[High Praise! to Oppo]

Tapped at by My Fingers (to the tune of “Wrapped Around Your Finger” by The Police)

You would kick me off of “The Apprentice”
A phenom non compos mentis
I’d be ostracized by youth with extreme vigor
If not staring at The View to learn my trigger

I have not come here seeking knowledge
This is what they taught me most in college.
I can see democracy is sold
Turned over to a tiny band so old

I’ll be rapt, around your fingers,
I’ll give crap to bitter clingers

Ol’ Methuselah is not your name
I know that you’re up there just the same
I will lust the most for free tuition
Won’t hear of the costs to its provisions.

I’ll be hip, just like a singer
Democrats sound like Jerry Springer

Revel in the deep blue states behind me
Banish from the air the right, so fine me
I will take my turn, defame those bastards
Idiots, not savants, are our masters

You’ll be tapped at by my fingers
You’ll be tapped at by my fingers
You’ll be tapped at by my fingers
YOLO…