Medical professionals report an upward trend of smartphone-related injuries like “Text Neck” and “Blackberry Thumb”.

Lovely… we’ve gone from a nation that defeated Nazis to one that gets its butt kicked by a pocket narcissism machine.

A new study shows that “global warming” has made weather better for most people in the USA.

So if you suffered a sunburn, you’re an oppressed minority. Government assistance jackpot!

President Obama is planning to change the $5, $10 and $20 bills.

Sounds great… is he going to make them worth something again?