If You Can’t Deep Fry It, It Ain’t Food

[High Praise! to Very Demotivational]

Yeah, I know – bacon’s not on the list.

We need to find this vendor and drop a note in his suggestion box (assuming it’s not immersed in a vat of boiling oil).

The Ride of Your Life

I suppose “Apollo 13” made the ride up to space seem a little more “interesting” with it’s editing, CGI, and sound effects, but the gut-wrenching, visceral reality of watching the trip through the eyes and ears of the space-shuttle rocket-booster-camera makes you feel it in your marrow.


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #3,682,793)

If you’ve ever wondered why John Glenn wanted to go back into space at the age of 77, now you know.

This is the sort of experience that burrows its way into a man’s soul.

Detroit – It Just Got Worse

A 20-year veteran Detroit cop was arrested for committing armed robbery while in uniform.

Unbelievable…. Detroit still has valuables to steal?

How to Update Your Old Obama Bumper Sticker

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

DISCLAIMER: We at IMAO do not condone vandalism of other people’s property.

Doesn’t mean we don’t understand.

Link of the Day: LOLTerizt! Is Back

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

IMAO may have put lolterizt! on indefinite hiatus, but Arik resurrected it (for at least one edition).

Lolterizt Redux

Don’t know if there’ll be a second edition. Maybe if you nag him about it in the comments there and tell him to provide an email address for reader submissions…

BONUS LINK [High Praise! to Laughing Conservative]

If Obama Had a Rap Song

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Smell Embassies Millennials

Fighting Back Against Tyranny

In China, airline passengers are becoming violent in response to long delays at airports.

In America, it’s more passive-aggressive, like not wearing Odor-Eaters when going through security.

Making Fun of One’s Self

I like practical applications of humor, so I thought this new music video from Mumford and Sons was pretty neat.

I don’t know much about them as I’m not really “hip” or “with it” on the current music scene, but I know they’re popular and also have a lot of backlash with people calling them overrated and making fun of them. But it’s pretty much impossible to watch this video and not like them somewhat. I mean, they got Ed Helms, Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, and Will Forte all to pretend to be them and basically make fun of them for a whole video. So if you hate Mumford and Sons, you want to laugh watching this. But Mumford and Sons released the video themselves, so you can’t use this video to laugh at them without also laughing with them — and, of course, laughing with someone causes you to like that person somewhat. So it’s a video that makes it almost impossible to hate them.

Interesting.

You’ve Been Judged!

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to A New Study Links an Increase in Violence to Climate Change. Also Linked to Climate Change…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Obama Warned Us – Government

I trust the American people to realize that while we don’t need big government, we do need a government that stands up for families who are being tricked out of their homes by Wall Street predators; a government that stands up for the middle-class by giving them a tax break; a government that ensures that no American will ever lose their life savings just because their child gets sick.

BARACK OBAMA
, speech, May 6, 2008

“The American people want a government that can do everything for them. I want a government than can do anything to them. I think we’re on the same page, here.”

Joke Machine

Scientists are working on computer programs to create jokes. That would be so awesome if they perfect that because then I could fully automate this blog.

Of course, some people think that Harvey may already be a computer program…

Straight Line of the Day: From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to Make Government smarter, more efficient, and more innovative.” Ways like…

[High Praise! to Seanmahair for the suggestion]

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

From Obama’s Twitter: “#SmarterGov: Ways to make government smarter, more efficient and more innovative”. Ways like…

Why Act Like It’s Possible for NBC and CNN to Not Be Awful?

So the RNC issued an ultimatum to CNN and NBC that if they go through with their Hillary movies, they won’t get to host any Republican presidential debates. I wish the ultimatum was more like: “If you have your stupid Hillary movie, you won’t get to host a debate. Also, if you cancel your Hillary movie, you won’t get to host a debate. Because you are awful.”

I mean, you remember some of those debates? They were questions Democrats would ask Republicans but nothing resembling questions Republican voters cared about. Those networks are just awful, and it’s high past time pretending they aren’t awful. They should say we will never go on your stupid, left-wing moron networks ever again because you guys are idiots with no basis reality to understand the issues from a…

Oh, better idea. Agree to debates on those networks anyway. But when the debate starts, the Republican candidates just rush the hosts and beat them up. That will teach the networks an even better lesson than not letting them have a debate at all. Wham! Hippie punch!

I’m such a genius; I really should be running the RNC. How much does that pay?

The college ranking are out!

PartySchoolIt’s that time of year. The college rankings are out! And the number one team is … The University of Iowa.

Wait. What?

You thought I was talking about college football, didn’t you? Nope.

The Princeton Review’s annual rankings of the top party schools is out, and the Iowa City school holds the top spot.

The top five?

  1. University of Iowa, Iowa City, Iowa
  2. University of California, Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara, Calif.
  3. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, Urbana, Ill.
  4. West Virginia University, Morgantown W. Va.
  5. Syracuse University, Syracuse, N.Y.

You can read the entire list here.

I noticed that the University of Georgia didn’t make the top ten. They were ranked number one in 2010, but fell to number two in 2011, and to number five last year. They come in at number 11 this year.

The fact that UGA has dropped as a party school since my daughter left Athens is simply a coincidence.

I think.

I hope.

I don’t want to talk about this any more.

Random Thoughts: Left-Handed, Newspapers, and Mr. Who

We have to stop Obamacare before it’s implemented and people are blown away by its sheer awesomeness!

He’s not even 3 months old so it’s early to tell, but I’m starting to worry my son is left-handed.

I never even considered the possibility of a left-handed kid; that’s not something I’m prepared for as a parent.

I hope whoever came up with sprinkling salt on sweet things got the Nobel Prize in chemistry.

Are newspapers making a comeback? I used to make fun of them until I found they pay better than the internets.

I was just informed newspapers are not making a comeback.

So now do I get the Washington Post free as an Amazon Prime member? Because I’m not sure I want that.

If I owned a newspaper, headline every day would be: “Frank J. Fleming is awesome!”

If you’re worried about journalistic standards, I can prove I’m awesome.

The thing about fines is it’s more a threat to poor than rich. Minor crimes should have a class neutral punishment, like a beating.

So with the new Dr. Who will they finally show some back story so we can see Mr. Who go to medical school and get his PhD?