Straight Line of the Day: If You Think You Have Ebola, the First Thing You Should Do Is…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

If you think you have Ebola, the first thing you should do is…

32 Comments

  1. …die. In an African country if you are American, here if you are a foreigner.

    …add meth addiction to your bucket list.

    …tell Sting that tantric sex is no longer an option.

    …ask fellow passengers what they are using to treat their flu like syptoms.

  2. If you think you have Ebola, the first thing you should do is go to the closest airport, lie about it and come to Obamastan where everything is freeeeeeee! Then spit, $hit and puke your way across the country because in Obamastan, we celebrate diverrrsity and your right as an invader to spread your filthy 3rd world diseases wherever you go. Remember, from each according to his ability!
    Oh yeah, don’t forget to call a lawyer before you die because we all know that your death wasn’t caused by your filthy 3rd world disease, it was caused by evil racist rich white people.

  3. … follow Monty Python’s advice:

    “First of all become a doctor and discover a marvelous cure for [Ebola], and then, when the medical world really starts to take notice of you, you can jolly well tell them what to do and make sure they get everything right so there’ll never be diseases any more.”

    Alan: “Thanks Jackie, that was great.”

    Noel: “‘Fantastic.”

  4. If you think you have Ebola, the first thing you should do is…

    …take a look at that bucket-list you started a while back.

    …throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care.

    If you have Obamacare coverage those are about the only two options you really have.

  5. …send in your Democrat voter registration….voter records prove that registering Democrat can extend your life by 10-20 years. I mean…you know…if you’re voting you must be alive, right?

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