Straight Line of the Day: To Increase White House Security, President Obama Ordered…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

To increase White House security, President Obama ordered…

18 Comments

  1. …cameras mounted on his ears to cover the roving blind spots.

    …from now on it’s hookers OR blow when on duty.

    …he will be personally responsible for inspecting the posteriors of all 16 year old Brazilian girls.

    …the clowns guarding the fences to wear scarier makeup.

    …twenty gun shotgun salutes every half hour.

  2. To increase White House security, President Obama ordered…

    …more bullets for the EPA.

    …choom for the gang.

    …that a 44 dollar bill be created in honor of himself.

    …more bowing.

  3. …a bunch of masonry blocks stacked in such a way to completely surround the White House. But it’s not a wall, walls don’t work. This is a ‘Static Security System’.

  4. … Biden to grab a shotgun and a box of cartridges, because there may have been a sound out there.

    … the immediate installation of a Cray-Cray computer system.

    … DARPA to provide an army of indestructible, self-aware killer robots that are programmed to view humans as threats.

    … an NSA director (whose nickname has a passing resemblance to the name “Linus”) to offer all terrorists thumb-sucking-and-blanket pardons.

    … Hillary to run all documents through a machine that somewhat resembles the name “Schroeder.”

    … the banning of all Charlie Brown references, under penalty of pulling away of the football from the perpetrators at the last second.

  5. …Pecos Bill to go lasso him a sharknado and ride the fences.

    …what Meg Ryan was having when she met Harry in the restaurant.

    …new guards. Lots of bigger, fatter, slower guards surrounding him.

    …that anyone running at him be handed a pair of scissors and a Daisy Red Ryder bb gun.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.