Time again for Ask IMAO Anything, where you can, um, Ask IMAO Anything. The concept is in the title, so, you know, you don’t really need me to explain it. But I’ve never let that stop me.
You ask a question, and either one of the other Moon Nukers will provide an answer, or we will in a future post. Or, you can email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com
cayleygraph2015: Has the stray mouse whose click screwed up the previous “Ask IMAO” posting been disciplined?
He was a naughty naughty mouse. Good mouse at heart, but he had to learn his lesson. We’re all about some tough love at IMAO.
walruskkkch: and can you please supply a video of the discipline. Asking for a friend.
Sure. Here you go.
Christopher: There is a monkey on my property in Indiana, is it here to kill me? Will Frank come over to kill it? Or is he too busy playing Mario Bros with his kids?
We wondered what happened to Scary Evil Monkey. He’s harmless. Irritating, but harmless. Well, mostly harmless. If you want Frank to get rid of him, just send Frank the standard $25,000 Monkey Removal Fee and he’ll be right over.
walruskkkch: None that she could use as they were imposed upon her by the Patriarchy and exist to promote male dominance of the world.
I’ll take “Non-sequiturs” for $400, Alex.
c64wood: What is the first Rock n Roll record?
1949’s Saturday Night Fish Fry by Louis Jordan. Chuck Berry said so. So, yeah, your parents listened to Rock N Roll. You know what else they did to Rock N Roll, right? Mmm-hmm. Now aren’t you glad you asked.
walruskkkch: If you were a Survivalist, what Would Go in your Bugout Bag ?
Porn.
Francis: What did they use for the years before year 1AD? For example March 15, 44BC.
Sent from my iPhone
That was the day Julius Caesar was assassinated. Only, the Snap On Tools calendar on his wall said 710, which was based on the founding of the city of Rome. They called it “ab urbe condita” (AUC). The Hebrew calendar was 24th day of Adar in 3717. And don’t get me started on the Chinese calendar. The year was either 2653 or 2593. That’s a 40-year variance. Stuff like that is why the communists were able to take over.
zzyzx: Why is it that everyone in Hollywood who’s first name is “Seth” is a dipstick?
Ape Law.
zzyzx: Where did the vandals take the handles?
Out to a Dylan concert.
cayleygraph2015: What do you do when you see an ally make a true assertion, but justify it with entirely faulty logic?
Nothing at the time. If your opponents are convinced by faulty logic — which is likely anyway, otherwise they wouldn’t take the position they have, right? — then your ally may be able to convince them with his faulty logic. Later, after your opponents are crushed, driven before you, and you hear the lamenations of their women, then — and only then — you can slap him upside the head and call him a dumbass and set him straight.
Yes, there were more questions submitted, but stuff happened and I didn’t get to them. I’ll make it up to you. Somehow.
Thanks — and bacon! — to the following Moon Nukers who helped with the answers to other questions:
- Happy Fun Ball
- zzyzx
- CLIFFY
- Oppo
- Rihar
- walruskkkch
- Rihar
If you have a question for IMAO, just leave it in the comments and one of the Moon Nukers on the IMAO Crack Answer Squad will help answer. Or, we’ll answer in a future posting. Or, you can email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.
Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything. And are humble to boot. Gosh, it’s great being so awesome!
Adding the “DONATE” button to get rid of Scary Evil Monkey was brilliant, BTW.
What happened to 1UP through 6UP?
The same committee that worked on Preparations A through G.
Roy Scheider turned them down.
1UP got a job with a couple of plumbers.
2UP was last seen in eastern Saskatchewan after a freak lowriding accident.
3UP is a grandmaster in chess boxing.
4UP is the chairman of the upper midwest UFO welcoming committee.
5UP became a minor celebrity in the Ozarks by being the first one to eat a grenade. He was fine until someone punched him in the stomach.
6UP was a mascot for a little league baseball team until he was banned for replacing all of the roasted peanuts with foam peanuts. He got a guest shot on a game hunting TV show and was never seen again.
…And 7UP got drunk.
Am I the most stupid person on here? My home smoke alarms have been down for 2 years. A week ago, 3 doors down, 2 of my neighbors lost their lives in a house fire. It prompted me to get my smoke alarms back up, which was smart but am I still the most stupid person on here?
I bought smoke detectors for every room in 2015. They’re still in the box. So, to answer your question, no; you have to compete with me for that title.
walruskkkch: and can you please supply a video of the discipline. Asking for a friend.
Video unavailable
This video is no longer available because the YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated.
My friend is still waiting.
Cliffy
Built-in radar. His name would have been Radar Man so no name infringement with Radar of M.A.S.H. fame. Kapeesh?
The bigger question is what powers would Cat Woman have gotten if bitten by a radioactive Super Boy?
Here is my sequitar my friend.
Leave it with the sequitury.
I’m thinking of a number, what is it?
DB..I love competition but this is ridiculous….
Walrus, you’re thinking of the number 9 because all Cool Cats have at least 9 lives.
That’s a number? I thought it was a “no”.
It’s a Love Potion.
..your’re thinking of “nyet”, Russian for “no” like Bernie Sanders says to capitalism.
I thought that was text speech for “Not yet”.
Would a just God allow hipsters to continue to wear fedoras and soul patches?
No, but a malicious Deity would demand it.
A lot of the laity devote to the Deity
Contemplation pious and pretty
All day long it is said, it’s stuck in their head
But they pronounce it “Ditty.”
Monaco . . . Liechtenstein . . . Burkina Faso . . . The Gambia . . . Seriously?
My God, what have I done?
I only wanted to have some fun.
You Girl you.
Why so serious?
What’s Santa Claus doing now?
So who does need stinkin’ badges, then?
Not we.
Pokémon trainers, mostly.
Was there ever a tenth reindeer?
No…but there was an eleventh!
Hell, there were only 8 until they had to add Rudolph to meet some diversity quota.
Why do fools fall in lava?
What does an expanding universe expand into?