Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
… I’d watch football.
-ls
He’d convert ball parks to golf courses.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
he would use the Infield Fly Rule to justify raising ticket prices.
… the new rule would be “55 strikes and you’re out, if you’re half African American.”
…he’d blame the Texas Rangers.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
he would ask ARod not to Bogart that Joint.
… baseball would fail to turn a profit, although there’d be a “perfectly legitimate” tax in place on not attending a baseball game.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
it would go out of business.
he’d balk.
…we’d have authentic hotdogs.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
it would be redefined as basketball.
… he’d be high and outside, most of the time.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
the Senators would be exempt from most baseball rules.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
it would begin to look like Detroit. The city, not the Tigers,
. . . he’d punish them with a child.
. . . he would carefully consider if any of the players could have been him, or his child, or a composite of his past relationships.
…The Star Spangled Banner would be replaced with The Internationale.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
he would mandate that teams take turns being WS Champions.
…he would invite the nine players to the White House for a choom summit.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
players not placed on the DL must pay a “health tax”.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
he would punish all ballplayers for being 1%ers.
…the Black Sox scandal would be “Racist!”
….then a 9 person panel of NO NOT A DEATH PANEL. NO ONE SAID DEATH PANEL. SHUT UP ABOUT DEATH PANELS TEE BAGGER RAAAAACIST! Where was I? Oh yeah, I mean a 9 person committee of highly trained organizing for America interns will decide if the drugs should be covered, or if they should be taxed depending on if the player that used them appears in the “Friend” column of the NSA database or the “Foe” column of the NSA database.
Wait a sec…are you saying he’s NOT in charge? Raaaaaaacisssst!!!!
…there would be crying in baseball.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
he would sing!
Barry Hussein was base ball mad.
Had the fever and had it bad;
Just to root for the home town crew,
Ev’ry sou Barry blew.
On a Saturday, his young doe
Called to see if he’d like to go,
To see a show but Mr Barry said,
“No, I’ll tell you what you can do.”
“Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd.
Confiscate some peanuts and cracker jack,
I don’t care if they ever get paid back,
Let me root, root, root for the home list,
If they don’t win it’s racist.
For it’s one, two, three strikes, you’re out,
At the old ball game.”
Barry Hussein saw all the games,
Knew the players by their first names;
Told the umpire he was wrong,
All along good and strong.
When the score was just two to two,
Barry Husein knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys he knew,
he made the gang sing this song:
“Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd.
Confiscate some peanuts and cracker jack,
I don’t care if I they ever get paid back,
Let me root, root, root for the home list,
If they don’t win it’s racist.
For it’s one, two, three strikes, you’re out,
At the old ball game.”
…all they’d have to do to avoid punishment is to make a sizable donation to the Obama for Commissioner campaign fund.
…the drug tests screening process would only involve searching the players facebook or twitter pages for Tea Party or Constitution references and flagging them for suspension.
MLB Commissioner Bud Selig Wants to Punish 9 Players for Drug Use. If Obama Were in Charge of Baseball…
he would issue a waiver to all MLBPA union members.
MLB Commmissioner Bud Selig wants to punish 9 players for drug use. If Obama were in charge of baseball…
… we would have a national conversation on confiscating bats in the US while supplying crates and crates of them to shady teams from Mexico. Then, when an umpire is beaten to death with one of the illegally supplied bats, he would proclaim it to be a phony scandal, call you a racist, and go play golf.
… all players would be required to pay a “Health Tax” which costs more than 25% of the players make, doesn’t cover sports-related injuries, and will involuntarily retire any player over the age of 40.
… all players of sufficiently dark pigmentation would not only be allowed to take steroids but would be supplied them for free – paid for by the white players. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson would still complain because Babe Ruth is considered the greatest hitter of all time and ask for the fences to be moved in to the infield for any player being given the steroids. This arrangement would not be racist in any way.
. . . there would be a “statistical tax” on all players with batting averages or ERAs in the top 10%.
. . . we would be required to sing “The Internationale”, rather “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the seventh-inning stretch.
…rule changes would include:
– any team up 7 runs must give 4 to the other team
– runners no longer steal bases, bases are a civil right and should be available to anyone
– pinch hitters must be union
– foul balls are considered in play if the batter is an African-American
– ticket prices will be raised 450% to cover the cost of free tickets for union members, Democrats, and welfare recipients
– it will now be known as the seventh inning Bogart
… John Kerry, as now, would be in charge of concessions.
