Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
…Democratic primary votes in the trunk of a Chevrolet Coupe’.
…fish food…Jason Momoa is a suspect.
Fish heads
Fish heads
Roly-poly Fish heads
Eat them up…
yum.
…New York Times editorials (yep, that’s all of them)…
Over valued for sure.
…kale (yep, that’s all of it)…
…counterfeit bills.
…Bear level pepper spray. It was headed to Milwaukee for the DNC convention to fend off Gropey Joe.
…Venezuelan currency (yep, that’s all of it)…
…OJ Simpson memorabilia.
..Orange-Vanilla coke.
…plastic straws
Must have been trying to smuggle those straws into California – people will kill for them there.
I can see people in California killing for a tax cut…but for a lousy plastic straw!?!
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
well I’m not saying its Alien photographs from Area 51 but…its Alien photographs from Area 51.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
Moon signage.
Must of been the ones I put up there.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
shrubbery.
Knights who say “Ni” suspected in shrubbery theft. ~ NYT headline.
Women and minorities hardest hit.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
Ginzu knives. Including shipping and handling charges.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
used Hard Drives formerly owned by the DNC.
Along with a supply of server wipes (only used once).
Plus, as an added bonus, Free tech support from our helpful agents in Pakistan! [Available 24 hours a day.]
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
knives from a British knife amnesty bin.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
children’s books penned by a certain Mayor of a large East coast city currently out recovering from “pneumonia”.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
those thingies, you know, the thingamabobs kids love these days.
…Morse Code.
…Million Dollar coins.
…Tuna. (DamnCat is suspected)
I didn’t do it. Nobody saw me. You can’t prove a thing . [burp]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman :
That’s enough. Get on your paws, Private DamnCat! You had best square your a** away and start s*****ing me those $21,000 Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely Friskies you up!
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
damncat’s emergency tuna supply.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
wooden badgers.*
*Some assembly required. See Sir Bedevere for details.
Or wooden cigar store indians
…Joe Biden’s hair implants…
That wouldn’t cover all of them. All of them barely cover him.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
lap dances from Large Lena’s Kaboom Room.
I’ve heard that’s the swingingest place in Peoria.
…buggy whips…
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
Frank J. Fleming’s exciting new novel!
Buy the ebook!
Buy the paperback!
Buy the audiobook!
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
land around the town of Rock Ridge.
You see it can be done.
It was snatched, not stolen
Technically it was grabbed, like one of Biden’s photo prop people.
Now who can argue with that?
Some one go out and get us a Liberal.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
schnitzengruben from Lili Von Shtupp’s basement.
…Solyndra solar panels (yep, that’s all of them)…
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
Donald Trump’s money. Oh wait, found it in the sofa cushions. Never mind.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
Paddle balls from Hedley Lamarr’s basement.
When later apprehended by police the paddleball thieves complained that the majority of them were worthless because they are warped. “Why do we always steal warped ones?” one of the thieves lamented.
NFL referee seeing-eye dogs
Might actually be an improvement if they had used them in the first place.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
Two Hundred and Fifty dollar handcarts.
white flags. Police are scouring France for the perps.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
Handkerchiefs, Rachel Maddow suspected.
… coffee. The weird part is, it was decaf.
… and it was replaced with regular coffee. Someone is sending Mr. Folger a message.
The only clue is that it happened in a Sanka-tuary city.
Schnitzengruben….
… things from Jussie Smollett’s car, the bastards. He’s totally going to be putting in a claim with his insurance company for them.
How much could some rope, a couple of ski masks and some bleach really be worth?
… education at Harvard. Took ’em decades to accumulate, though.
Easter Eggs.
Weird heist – recently stolen: $21,000 worth of…
cash left in the United States’s Social Security trust fund.
… jokes about Ovaltine. They’re gold, Jerry! … Gold!
… 5-cent redeemable bottles from a U.S. Post Office truck.
Walnuts… which is a frickload of walnuts since they’re pretty much worthless.
Carbon credits
Straight Lines of the Day from Harvey’s backup stash.
M&Ms with all the red ones left behind.