I was interested in that story, but not "willing to sit through a video ad" interested.
— Political Math (@politicalmath) June 19, 2014
Rattles are fun on babies but terrifying on snakes. Same thing with hats too, for some reason.
— T-O-M (@TomItUp) June 19, 2014
"My dad is smarter than yours"
Yeah well my dad could beat up your dad
"My dad has a bigger beard than your dad"
Lets leave moms out of this
— dan mentos (@NonCombosMentos) June 19, 2014
permission to launch free t-shirts at the jury, your honor
— chuuch (@ch000ch) June 19, 2014
Doctor: Well, it looks like you have something called "muscular Disco Feet". That's pretty cool!
Me: Did you mean, 'muscular dystrophy'?
— Idaho Jones (@aka_fatman) June 19, 2014
Don't bring a fight to a gun & knife show.
— єaяƒ ʕ•̮͡•ʔ dæ (@earfdae) June 19, 2014