Submitted by walruskkkch:

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I have a cousin named Beetlejuice. If you say his name 3 times he still won’t come.
Beetlejuice? Your sure its name isn’t Betelguise?
Went to interview…ignored them when they called my name…didn’t get the job…wondering why I’m still unemployed.
claim discrimination against the insufferably indifferent.
“I.I.”, captain