“Everybody have fun tonight!” Bush yelled as he danced at the convention, “Everybody Wang-Chung tonight!”
Rumsfeld dropped a dead terrorist at Bush’s feet. “Found this.”
“Was he a suicide bomber?”
“All I know is he committed suicide when he came near me!” Rumsfeld growled.
“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you,” Bush said, “Al Qaeda has decided to target you!”
“What!” Rumsfeld yelled. “Rarr!” He then ran out of the convention hall.
“What’s up with him?” Scott McClellan asked as he walked towards Bush.
“I dunno and I don’t care; it’s time to party!”
“Well, we still have to deal with the ad controversy,” Scott said, “There are the Swift Vet ads and then the ads saying you were AWOL…”
“I wasn’t AWOL!” Bush shot back, “I flew jets and they went ‘Zoooom!'”
“Yeah, but there is a five month period in 1972 where there are no pay records and…”
“I didn’t get paid!” Bush shouted, “I won’t tolerate that! Let’s go to that base in Alabama and get my pay!”
Bush ran off and Scott quickly followed. “But what about the convention?”
“This just in: Al Jazeera is showing a grainy video of a man going by the pseudonym ‘Donald Rumsfeld.’ He says he will kill all terrorists until his demands are met – that all terrorists die. More on this as it evolves.”
“Hello, Lt. Bush, haven’t seen you in a while.”
“You owe me money, Major Dunbar!” Bush yelled, “and I want it now!”
“Let me check the records.” Dunbar opened a file cabinet. “I don’t have records for a certain period…”
“I was here and I want my money!”
“We go now to CNN reporter Lefty Stevens for live coverage from the Middle East.”
“Terror has come to the terrorists,” Stevens pronounced, “and it isn’t pretty. Everywhere they lie strangled, RPG’s unfired, bombs unexploded. We talk now with terrorist Mohammed something or other.”
“It’s horrible,” Mohammed said, “All I want is to kill Americans and jooos, but now I’m scared to leave my home!”
“Without terrorism, the Middle East has lost its second biggest export,” Stevens stated, “France is condemning this terrorism against terror and blaming it on Bush… as do I and all of CNN.”
“Bush is Hitler!”
“You get away from me!” Laura yelled, swatting at the protesters with her purse.
“Back off now or I’ll bust a cap up your ass!” Jenna Bush yelled as she pulled out a chrome .45.
“You put that away and be a lady!” Laura said as she tapped Jenna on the head. “And Barbara, you put away that knife.”
Barbara rolled her eyes. “Yes, mother.”
Laura’s cell phone then rang. “Hello?”
“Laura! I’m in prison again!” Bush yelled.
“What now?”
“They charged me with hitting an officer.”
“How did that happen?”
“Well, I… uh… hit an officer… but he owed me money!”
“What did I tell you about hitting?”
“I know. So, can you come bail me out? Scott got thrown in with me on the charge of being doughy.”
“It certainly would be quite a spectacle for you to give your convention speech from a prison,” Laura chided, “You think about what you did while I come get you.” Laura put away her phone and looked to her daughters. “I have to bail out your father again. Now you two behave.”
“Yes, mother.”
Laura then spotted something. “Donald! What did I tell you about dragging dead terrorists into the convention hall?”
hah! first in my world!!! HAHAHAHA
“Without terrorism, the Middle East has lost it’s second biggest export,” Stevens stated, “France is condemning this terrorism against terror and blaming it on Bush… as do I and all of CNN.”
This would be funnier if it wasn’t true, nailed the muckadoos on this one.
dragging dead terrorists into the convention hall-great mental picture!
I’d like to see Rumsfeld walking up to the podium with a strangled terrorist in each hand, dragging limply beside him. He then needs try to adjust the microphone but the dead terrorist, still in his clenched fist, just slams into the underside of the podium (with a loud thud) and prevents Rummy from adjusting the height of the microphone properly and he then lets out a large “RrrrAAAAaaaaaawwwrrrrr! I hate terrorist, always getting in the way!”
Being doughy is a crime?! Off to the gym!
Wow Jenna talks like a gangsta’! What school did they send her to….
That might explain the Kerry girls getting booed on MTV, perhaps “the brothers” are down with the Bush crew.
After all the Republican party is the one wit’ da “bling bling”
Know wha m sayin?
Bwa ha ha ha! Great stuff, Frank! What a way to start off my morning!
