[High Praise! to Commonsense & Wonder]
_______________

This is how they play. Why should this subject be any different than how they discuss other subjects?

“The problem with Public schools is that they are underfunded. Those who disagree are narrow minded.”

“The problem with the Middle East is our lack of understanding of Islam. Those who disagree are narrow minded bigots.”

“The problem with out-of-wedlock children is not enough money for Planned Parenthood. Those who disagree are narrow minded misogynists”

“The problem with crime is our racist prison sentencing policies. Those who disagree are narrow minded racists.”

“The problem with guns is too many people who still believe in the Constitution. Those who disagree are narrow minded “Clingers”

“The problem with the deficit is its too small. Those who disagree are narrow minded tax payers.”
“The problem with our culture is too many people who still expect wholesome family entertainment from Hollywood. Those who disagree are narrow minded religious people.”

“The problem with illegal immigration is too many Americans. Those who disagree are narrow minded Americans.”

“The problem with our foreign affairs is too many people who see the world’s Tyrants as a problem instead of American conservatives. Those who disagree are narrow minded jingoists.”

“The problem with no jobs is not enough Unions. Those who disagree are narrow minded one percenters.”

“And of course, the problem with Global warming is too many people still asking for and wanting evidence that actually shows it. Those who disagree are narrow minded “Flat-earthers”.

It’s just how they roll.
_______________

My man in State has come through again.  He has gotten his hands on a transcript of a cellphone call between John Kerry and President Morsi.  Thank goodness the NSA has been keeping all of this data around for us to benefit from.

KERRY: Hello.

MORSI: What’s up?

KERRY: Nothing much.  What is up with you?

MORSI: Oh, nothing much either.  Just dealing with that freakin’ military coup that you promised me would never happen!

KERRY: Are you sure it is a coup? My sources at the embassy claim it is just a little anger over a Youtube video. Nothing to worry about.

MORSI: Yes, I am certain it is a coup.

KERRY: I’m not sure where you are getting your intel, but I’ve been watching the live video feeds, and I’m pretty sure that most of it is just clips from The Mummy played on a continuous loop. 

MORSI: Allah give me strength! I am looking out my window right now. The crowds thronging the palace are very real. 

KERRY: Are you sure?  You can get movie extras really cheap nowadays.

MORSI: No, these are not movie extras. 

KERRY: I just can’t believe that so many Muslims would be opposed to your very Muslim governing.  Are you sure?  We use paid protestors all of the time.  Otherwise, we just get a few wack jobs showing up at the rallies.  With our high unemployment rates, people are desperate for any paying gigs.  Come to think of it, I’m looking at the feeds again right now, and to me it does indeed look suspicious. Most of those protesters look like a bunch of swarthy Mexicans to me.  I can’t tell them from Paco, my gardener.  I’m pretty sure your opponents just gathered all those folks up from the local Home Depots and trucked them in.

MORSI: OMA!  You know what? Can I just talk to Hillary?

KERRY: What?

MORSI: She pledged American support for my administration, and I am trying to gauge what help, if any, I can expect from you.

KERRY: Well, if I had been in charge then, things wouldn’t be turning out like this. Let me give you some advice.  Here is the John Kerry secret to acquiring and maintaining power.  Find a lonely woman with no self-esteem who is incredibly wealthy and marry her. 

MORSI: WTF?!!

KERRY: No.  It works.  It’s not too late.  Give me a minute.  Teri?  Teri honey?  Are any of your sisters currently single?  No?  Brothers?  That you wouldn’t mind having stoned?  No?  Any single friends?  Really? Just her?  Well, yeah, but you’d never notice that under a burka, though, right?  What’s her number?

MORSI: Never mind. I do not want that infidel’s phone number. That won’t solve my problem.

KERRY: Well, if you won’t take my advice, don’t blame me for the outcomes.  Oh wait, it sounds like you just have a little popularity problem. Let me work some PR magic.

MORSI: Like what?  What PR magic is going to end this coup?

KERRY: You just need some celebrity endorsements.  Let me check my rolodex.  Just a moment here.  Trying to find a non-Jewish celebrity for you, since I know how sensitive you are to that.  Ah, here we go.  How about The Bangles?  I’m sure they are free.  And we could have them throw a concert to raise awareness too.

MORSI: Can I put you on hold for a bit?  I’ve got Putin on the other line. 

Dial tone.

So Weiner is in the race for mayor of New York City, and now Spitzer is running for NYC comptroller. Pretty soon, you’ll be able to vote for an all disgraced weirdo ticket in NYC. I just hope there are no schools or playgrounds near city hall or this could get complicated.

Still, I guess New York City still isn’t to the level of D.C. and its electing a crack mayor, but they seem to be on that trajectory. It’s not all bad, though. The nice thing about Weiner and Spitzer is that most people recognize they are horrible people motivated by nothing more than political ambition. If we elected more people everyone recognize as awful, we’d get in less trouble because then we wouldn’t trust those people and wouldn’t support whatever they tried. But instead, people get gullible enough to think a politician is awesome and enthusiastically support that politician giving him momentum to carry out his awful ideas.

So, I say more blatantly awful people in politics. We should have no more illusions about our politicians than we would the inmates of a maximum security prison — which is probably where most politicians should end up after their term.