It’s been slow news lately and I just haven’t been getting too inspired (despite the occasional hilarious mass e-mail from Democrats.com). So, once again, I’ll do what almost never works and ask you, my readers, for ideas. Specifically, what’s making you maddest in politics right now? And you can’t all pick Muslim terrorists, so try and be more specific on your answer. If I get some good ideas, I’ll then make fun of what your mad at and make you happy. It’s a basic humor equation:
A x R = L + H
A = Subject or Person that Makes You Angry
R = Ridicule
L = Laughter
H = Happiness
When something that makes you angry gets hit with witty ridicule, you laugh and become happy. That’s a super scientifical fact since I wrote it in equation form. Will call it the Fleming Anger to Happiness Conversion Theorem (Simplified).
A = Minnesota Golden Gophers hiring Tim “Punky” Brewster as new Head Football Coach R=after telling everyone in the
Twin Cities that only a big-time name like Tony Dungy was acceptable this time. His claim to fame is he talked Vince
Young into going to Texas–err–Vince was from Houston–L=Laughing very much (being an Iowa Hawkeye grad myself) H=
Happiness–Hey, Frank–this works–cool!
I just heard a rumor which has made me furious. A monetary institution with which I do business is outsourcing a bunch of jobs to India.
Now I know this is politically incorrect but;
I don’t want to have to translate something I’m already confused about into English because Rahji doesn’t know how to use articles of speech. I’m calling them because I have a problem. I want to speak with someone who has not only a grasp of the language but who isn’t rude and or arrogant. I have already had this experience in the past and I cancelled the account as soon as I could.
I also don’t want my financial information in the hands of people who have already proved they hate Americans as a whole an wish nothing but evil to happen to us.
I also don’t want to support an organization which makes record profits but won’t hire Americans at a decent wage. If they are in that much financial trouble I’m pulling my money out of their clutches.
Sorry, first and furious!
Hmmm, if A x R = L + H, then L-(A x R)=-H, which is to say laughter without ridicule of others leads to unhappiness.
Yes, I was a science major in college.
What gets my blood pressure up is the usual double standard for Democrats saying stupid things and getting away with it. Like Barbara Boxer. Her remarks to Condoleezza Rice were arrogant, sexist, and racist. As a matter of fact, I nominate BB as “Bitch Emeritus” of the DNC pack of dogs.
I vote that we ridicule the Senate Republicans for being the biggest wusses on earth and never standing up to the Democrats. A majority in the senate for the 12 years meant nothing due to Rino’s and spineless wimps. I was in shock and awe when the 2 supreme court judges got through, because of how horrible the senators were. Even with a majority Bolton couldn’t get confirmed. How often do those ingrates stab the President in the back? I would have a problem joining the military knowing some politician who will bend to the latest public opinion poll controls my fate. Every time their was Republican opposition in the Senate the same names popped up. It happened so often I think I have them memorized, Hagel, Snow, McCain, Collins, & Specter. I think these guys even voted against Clinton’s impeachment they are such Rino’s. Sadly the new senate will just go back to the playbook from 20 years ago and Try to kick the football while the Democrats pull it away, and we miss again. What a sad group. They don’t represent me. Why is it that the Demos get Ultra libs elected while Republicans can’t even get decent candidates.
A=Barney Frank throwing a hissy fit with the gavel on the House Floor R = He obviously isn’t “getting enough” and I’d suggest that the next site pest here be nominated as Barney’s “boy toy”…
the thing that upsets me the most now days is the lack of hellbender. 🙂
you’re not your
Hmm…what’s making me maddest in politics right now…
Democrat governors in the southwestern states. Hell, in any states.
Bush’s toothless immigration policy.
Nancy Pelosi’s butt-ugly mug on the TV screen & front page.
Naginomics.
Smoking bans in public places, outdoors, in my yard, in my car, in my home, etc.
Obama/Osama/O’Donell.
Oh my.
Mexican GPS devices for enemy invade… oops, I mean incoming “undocumented workers”.
