Archive of entries posted on 29th March 2025

Saturday Night Hootenanny

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The Management would like to take this opportunity to apologize for last week’s Hootenanny. We realize now that trying to find good songs for a basketball theme was an impossible task. We would also wish to inform you that those responisible have been sacked. This week’s hootenanny was completed by an entirely new crew, including several llamas. I hope you enjoy it.

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Cartoons and Memes : Saturday Night Special

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“Whoa there Miss Cardinale, what’s up with the gun?”

“Just getting ready for today’s theme.”

“Shoot, what is it?”

“Yup.”

“Yup what?”

“Shoot.”

“Son of gun.”

“Yup.“

Winner

9.

This week

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So Simple, It’s Brilliant!

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Why didn’t I think of this?

Preacher Marvin Sapp Under Fire For Seemingly Holding Congregation Hostage Until They Donated $40,000
yahoo news | March 27, 2025 | Jacquez Printup

Gospel singer and preacher Marvin Sapp is facing severe criticism online after a video of him seemingly pressuring his congregation into donating $40,000 went viral.

In the video, Marvin Sapp … instructs ushers to “close the doors” until he sees all 1,000 churchgoers drop a “seed” of $20.

99% of People at Closing Time Judged Above Average

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So there’s only 1% below average?

Attractive Young Woman Applies for IMAO Internship: Hired on Strength of Those Three Descriptors

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‘Sup, Hahavad?

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Lox et Demitasse?

Now, Even Harvard Students Need Remedial Math
Unleash Prosperity  | 03/27/25 | Stephen Moore

Harvard University is being forced to launch a remedial math course for its students.

The university is spinning this is only being done to make up for gaps in entering students’ algebra skills that it blames on lockdowns. Sure lockdowns were an unforgivable mistake.

But the bigger question: how are students getting into America’s most elite college without knowing algebra, which is taught starting in junior high? The elite school has a 3.4% acceptance rate for applicants.

What does this tell us about the math skills of the other 96% of high school grads?

Straight Line of the Day: Things To Do If One Happens To Find Oneself a Scientist: …

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  • Yank the chains of non-scientists. Long time all time!
  • Brag about it in the chat room of your video games.
  • Devise a plan to take over the world. I’ve seen the movies . . . and the documentaries.
  • Go up to girls in bars and say: “Hi. I’m a scientist.”
  • Evaluate what happens.
  • Apply for a grand — I mean, a grant. Well, who are we kidding?
  • Look through an oscilloscope. That probably hurts.
  • Get a printout from an EKG. Hand it to someone, with request for more data.
  • Look through a microscope.
  • Look through a telescope.
  • Look like a horoscope. (Well, maybe not you personally, but your colleagues who eventually have their papers retracted.)
  • Use arcane coded phrases around nonscientists. You know you have to.
  • Grow a beard. But not like Evil Spock.
  • Wear peculiar glasses. Take them off when making a point.
  • Stockpile envelopes — which even stationery stores no longer carry — for back-of-the-envelope calculations.
  • Debate other scientists in front of a blackboard. Waving an arm is optional. Actually, not.
  • Call every opponent a “nut” — a reactionary one or a radical one is up to your audience.
  • Bonus points for working “heuristic” into your rant.
  • Learn statistics. Not everything that happens is significant, or is a harbinger.
  • Learn about the Second Amendment. Not everything is about science.
  • Learn about love. Check out IMAO and Babesleaga on a regular basis.
  • Aspire to have something named after you besides your kid. (But even politicians do that.)
  • Look to identify a microbe. But not around your house. Your wife will get miffed. If you have one.
  • Look down on people who don’t know why their shopping cart wheel is crooked.
  • Feed the cat. Why should you have some sort of James Bond license to forget things?
  • Consider things absolutely settled.
  • Unless there’s money in researching further.
  • Publish! Your very life depends on it! You can’t breathe! The clock is ticking! Now! Call your publisher! Stat!
  • Consider getting a pipe. You may not be able to find them: English professors have already calmly bought up most of them. And they’re quoting Shakespeare to those girls in the bar. Good luck.
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