[High Praise! to Oppo]

The Slightest Crime (to the tune of “The Longest Time” by Billy Joel)

Whoa, oh, oh
For the longest time

If you said goodbye to us tonight
There would still be someone to indict
What else could we do?
We all conspired to prove
That something happened — for the longest time

Once presumption of innocence is gone
How the show and entrapments can go on
That’s why you find us
Trying to put our harms behind us
(But Biden’s been there for the longest time)

Whoa, oh, oh, oh
For the wronged, it’s time
Whoa, oh, oh
For the jaundiced —

We’re that voice you’re hearing on your phone
And the only principle we’ve shown
Is how we hate you
And how you baited us to
That hasn’t happened for the slightest crime

Maybe this won’t last very long
But it felt so right
Spies can’t be be wrong
Maybe we’ve been hoping too hard
But we’ve gone this far
And it’s more than we hoped for

Who knows how much further we’ll go on?
Maybe we’ll be sorry when you’re gone . . .
Nah, we’ll take our chances
We all get our book advances
Life hasn’t been fair for the longest time

We had second thoughts once before
We said to ourselves
Go on, two years more
Now we know the fighter that you are
Like Underdog so far
And Joe got what he’s groped for.

We don’t care what consequence it brings
We have Fall Guy Mueller for such things
We wanted so bad
We think you ought to know that
We intend to hound you for the longest time

Whoa, oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Whoa, oh, oh
For the longest time