And upon hearing that the Redskins had lost their trademark, the grad student wept. For he had no more worlds to conquer.
— T. Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) June 18, 2014
"Please be patient" ~ A Russian doctor asking someone to get sick
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) June 18, 2014
The Washington Redskins lost the trademark on their team name. Great. Now EVERY team's going to want it.
— CC:Indecision (@indecision) June 18, 2014
How many licks of ice cream does it take to get to the center of a clinical depression?
— Viktor Winetrout, Jr (@Cpin42) June 18, 2014
OXFORD COMMA! IN THESE TOUGH ECONOMIC TIMES! MOST PEOPLE PREFER UNIVERSITY OF PHOENIX COMMA!
— DRUNK HULK (@DRUNKHULK) June 18, 2014
I own a gun so if a robber breaks into my home and steals my stuff I can shoot all my stuff and break it so the robber can't enjoy any of it
— slick (@FanofHell) June 18, 2014
the first rule of fight club is google ron paul
— Churlish (@Cryptoterra) June 18, 2014
they should replace "WARNING: HIGH VOLTAGE" signs with "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU!" signs
— Brian Lee (@LRcomic) June 18, 2014

“the first rule of fight club is google ron paul”
Correction: “The first rule of ‘fight club’ is Google RuPaul.”