Ooooo…the image of Jenna with a chrome .45 is pretty. Melikes.
But could she be better than Sarahk? After seeing the “American Hottie” picture, I don’t think so!! But it would be a close shoot-out, no pun intended.
I heard the Bush Twins had a video tape of them played at the MTV thing and they also got booed, so I heard from the BBC.
Just saying.
BBC= Babbling Brook Commies
..just saying…
Very good, sir.
You are my wheaties.
You forgot the part about John Kerry crashing the party just in time to say “I’m here. I served in Vietnam. Just because Bush can fly a plane doesn’t make him better than me. I can shoot teenagers in the back and hook up with Jane Fonda and still be elected to the Senate and get to run for President! I love stupid people!” Unfortunately for doodie boy, Rumsfeld did not love stupid people and popped condom man in the head.
i think i’ve created a Bikermonster!
(hiya, Bikermommy, i heart you!)
“Yeah, but there is a five month period in 1972 where there are no pay records and…”
“I didn’t get paid!” Bush shouted, “I won’t tolerate that! Let’s go to that base in Alabama and get my pay!”
Spoken like a true Conservative!
Hey, don’t forget, Kerry can fly jets too, as he’ll be delighted to tell you!
I can’t remember where I saw it, but one of Kerry’s tall tales is about being taken for a ride by an Israeli fighter pilot, and given a chance to take the controls. All that’s no doubt true, but then he adds a typically self-aggrandizing bit about the fighter pilot praising Kerry’s mad skillz as one of the best he’s ever seen, or something equally implausible.
“Terror has come to the terrorists,”
Hey, as anyone heard more about the vigilante gangs in Iraq that were taking down some of the Mahdi and Bathists a awhile back?
I had some hope for them.
Matt,
I heard bout them guys, and are gov’t turned their back on them.
Stoopid gov’t muckadoos
our…sorry. typo
-Joshua
If you want to take terror to the terrorists, just incircle a city or two. Then let people leave one at a time (unarmed and with proer identification). Follow up by bombing the city to firey dust.
Show the men who left on television with a voice over saying, “These men were not man enough to stop al Sadr and his thugs. Since they were being such women about it we had to level the city. If you don’t want us to have to level your city, and we can, then you will be men and support the new Iraqi government against petty thugs like al Sadr.”
Calling Iraqi men “women” for not killing the insurgents is sure to have a reaction.
Too bad being doughy is not considered a crime in NYC.:( Otherwise they would have had grounds to haul Michael Moore out of the Republican National Convention and into a waiting jail cell.
Great idea LibertyBob! Let’s go one step further… When we destroy the city, let’s do it with C130 Gun Ships! We can make every third round a tracer, and fly them around the “Lucky” location, blasting anything and everything. Could you imagine 6-10 of these all shooting at the same time? We would video tape everthing to show what happens to those who resist, and play in in prime time on the local al-juh-zeer-duh channel.
hmmmmm… it would look a lot like a tornado of distruction….
Sweeeeeeeeet!!!!!
OTT
Yeah, it was good but I’m still sulking that my vacation is over.
I Wish I Lived In Frank’s World
Vignettes from IMAO’s “In My World” feature. “Bush is Hitler!” “You get away from me!” Laura yelled, swatting at the protesters with her purse. “Back off now or I’ll bust a cap up your ass!” Jenna Bush yelled as she
“on the charge of being doughy”
HA! Good one.
Rumsfeld dropped a dead terrorist at Bush’s feet. “Found this.”
“Was he a suicide bomber?”
“All I know is he committed suicide when he came near me!” Rumsfeld growled.
“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you,” Bush said, “Al Qaeda has decided to target you!”
“What!” Rumsfeld yelled. “Rarr!” He then ran out of the convention hall.
Oh, that is so great. I love Rummy! Go Rummy!
I can just see him, maybe Buck the Marine as well, in a one way liberate the Middle East Tour now, right before election day.
Maybe Rummy can drag ol Osama to the RNC convention after Bush’s acceptance speech?
Heh heh.
“Well, I… uh… hit an officer… but he owed me money!”
lol — that was the best line
I’ve always somehow imagined Rummy doing one-handed push-ups–ala Jack Palance at the Oscars.
I wish I could do one-handed push-ups. I’m too doughy. Gotta work on that.
If being doughy is a crime, consider me a fugitive.
good job…love the Bush babes…M Moore is beyond doughy, he is corpublobolent…we gonna win, I can feel it