I have given instructions that after my ashes are scattered in the sand hills that my urn shall be burned in either a fireplace or a camp fire ..so everyone can smell my funk.
After sleeping on it I have decided to use an old wooden cigar box for my urn. All I will do is sand it down so all the pictures and words on it are gone, unless there’s some hot babe on it, which there isn’t. I don’t smoke but I think it would be cool to have cigar added to my ashes before the lid is sealed with Emu Glue, it’s better than Gorilla Glue.
Save by ratting out The Mob instead of Hillary. The Mob will dispose of the body where it won’t be found, which will cut down on funeral expenses. OTOH, Hillary’s assassins make sure the body is found, so as to deter anyone else contemplating suicide.
…I plan on making my own wooden urn and it will be way more fascinating looking than some wooden badger.
I have given instructions that after my ashes are scattered in the sand hills that my urn shall be burned in either a fireplace or a camp fire ..so everyone can smell my funk.
After sleeping on it I have decided to use an old wooden cigar box for my urn. All I will do is sand it down so all the pictures and words on it are gone, unless there’s some hot babe on it, which there isn’t. I don’t smoke but I think it would be cool to have cigar added to my ashes before the lid is sealed with Emu Glue, it’s better than Gorilla Glue.
My plan is immortality.
I’d just like to say good luck. We’re all rooting for you.
Be a cat. Nine lives – one funeral.
…submit yourself to the Emu…
… donate your body to Science – they’ll take care of it…
My body isn’t even fit to donate to science-fiction.
I know a Funhouse that might be interested…
Yes, this joke was stolen. I think it was from Rodney Dangerfield.
I intend to wander out into the woods and die like an old dog
I just take the bodies out to the woods and burn them along with the rest of the evidence.
Save by ratting out The Mob instead of Hillary. The Mob will dispose of the body where it won’t be found, which will cut down on funeral expenses. OTOH, Hillary’s assassins make sure the body is found, so as to deter anyone else contemplating suicide.
Don’t embalm the body.
Just bömb the body. (Big $aving$!!)
(Wait. You’re talking about my funeral? I thought it was my ex-mother-in-law’s.)
I’m going to have the same funeral Bond gave Mathis in Quantum of Solace.
Charge admission .
Elope.
So, you’re telling me I shouldn’t have an open bar?
Who needs a fancy casket? Just put me in an old Cool Whip bowl like we did with my hamster, Mr. Tiddlywinks.
Seriously, there is an ad for a local headstone design company (The Memorial Man, LLC) on this page for me.
Targeting ads to the proper clientele ftw.
Avoid death ….
and advise your friends.
Don’t forget to feed your children.
And put water in the pet bowls. It could be awhile.
Isn’t it obvious?
Don’t die.
Easier said than done.