[High Praise! to Awkward Engineer]
This four piece placemat set contains detailed engineering drawings with directions for assembling your favorite foods.
* Heavy duty placemats, .031″ thick
* 11″x17″ with rounded corners
* Includes assembly diagrams for: Peanut Butter & Jelly, Banana Split, Ants on a Log, and S’mores
I always forget if the jelly goes on the top or bottom.
@1 Dodsfall
books have been written on the subject. you always want:
http://www.amazon.com/Jelly-Side-Up-Mary-Pryor/dp/1887587012
@2 – She’s wrong, of course.
The jelly should be on the top slice of bread.
If it’s on the bottom, gravity will pull the jelly into the bread, making it soggy.
If on top, though, some of the problem remains due to capillary action, so the optimal solution is a very thin layer of peanut butter on both sides, but this solution is not always practical if there are time constraints on the sandwich construction project.
Another solution is a pre-mixed peanut butter and jelly slurry, which then need only be spread on one slice of bread, thus saving time. However the mixture looks like mud and presents certain aesthetic difficulties.
@3 no real man uses pre-mixed PB&J
a closer reading of the scholarly work will show jelly on both sides. although i must admit that she seems to be a theoretician rather than an experimentalist.
I suspect these placemats were actually designed by DHHS for welfare hosers who were too cool for school, and therefore have no common sense or problem solving skills. The only problem with that is that the parasites probably don’t know how to read, and cannot figure out what to do from the detail drawings. Besides, if the government doesn’t do it for them, they’re helpless, so how could we possibly expect them to pour urine out of a boot, much less build their own PB&J sandwich?
See, I avoid the jelly soaking into the bread by adding a protective layer of butter first. Problem Solved
@6 – I think you’re going off-manual, here. We’re not talking about peanut butter and jelly and BUTTER sandwiches.
I don’t think your sort of make-it-up-as-you-go-along anarchy has any place in a civilized society, sir!
PBJB, indeed!
This sort of nonsense is what toppled the Romans, you know…
@6 yeah, what Harvey said.
psst Harvey, what about peanut butter and bacon?
http://www.food.com/recipe/peanut-butter-and-bacon-sandwich-74475
Look
(vide)
How did we get involved in this?
— The Romans
@9
that would take volumes to explain
– Edward Gibbon