…meetings with Biden would always end up like an Abbott and Costello routine.
…all drug related suspensions will result in automatic Hall of Fame induction if the drugs are shared with obama
…all white-hispanic players will be beaten severely, just because
…eric holder will arrest casey for batting cause he’s a cracker
…he would have no clue what tinkers-to-evers-to-chance means. but it must be racist
.
MLB Commissioner Bud Selig Wants to Punish 9 Players for Drug Use. If Obama Were in Charge of Baseball…
Bill Clinton would be allowed to practice the hidden ball trick, again.
MLB Commissioner Bud Selig Wants to Punish 9 Players for Drug Use. If Obama Were in Charge of Baseball…
he would have to wait for the Sporting News to come out to find out what’s going on.
MLB Commissioner Bud Selig Wants to Punish 9 Players for Drug Use. If Obama Were in Charge of Baseball…
it would be Deja Vu all over again.
MLB Commissioner Bud Selig Wants to Punish 9 Players for Drug Use. If Obama Were in Charge of Baseball…
Managers would get fired like unwanted Libyan Ambassadors.
MLB Commissioner Bud Selig Wants to Punish 9 Players for Drug Use. If Obama Were in Charge of Baseball…
they would be promoted to committees that oversee drug use in Sports, and given free healthcare.
…the Mendoza line would be .000, just like his.
…he would have bragged about Trayvon’s slugging pct., complained that people that look like him should not have to wear chest protectors.
…it would be OK to steal home, but only from unfair lending corporations.
…from now on, pitchers wear the Michael Jackson glove and rookies would always get to third base.
…John Kerry, sports fan, would say he was a cinch to win the Triple Crown.
…the outfield walls would be torn down so millions of Mexican groundskeepers could get to work.
… grant them a fund to pay for it, and ban those who did not imbibe.
…there would be no more suspicion for driving in runs while black.
…Anthony Weiner would have just been bunting.
…he would be more than a little disappointed after demoting himself to the minor leagues.
…Chris Matthews would admit to corking his bat and using too much pine tar.
…taking reverse discrimination a step further, white players now run the bases third to second to first and the better they perform the worse their team does.
…any openly gay player who misses his cutoff man can hook up with him behind the dugout.
He would promise players that “if you like your current team, you can keep it”. Then he’d get rid of your team.
He would ask Bud Selig if it was true, how he got his first name. If he ever coked his bat.
DC is on fire!
MLB Commissioner Bud Selig Wants to Punish 9 Players for Drug Use. If Obama Were in Charge of Baseball… he would unilaterally change the rules to resemble cricket!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cricket_in_Kenya
…the divisions would be renamed the “globalist league” and the “world league”.
…eric holder would be tasked with running “fastballs and furious fans”.
…the cubs would immediately have the biggest payroll in baseball, due to the stimulus dollars they were allocated.
…the MLB pension fund would mysteriously dwindle and become severely underfunded, while a superpac named “Many Liberal Blacks” would simultaneously employ his highness for multiple $500,000 speaking gigs.
…there would be a number of new czar positions created to oversee things that don’t exist:
– football acquisition czar.
– tee box security czar.
– referee training czar.
– 3 point shooting equality czar.
they would all be staffed by minorities and women making $300,000 per year who look indignant any time their necessity is questioned.
…the irs would be tapped to oversee pitching coaches, ultimately resulting in pitchers being replaced with pitching machines costing $40 million a piece.
We would be singing “March of the Volunteers” during the seventh inning stretch.
… baseball players and their bats would show up at every Tea Party meeting, town hall, and polling place. DeNiro as Capone in “The Untouchables” would be a training video.
Three drone strikes and you’re out.
…the pitchers mound would have a wheelchair ramp.
…the pitchers mound would have a wheelchair ramp.
…four balls gets you to first base. And married.
…Hillary’s three chins would be a ground rule double if she keeps her mouth shut.
…some guys would play the games and he would read about it in the newspaper. Got it?
…9 players would be rewarded. All the rest would be punished.
He’d draft them all for his team, “The Washington Choom.”
…he would get the media to start a campaign about how the players using to drugs are “born that way”, and how we should accept them for who they are. Shortly to follow, drug user pride parades, drug rights campaigns, and forcing teh policies of drug users down everyone else’s throats.
The white guyswould be charged with hate crimes and thee black guys would be put in charge of a government commission.
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