Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Republicans are proposing a new immigration bill. Democrats are objecting to it because…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Republicans are proposing a new immigration bill. Democrats are objecting to it because…
… none of them are financially making out like bandits as a result.
… Republicans are proposing it – what more need be said?
… because Republicans are the Party Of No. (No, wait…)
…it is demeaning and insulting to immigrants.
…it is loaded with micro-aggressions and “trigger” language.
…it threatens to take away a major campaign issue.
…it makes the Democrats look like Conservatives
. . . it doesn’t pay immigrants to come here
. . . it will actually be published and read before it is passed
…..it includes white people.
… it doesn’t go far enough in getting the GOP to alienate their own base.
Republicans Are Proposing a New Immigration Bill. Democrats Are Objecting to It Because…
it isn’t a complete surrender of US sovereignty.
it doesn’t create enough Democratic voters.
What, no free healthcare for everyone?
… at this point, opposition is just reflexive.
… they’re playing reverse-psychology with the “if the Democrats are against it, I’m for it!” crowd.
(This is probably actually true, rather than being a punchline.)
… Reid won’t let it come to the floor unless it includes a clause blaming the Koch Brothers for something.
…that’s what democrats do.
… they’re holding out for cookies.
Republicans Are Proposing a New Immigration Bill. Democrats Are Objecting to It Because…
…shakes Magic 8 Ball…
. . . it doesn’t define American citizenship as a fundamental human right, with enforcement powers given to the UN.
…because reasons. Shut up. We don’t have to explain ourselves to you rabble!
…it doesn’t come with automatic registration in the Democrat party.
… they were still recovering from their Cinco de Mayo cultural approbations and couldn’t stagger to the floor to vote.
… there was no version of the bill text in Spanish.
…it doesn’t create Alta California quickly enough.
Republicans are proposing a new immigration bill. Democrats are objecting to it because… Boooooossssshhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Republicans are proposing a new immigration bill. Democrats are objecting to it because…because the debate is settled and Democrats are the smirtist people around. A recent survey said so.
…their counter-proposal is to make everyone on the planet a U.S. citizen and immediately extend to them every hand-out program.
…the bill doesn’t explicitly eliminate the Republican Party from every election after it passes, it only does so in a practical sense.
…only Barack should be allowed to draw a red line in the sand!
…it does not redraw the borders of Ukraine.
…it does not grant complete control of Tel Aviv to Suha Arafat.
… the Republicans are still requiring they pass the Citizenship Test in English.
…it’s sponsored by “Speedy Gonzales” and “That dog down at the Taco Bell”.
…they all thought Mexico was a state already.
…Sean Penn is still filming The Wild Bunch vs The Magnificent Seven and needs us to hate poor Mexicans until it goes to DVD.
…the Spanish translation eliminated all the gendered words, at the Democrats insistence, so it reads like typical Democrat gibberish.
…,at this point, what difference does it make?
…they don’t have to pass it to see what’s in it.
…they’ll have to pay their nannys minimum wage.
They haven’t figured out how to blame Bush for it.
…it involves building a giant wooden badger.
…Republicans are “Islamo-homophobic-racist war-on-women stuck into binders by Rush Limbaugh on Fox News.” (Thanks, Andrew Klavan.)
it requires an iq test and a score greater than 44 for admittance
…the phrase “If you like living in the US, you can keep living in the US” sounds eerily familiar.