Those people on the sidewalks in front of the universities who are always anti-something, but never solidly for-anything.
Racial intolerance, unless it’s toward white people & Joos; that’s OK, apparantly.
IMAO. (j/k!)
The idiots saying that sending more troops in won’t help while saying a month ago we should send more troops!! This absolutely floors me that the press won’t report it!!!!!!!!!
I hate the enemy within.
What I’m mad about? I’m mad that the republicans don’t place enough observers in the polling places all over the country –in EVERY fricken district! … Where I live, we have the “vote by mail” abomination! Our mail carrier has “Kerry/Edwards” bumper stickers all over her Volvo station wagon, (not to mention her hippie-assed stinky hairy armpits! and whack-job environmentalist bumper sticker messages [accent on the “mental”], this was cause for concern).
I decided it would be best to hand deliver my ballot to the county seat…wrong! …the lefties anticipated this, and overcame the possibility of a conservative upset.
This last election, the extremely liberal county where I live (it voted overwhelmingly for universal healthcare a few years ago, whereas the rest of this blue state was 70% against it), decided to put a drop-box just inside the courthouse door where you put your ballots (They wouldn’t let you got to the elections office)…you couldn’t just put the secret ballot inside the outer envelope into the box, it had to include the envelope with my name, address and signature. hmmm, Look me up on the list! –REBUBLICAN! — If I were a democrat, I (like most of them) would throw my ballot it a burn barrel. I’m sure that’s where my vote went this last election!
The whack-job state to the north of me had their governors election stole a few years ago, the same goes for us here in Benton County, Oregon. Yeah! I’m pissed!!!! MAKE HAPPINESS OUT OF THAT FRANK! –honk honk–
anything to do with Democrats or the Media
but just as much at Republicans who cut off their nose to spite their face in November, who are willing to believe and pass on without fact-checking the worst and most baseless accusations against President Bush and decreasing by steady drip through misinformation the support of those that even the Dems and the media were incabable of fooling, the Buchananites and Tancredoites who are paranoid about amnesty behind every bush and under every stone and turn off even those inclined to agree with them with their wild-eyed rhetoric, deciding splitting the party when we were on the eve of shattering the Democrats was a good thing and giving them the reins of power.
…basically, with few exceptions mostly involving the Bush administration (but not excepting everything done thereby) and a few stalwarts like Sessions and Cornyn, I’m pissed off at nearly everything in politics today.
Hurry on over to LGF
This will make you so furious that I don’t think there is anyway to use the humor equation.
If the link doesn’t work, just go to their site and search. The video snippets are from you tube. Just go, this is a must see.
Arnold continues to prove that he’s really a Kennedy.
It’s January. Money season. Everybody is broke from buying Wii’s against their spouse’s wishes, companies are coming out with earnings that show a distinct need of tax cuts, hence dropping the stock market, and the IRS is just around the corner.
Can your equation handle whininess or do you have to process posts like that through Chomps first to turn them into rage?
BTW, how’s your R&D department you mentioned a while back going? Give PERL a try; throw some good match patterns at the Limey and your other interlopers & you should have plenty of material.
How about a nice story where Lou Dobbs takes it in the seeds real hard. I’m not sure where the Lou’s populism starts and the pandering to the middle classes worst fears ends.
I’m sure glad Obama’s such a self made man that made his way in a world of adversity. Out with the Yale men. In with the Harvard men. Hooray!!! I was getting tired of Yale men.
Hooray!!! Hooray!!! Hooray!!! Barf!!!
I am mad at liberal double think. I was at a party surrounded by liberals . They were trying to equate Iraq with Vietnam. They were telling me about the armed forces being racist via using poor blacks as cannon fodder in the fighting. I told them of an article I read last year. In it I learned that in todays’ volunteer army most blacks are signing up for training positions (ie. medical techs) and many whites are signing up for actual fighting. I do not know if the article was correct .However, the response from the crowd was classic. They immediately accused the army for being racist for not allowing more blacks to fight.
