Archive of entries posted on July 2021

Lawyers Puzzled: Man Dies With No One At Fault

Posted by on

(2021) Lawyers throughout America and beyond were stymied on Friday when a man in Garden City, New Jersey, died of natural causes with no one to blame.

“It’s pro[bab]ly unprec[e]dented,” said one of the lawyers on the scene. “I d[on’t k]now: I’ve neve[r] h[ea]rd of anyt[h]ing like it.”

The man — 121 years old, with a history of diabetes and lung, liver, pancreatic, cystolic, diastolic, dandruff, vision, hearing, cognitive, motor, swallowing, not swallowing, inhaling, exhaling, digestive, and vibratory problems — had not come in contact with any well-financed consumer products or drugs in the days leading up to his demise.

Lawyers, legislators, loved ones, law enforcement, late-night talk shows, and lookers-on are still pursuing all possible avenues of investigation.

4

Tuesday Night Open Thread: Double-O Slovenly

Posted by on

Classified UK Defense Documents ‘Found by Member of Public at Bus Stop’
The Epoch Times | 06/27/2021

The papers included one set of documents which discussed the potential Russian reaction to HMS Defender’s travel through Ukrainian waters off the Crimea coast on Wednesday, according to the BBC, while another laid out plans for a possible UK military presence in Afghanistan.

A member of the public, who wanted to remain anonymous, contacted the BBC when they found 50 pages of classified information in a soggy heap behind a bus stop in Kent early on Tuesday morning.

“The department takes the security of information extremely seriously and an investigation has been launched.”

“No, Mr. Bond: I expect you to stay awake and not let things drip on your papers!”

Do you have something you’d like to share? A link? A joke? Some words of wisdom? A topic to discuss? It’s our nightly Open Thread, and you have the floor.

4