Archive of entries posted on 11th June 2014

Noxious Emissions

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[A guest post from PC Mike]

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PC Mike would like to commend the prestigious scientific publications that have recently adopted a more open-minded policy of prohibiting climate deniers from expressing their opinions. We believe all news media should adopt this policy, voluntarily if possible. But there is much more to be done.

First, newspapers must follow the scientific consensus. After decades of global warming it is intolerable to print weather forecasts showing the recent unacceptably low temperatures. All weather reports must add the documented average increase of several degrees to every temperature. Of course it will be necessary to confiscate all thermometers to avoid confusing the public with facts, but these dangerous instruments should not be in private hands anyway.

Furthermore, deniers should not be allowed to display their contempt for Science! by flaunting their unnecessary winter clothing. Wearing of coats will henceforth be prohibited, and all obsolete seasonal equipment including skis, snowshoes, tire chains, etc. will be forbidden by law. A small fine will be imposed for the wearing of long sleeves, but jail time may be necessary for heavy coats. Cities will save millions on snow removal and the public will enjoy mandatory year round use of swimming facilities, pools, and beaches.

President Obama has recently directed the EPA to mandate a 30% reduction in coal fired CO2 emissions. This will fulfill his campaign promise to cause the price of electricity to skyrocket, and it will have the propitious side effect of destroying the coal industry, thereby protecting workers from thousands of dirty, dangerous jobs. But even this fails to address the core of the emissions problem.

The Supreme Court has recognized CO2 as a pollutant. Science! tells us that roughly 80% of atmospheric CO2 comes not from burning fossil fuels, but from animal respiration. Unfortunately it isn’t practical to share the sacrifice by making everyone cut out 3 in 10 breaths, but fortunately there is a still a fair, voluntary solution. Statistically, about 30 percent of the U.S. population is appropriately concerned about the deadly effects of global warming. If this 30 percent were to stop breathing entirely the problem would be solved!

Climate supporters have said, “The right to free speech does not include the right to endanger the public.” Exactly correct. Nor does the right to life include the right to pollute the atmosphere by exhaling CO2.

Sincerely,
PC Mike

Wisdom of the Day: War Check Problems Boat Hagel DSM

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Random Thoughts: Equal Pay, Guns, and Hagel

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I have a fix for inequality; it’s called the whine tax. If you whine, you get taxed a thousand dollars.

I hope President Hillary only nukes bad people.

I’ll probably finally get a WiiU when the next Legend of Zelda comes out.

Women need men’s help getting equal pay? Come on, gals; learn to negotiate.

If you’re a woman falling for the president’s equal pay nonsense, you are not equal. You are stupid. That’s why you’re earning less.

I tell you the hard truths because I care. Or because I don’t care. One of those.

So guns were invented centuries ago, weren’t even regulated at all until beginning of last century, but are cause of school shooting now?

More correlation between rise of teachers unions and school shootings than anything about guns. Blaming that slightly more logical.

I mean, if we’re going to look at this logically. Which we’re not.

Boko Haram kidnapped more girls in Nigeria? Didn’t they see the president’s hashtag?

Try and deal logically with people who thought a “Gun Free Zone” sign would stop shootings at a school.

On the rules for getting a book signed by Hillary Clinton, why did they put “don’t make eye contact” twice?

I thought Assassin’s Creed IV got boring anytime you were on land, so I have no interest in the new one.

So how much are you getting paid to read the Hillary book?

Hillary Clinton married her way into being a feminist icon.

We should really start a plan to get America back on track for 2024 after the Hillary presidency.

So what is the realistic plan to keep crazy people from getting one of the 300 million guns in this country?

When I see the term “Neo-Nazi” I think of Neo from the Matrix dodging bullets while doing a Nazi salute. Stop dodging those bullets, Nazi!

The problems with confiscating guns is that the people you’d be taking guns from have guns.

I think item number one here illustrates why the majority doesn’t take gun control proponents seriously anymore.

So 1000s of gun deaths a year and horrific school shootings, and 1st idea is go after open carry at Chipotle responsible for 0 deaths per year.

This has long been the case where they propose gun control ideas that wouldn’t even stop the shooting that spawned the gun control craze.

Like proposing universal background checks following a shooting where the guns were stolen. Are they actually trying to stop gun deaths?

For the record, I don’t get why you’d want to open carry into Chipotle. But if you want to stop gun deaths, not the thing to go after.

“My dad said he was going out to get a vape refill and then we never saw him again.”

Obama: “You keep calling the Affordable Care Act ‘Obamacare,’ but it was really Chuck Hagel who came up with it.”

So apparently the brick walkway that served no purpose is actually there to hide the valve box, which it did a great job of.

Good job hiding the valve box, brick walkway. Dug up the whole yard trying to find it.

More like “Can’t”or. #PoliticalHumor

Come on. “Can’t”or. Get it? Because he couldn’t. He couldn’t win the primary. Yes, I guess that is already his name.

Saying we shouldn’t have guns in America is a like saying Europeans shouldn’t have taken the land from the natives. Little late on opinion.

If your gun policy doesn’t start with the assumption criminals will obtain guns no matter what, then it’s pointless.

Anyway, shout with impotent rage at guns and the NRA and then watch as nothing happens because there is no substance behind your anger.

So are people who support gun free zones that work on the honor system ever going to admit they have blood on their hands?