalmath) July 22, 2013
.@AmandaMarcotte is deeply concerned about infant mortality, unless of course it's intentional.
— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) July 22, 2013
Apple is planning a new TV service that will allow users to skip commercials.
Not interested. I’ve watched TV. We need a service that’ll let us skip the programming.
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “WWE Wrestling Match Outcomes Were Recently Leaked Online. Also Recently Leaked…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
My belief in terms of moving forward on the ethics legislation is that we’ve got some low-hanging fruit that we should take care of right away. For example, it shouldn’t be tough to say lobbyists can’t buy you a fancy meal.
BARACK OBAMA, Meet the Press, Jan. 22, 2006
“Now, if it’s on the TAXPAYER’S dime – chow down!”
So I just finished Sarah Hoyt’s Darkship Renegades
Right now, though, I’m in the middle of the Jack Handey’s (of SNL “Deep Thoughts” fame) novel The Stench of Honolulu
Favorite line so far: “I had dreams once. Once I wanted to build the world’s longest suspension bridge. But then I found out someone else had already done it.”
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Scientists have discovered the brain’s “misery molecule” which affects stress, anxiety, and depression. They also discovered…
So, that’s pretty crazy; George Zimmerman had disappeared after the verdict and now emerges to rescue a family from a car accident. I saw a lot of heads exploding over this one, because many people need Zimmerman to be a cartoonish monster to fit their simple narratives. If you were to approach the case in a rational manner, it’s pretty easy to see that Zimmerman is not a white-Hispanic Hitler and Trayvon is no saint, but some people are too invested in battles on racial animosity to look at it that way.
You can argue that Zimmerman made a mistake when he followed Trayvon — a mistake that eventually led to Trayvon’s death — but this idea that Zimmerman was malicious and decided to kill Trayvon has no basis in reality (and is why the murder two charges were so ridiculous). By the evidence, Zimmerman never chose to kill Trayvon — that choice was taken out of his hands when Trayvon started bashing his head against the pavement.
But Zimmerman is now an outcast. And he wanders this nation saving people, hoping to atone for the life he took.
Or at least that’s my new show pitch.
I read a story that said that some educator-type person said that white paper is racist. And, no, not the concept of a White Paper, a write-up on handling specific issues or problems, but actual paper. That’s white.
The stuff you put in photocopiers. The stuff that goes into your printer. The stuff that’s in a notebook. The stuff you write on. Actual white paper. Paper that is white in color.
And, no, I’m not making this up. Although, there’s no doubt in my mind that Anne O’Connor, who made the claim, is making it up.
The Telegraph reports what O’Connor is advocating:
Children should be provided with paper other than white to drawn on and paints and crayons should come in “the full range of flesh tones”, reflecting the diversity of the human race, according to the former teacher.
Finally, staff should be prepared to be economical with the truth when asked by pupils what their favourite colour is and, in the interests of good race relations, answer “black” or “brown”.
“Economical with the truth?” Didn’t that used to be called “lying?”
Anyway, the crazy O’Conner woman is trying to dress witches in pink (really) and give children green paper to draw on.
And that kinda sums it all up right there. I go to work every day to get green paper. She wants to use green paper for drawing. And she wants your green paper to pay for it.
Has Obama tried blaming the Detroit bankruptcy on the sequester?
Writing a post-apocalyptic movie about Google going down for a day.
I’m not calling them racist, but I’m guessing the royal couple are going to have a white baby.
One day we’ll have to come to grips with how the election and reelection of Obama was less a triumph over racism than a result of it.
I’m thinking of a new The Incredible Hulk series, but instead it’s outcast George Zimmerman wandering the country saving people.
You can think George Zimmerman made a horrible mistake, but you have to agree that morally he’s a much much better person than Ted Kennedy.
Not having Stand Your Ground is stupid. I should haven’t to take into consideration my attacker’s safety before using self-defense.
Is it really that hard a pill for some people to swallow that George Zimmerman isn’t white Hispanic Hitler?
Wait, the royal family couldn’t get that blood test that would have told them the gender at 12 weeks? That’s nationalized healthcare for ya.
No one cares about princes. There’s no Disney prince line.
So… I’ve been polite so far, but how much longer is this royal baby stuff going to go on?
The royals can’t visit our country, though, because there are still old standing orders to shoot any monarch who sets foot on U.S. soil.
If I’ve learned anything from Game of Thrones, things will not end well for this prince.
Is this Abu Ghraib prison break an important thing? I’m having trouble recognizing actual news stories lately.
So with silly stuff like town criers, the royal family seems more like some contrived reality show than an actual thing.
So as I understand it, a lot of the NYT’s staff just got too upset with Nate Silver constantly walking on their lawn.
So was Bunheads anything like Firefly?
Why are we still talking about Amanda Marcotte? I would think being a big John Edwards booster would be enough to discredit you for life.
Do you know how many Nate Silvers it takes to counteract the stupidity of one Krugman?
Why do people name their kids Mohammed? Don’t they see it’s at the top of the baby name list? Try picking a less common name.
Scientists have developed a “smart diaper” that can monitor your baby’s health when it gets wet.
Official response from Frank J: “Call me when it’s smart enough to change itself.”
