With Bush’s poll numbers dropping, his Iraq speech tonight will super-duper important. Thus, I’ll give him suggestions for lines in his speech.
TOP TEN SUGGESTED LINES FOR BUSH’S IRAQ SPEECH
10. “For those who say this war is excessive, I propose a twenty percent reduction in the size of Ted Kennedy’s head and a hundred percent reduction in the sounds coming out of it.”
9. “I’ll hand over Iraq when they leggo my Eggo.”
8. “For those who are vehemently opposed to the war in Iraq, I have this to say to them: I will kill you and your family.”
7. “It wasn’t like Iraq was going to invade itself.”
6. “That mean man Saddam tried to kill my daddy, so I got him good!”
5. “France was really opposed to us invading Iraq, so you know some good would have to come of it.”
4. “I assure you that Iraq will become a full-fledged democracy instead of a quasi-dictatorship like Canada.”
3. “The war has actually been going very well; we just didn’t realize that Iraq would be so damn full of Iraqis.”
2. “As for my opinion on Abu Grahib, I never looked at the pictures because I’m not a pervert. Why? Did you look at them?”
And the number one suggested line for Bush’s Iraq speech…
“I was only doing what Cheney and thus Halliburton was telling me to do; go talk to them.”
First! I enjoyed #s 5 and 8.
ha ha ha,
I liked 4 & 2.
That’s the correct answer, Marble. You will not be banned.
I liked 1 through infinity.
France opposed an American action? What, are they stupid?
I liked them all, of course, but especially 9 and 4. You’re a funny guy, Frank. I bet you didn’t know that.
Hmmm Allah is gone, Frank is still here. Hmmmm, and Andy Kaufman has been re-born, somewhere there is a connection. I only liked the odd numbered ones, its a festish thing.
Perfect!
“I’m George Bush, and I approved this list.”
CIC
W
PS
“John Kerry is a wussy biker! I can crash better. See my boo boo chin?”
Islamist terrorists look like hippies. It was a natural mistake.
Honorable Mention?
“When was the last time France or the UN did anything right?”
It was not like we could wait around for the Frnch to do anything.
Ahh, so sad that #4 isn’t even really parody…
And yes, I’m Cabnadian, so I’m allowed to say these things 😛
Err, I’m even Canadian too…
:} #7
So very worthy of being #1. Come on, Frank – I’m really not supposed to be laughing this hard at work. =)
Good Stuff!
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Genius, Frank.
I think we should Invade Canada
LibertyBob:
That goes without saying. Why would anyone live in that smelly place unless they were a little, in the words of Ann Coulter, D-U-M-M?
I wouldn’t mind if Ted Kennedy kept speaking, but I do wish it would be cease to be a news story or listened to by anyone else. My poor defenseless radio doesn’t need to be yelled at any more than it already is.
Hehehe, bla… not to be ungrateful for past time favors but..
You americans are really as stupid, as we europeans think…. so keep on
Be afraid
Consume
Obey
Watch tv
Shut up, as youre told…
Sorry about the poor gramma but im only 12
i loved the whole list, though i’m partial to 2,3,4 & 10. you’re too funny, Frank.
leggo my eggo, hahahahahahahahahahahaha
These are pretty cool… And kinda funny too!
Liberal liars are spouting crazy propaganda against our president!
A recent investigative report’s findings contradict allegations that Bush avoided military service but also explain why the president has remained vague about his activities during those twelve months.
The secret organization was called SUMS and Bush was actually in Vietnam during part of the time where he completed several special operations. Just do a search on Bush and “Missing Years” and you’ll find it.
And quit complaining about our super president!
Buster