Instead of "Goodbye", I always say, "Smell ya later!" so when people wake up to me smelling them in bed, I can whisper, "I warned you…"

— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) August 5, 2013

We're keeping embassies closed as a reminder of how fearful life was under Bush.

— Anthony Bialy (@AnthonyBialy) August 5, 2013

"Millennials have a finely tuned BS filter & voted largely for Obama" Hmm. Only 1 of these things can be true.

— Political Math (@politicalmath) August 5, 2013