Ussjimmycarter,
“being an Iowa Hawkeye grad myself”
There are seven Iowa City grads in my family, two brothers, a sister, two in-laws, two nephews. I attended my freshman year before transferring to University of Missouri-Rolla. I spent the first 13 years of my life within a half hour of Iowa City and returned for to visit relatives several times a year, nice town.
I still follow the football team. To me Haden Fry is still da-man. No rooting for Goophers is allowed or any other rodent species.
How about nonJacksonian “Republicans” (I presume you are up on your Wanter Meade definitions)
Appeasment, prostration-prone Republicans scraping before their Democratic overlords for the last 5 years or so.
People that still harp on about the Iraq war being a bad idea, like Saddam was some kind of folk hero or something. Losers. BBC is a good example of this: it never stops wittering on about Iraq.
Another group of losers are all the people that blame the West for all the problems in the Middle East. Physician, heal thyself…
I’m angry that Castro is still alive.
However, it does make me happy that his “great medical care” has finnally screwed him. He’s always bragged about how his hospitals is better than others. HAA! I laugh at his pain
How about women and marriage? Always fertile ground and you should have some fresh source material (if you’re man enough!)
You know we’ve never met Mrs. Rumsfeld In My World. And how is retirement suiting Donald?
Rosie & Trump & the Miss World sluts should be endlessly mockable.
The governator seems to be wussing out lately…
Well, at least you didn’t send us to Sadly No! this time.
That made me mad last time. I mean, there’s no need to be rude to me when you can’t make me laugh.
I have a question.
When was the last time SpaceMonkey was in Louisiana?
In short, why do I have to dial 1 for English? That and the fact that I can’t walk through our production area, any grocery store or any auto parts store without feeling like I’ve entered a forgen country (every language spoken BUT English)!!!
What’s making me mad is the way the MSM is treating the rescue of Shawn Hornbeck and going off on the poor kid.
Here’s an 11-year-old boy kidnapped by some Grizzly Adams looking perv., Heaven only knows what that monster said or did to the poor kid when he was eleven-years-old and now the !)@*&$%#! media is acting like it’s somehow the kid’s fault.
“WHy didn’t he run away when he was left alone? What is wrong with him?”
I’ll tell you what’s wrong with him:
He was a freaking 11-year-old kid who was scared to death because some monster kidnapped him, did Heaven knows what to him and threatened him and everyone he loved!
What I want to know is this:
What the flock is up with Nancy Loudmouth, Greta Van Talksoutofthesideofmymouth and every other member of the media for thinking that an 11-year-old kid knows how to act in such a situation.
These jerks are ready to appease freakin Osama bin Laden to save themselves and they don’t understand a frightened little boy? What a bunch of pussy losers!
Lately, I;m getting tired of advertizing. First of all, the obvious: idiotic, moronic car sales ads. The ad screeches onto the scene with loud explosions and some idiot yelling the name of whatever state the ad is running in. In my case: OHHHHH-KLAAAAA-HOOOOMA! KABBOOM! FOR ONE BANG DAY CRASH ONLY KERCHOW…..
Cripes. Gimmie a gun.
And why is it now, that every last stinking technological advance is geared towards stuffing advertising right into your nostils? They stick advertisements on gas pump HANDLES now. Not Gas Pumps… Right there on the friggin’ handle.
Ever try to watch the news on the internet? Advertising gone wild! They seriously expect me to watch a 15 second ad, in order to get to my 30 second newsclip? I’ve seen ads running 30 seconds, in front of a one minute newsreel.
On TV, you are getting between 20%-30% ad time. This crap is pushing 50%
And somebody please murder whoever it is responsible for all these “dancing idiot” ads from you-know-who. You know, the black silohette of the couple dancing on the rooftop, or the black-shadow boogying like they have a gerbil loose in the pants… This crap is even starting to turn up on ebay.
Now this needs some exposure.
In case you think it’s anti-Navy wait for the credits. They make it even funnier.
It might be a little anti-Army, but in a “Hey! They called us squids! Get em!” way.