26 Comments

  1. I look forward to long, drawn-out explanations from Newt on “what we need to do” that no one listens to and not one of which will be implemented.

    The countdown timer on the financial death of our Republic will continue unabated by political rhetoric.

  2. Yeah, I planted beans over the weekend, Marko, even though in the NW, we’re headed towards “the year without a summer.” As soon as they sprout (IF they sprout!), they’ll all be saying, “Hey, dude, WTF were you thinking?! It’s too fracken cold out here! And the pounding rain, you turkey! And the mold! Screw you, I’m gonna die now.”

  3. How about a law that says all American presidents have to have actual American names? Who the hell names their kid Newt??
    …at least we know who names their kid Barack. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over electing someone named Barack Hussein Obama and expecting different results him to act differently than all the other Baracks and Husseins and Obamas.

  4. Now we need Eliot Spitzer to jump in. Hey, do you think they would let Madoff out of jail to run as a Republican? That would be like super cool! Bo Derek is a Republican…she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but hey she’s eye candy so let’s get her in the race pronto!

    Republicans are pathetic! I’ll bet they even like poor people, blacks, fat and ugly kids, old people and teh gheys now! I’m glad I’m a Tea Party guy! We hate all those people! Michelle Bachman or bust!

  5. I seriously fear that Newton Gingrich could win the pub nomination. Few could out-debate him. The problem is that I doubt he could ever govern as well as he campaigns.
    Libs used to hate him as much as they hate Palin, but noone can ever say he’s stupid. They just said he was evil. When he smiles he does look evil, though.

  6. Newt was a legal alien who moved there with her family to find jobs and then got invaded by illegal alien Aliens. Much destruction ensued, but on a smaller scale than if a creature like DamnCat invaded MarkoMancuso’s yard.- Cats in your beans = Bad, VanCamps Cats ‘n Beans = Good.

    The PJ Tatler reports that WikiLeak’s makes staff sign a confidentiality agreement and fines and punishes anyone who breaks it. A copy of this agreement was shockingly leaked which prompted Julian Assange to attach his creepy looking body to the leakers face before Ripley could save him.

    Even more shockingly, the actor that played Newt in her first role never acted again and is now a school teacher and most likely lives with a cat.

  7. Wow, did you see Newt’s hair? Looks like he’s got John Edwards on staff as his hairdresser.

    (I know. That’s not nice, but I watched his announcement video and I threw-up in my mouth a little.)

  8. When ole newt cudded with piglousy on the couch, I think he got some on him. You can tell by the face and the constant babling incoherencies.

    Newt is trying for the silky pony look.

    Good thing global warming is a hoax, Mitt’s and Newt’s hair would have a heck of a time.

    Still a douche bag for a Republican is still better than any marxist like the Sasquatch’s husband currently stinking up the white house.

  9. Newt’s Silky Pony look ain’t cuttin’ it! And I will never forget his sessions on the sofa with Pelosi to sell us all the scam of Global Warming! That’s what all Conservatives should be doing! Reaching across the aisle to find the most repulsive human being alive to do an add with!!!

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