69 Comments

  1. …that it’s not still 1919 there also.

    …with all their ability there’s crapinsky around for their needs.

    …a space ship isn’t necessarily a landing ship.

    …graffiti from a V. Putin bragging about the bear he wrestled.

  2. When the Russians arrive on Mars in 2019, they will be surprised to find…

    a crash alien spacecraft with, what looks like, the skeletal remains of E.T. Looks like phoning home was not the safest way to get back.

  3. “When the Russians arrive on Mars in 2019, they will be surprised to find…”

    … that if you try sometimes
    You might find
    You just might find
    You get what you need

    I saw her implode at the reception
    A glass of wine in her hand
    I knew she was gonna meet her 9/11
    And her feet were -so- footloose, man

    You can’t always get what you want
    You can’t always get what you want
    You can’t always get what you want
    But if you try sometimes well you might find
    It’s not guaranteed.

    And I went down to the Feminstration
    To keep them from burying the lede – r
    Singing, “We’re all gonna vent our gestation”
    “If you don’t, you’re gonna blow 50 points for me. Rrr.”

    You can’t always get what you want
    You can’t always get what you want
    You can’t always get what you want
    But if you try sometimes, well, you just might find
    You get qu’aran-tined.

    I went down to Chelsea’s drugstore
    To get my description killed
    I was standing in line with Georgia Jimmy
    And man, did he look pretty ill

    We decided we’d have to craft a SCOTUS
    My favorite source of favors: very red
    I whispered “Scalia” to Mr. Jimmy, (yeah)
    And he said one word to me, and that was “dead.”
    I said to him:

    You can’t always get what you want
    You can’t always get what you want
    You can’t always get what you want
    But if you try sometimes you just might find

    You get Tarantino
    You get Watch Your Knees!
    –yeah, baby! . . .

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