94 Comments

  1. In exchange for dropping tariffs, China wants America to give them…

    that one. Bring me that one over there. That one. The sultry b#tch with the fire in her eyes. Take her clothes off! I want that one, yes. Take her clothes off and bring her to me now.

  2. In exchange for dropping tariffs, China wants America to give them…

    another shrubbery! You must place the new shrubbery here beside the other shrubbery, only slightly higher so we get the two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.

  3. In exchange for dropping tariffs, China wants America to give them…

    …Hookels and Bro

    …Folgers Crystals.

    …an autographed copy of Rick Astley’s “Whenever You Need Somebody”

    …40 acres and a mule

  4. In exchange for dropping tariffs, China wants America to give them…

    your tired, your poor,
    Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
    The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
    Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
    I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

  5. . . . an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce, and a cup of coffee. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring them the toast, give them a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken any rules.

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