The Donks are trying to get Frank Lautenberg’s name on the ballot in place of Torricelli. Republicans are crying foul, saying they should have replaced him a long while ago if they wanted to do this, but the Democrats claim that they didn’t realize until now that the public wouldn’t elect a total scumbag. Frankly, they said, it was a bit of a shock, and they felt misled. When the Dems announced their plan, Lautenberg gave a little speech and sounded like a confused old man they just woke up as he ineptly strung together a bunch of Democrat cliches.

“We will fight against the… uh… my opponent… who want to stop us from… uh… aborting… uh… starving children…”

Someone get the man his pills!

The absentee ballots with Torricelli’s name on it have already been sent to military personnel overseas, but the Democrats don’t think that should be a problem since they can just throw them out like they did in Florida. To be on the safe side with their scheme, though, they’re also trying to disenfranchise anyone with a high school education.

I just remembered: my dad voted for Torricelli back in 1996 (protest vote against Republican Dick Zimmer for his over the top negative ads). I should call home and make fun of him.