(somewhere secret in the desert)

Corporate Activities Imam: I know we are all very excited, and we’ve all been waiting for this day for a long time, so I’ll keep this intro very brief. Welcome to the first annual ISIS Jobs Fun Fair. We were overwhelmed by the level of response we have received, and there are plenty of booths and activities for everyone from the hard core Jihadist to the sympathetic widows and orphans. Everything will be running until evening prayers, so enjoy and have at it.

Ali: Hey, looks like they have a cake walk.

Ahmed: Is that real yellow cake?

Ali: Looks like it. Authentic Nigerian.

Habib: Hey, they have a Barbie booth. We just have to check that out.

Galid: I am confused. I thought Barbie’s were a symbol of the whore of the Great Satan.

Habib: Well, uh, I, uh just wanted to crush them beneath the heel of my boot, Allah willing.

Barbie Sales Imam: Not these Barbies. These Barbies are especially designed by non-Jews to teach our little girls their role in society all while having fun. Feast your eyes on Burka Barbie.

Galid: I am confused. That Barbie is covered from head to toe. There is nothing upon which to feast your eyes… Oh, I get it.

Barbie Sales Imam: Exactly. And unlike the Barbies of the Great Satan, these ones are economical. There are no accessories that go with it. No Barbie Jeep or Barbie books or Barbie clothes because, well, why? Girls have no need of such things. There is only the Burka Barbie Dreamcave.

Habib: But what are these burly looking boy dolls?

Barbie Sales Imam: Those are the Ken dolls?   What would Barbie be without Ken? We have the Honor Killing Ken. Comes with the machete.

Habib: Wow, that’s really sharp!

Barbie Sales Imam: And Husband Ken with a beating stick. And Rapist Ken and Imam Ken and Refugee Ken and Sleeper Cell Ken and Mujahideen Ken.

Galid (picks up a Burka Barbie and struggles to find a way to get a peek underneath the burka)

Habib: What is this one with the coif and the impeccable fashion sense?

Barbie Sales Imam: Oh, that is Homo Ken. It comes with either a crane to hang it from or a little wall to topple over on him.

Habib: Would it be possible, Allah willing, to get the Homo Ken with a burka?

Barbie Sales Imam: What?  Why?

Habib: Uh, um… to sneak past that wiley TSA, of course.

Galid (manages to get the burka off Burka Barbie): I am confused. This Burka Barbie still has a clitoris.

Ahmed: What? Let me see that! What are you trying to pull here?

Habib: What are you trying to teach the children?

Ahmed: Stone him!

Habib: Stone him!

Barbie Sales Imam: No, no. It is not a clitoris. It is not. It is a remnant of the manufacturing process. It is a mark left when it is detached from the mold.

Ahmed: Allah spits upon your mold!

Habib: Stone him!

Barbie Sales Imam: No. Look, look. If you just use the machete of Honor Killing Ken, you can remove the mark. It’s all part of the fun.

Galid: Wait. I am confused. Mold? So Burka Barbie has a yeast infection? Are you a Jew trying to infect us with filthy yeast?

Ahmed: Death to mold!

Ali: Death to yeast!

Barbie Sales Imam: No, no, no. I’m talking about the mold used to make the doll. And yeast isn’t mold anyway. It is fungi.

Habib: Fun guy, huh? Do you have any more of this yeast, by the way?  Or do you have a Fun Guy Ken to go with Homo Ken?

Galid: I am confused. Why do you know of these molds and fungi? Why would a Barbie sales imam be so well versed in the bioweapons of the Jews?

Ahmed: Stone him! Stone him!

Habib: Death to the Jews!

Ali: Death to the Jews!

(they stone him mercilessly)

Ali: Hey, he still has some of those Trump Action Figures. Remember these? (pulls string)

Ahmed: Allah curse you for a fool! Don’t you remember that those were bombs? (grabs the action figure and hurls it into a crowd of women and children)

Trump Action Figure: Doesn’t my daughter make your loins burn? (explodes)

Ahmed: Allah be praised, but that was close.

(to be continued, maybe if I feel like it)