From a comment discussion with Zach [High Praise!]
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ZACH: I’d kind of like to see us all start calling her Twinkie Warren.
I do kind of like Lizzie Warren, though. It sounds like Lizzie Borden.
HARVEY: Zach – Might not work, since the more popular interpretation of “Twinkie” is as an Asian slur: yellow on the outside, white on the inside.
For Warren, you’d need something that was white on the outside and 1/32 red on the inside.
I’m thinking “powdered jelly donut”.
ZACH: Harvey, nobody makes a snack food that is a good analogy for her. If they did, they wouldn’t stay in business very long. Probably the closest thing you might see in real life is a store that advertises jelly doughnuts but a disgruntled baker filled them with mayonnaise.
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OK, maybe she’s a powdered sugar donut that’s sitting behind a sign that says “jelly donuts”?
Spanish Omelette, hold the tomatoes?
Tapioca pudding? (“those little lumps look white, but they’re actually red – see their tiny little high cheekbones?”)
Any other ideas?
i think maybe 1/32 red on the outside, ’cause that would show off her high cheek bones, 31/32 white on the inside. a tomato stuffed with mayo, perhaps?
“We call her… ‘maize.'”
Since she seems to wear her red (Marxism) on the outside I’d think she would be more of a red skinned potato.
Ketchup-sandwich on white…hold the ketchup
Not a food item but she is a lot like Red Man chewing tobacco. Makes you want to spit and you dare not swallow.
Airport sushi. Gives you the trots and makes the TSA single you out for suspicious behavior.
Blues Brothers style wish sandwich (throw her against the wall and wish you had a sandwich).
You may be onto something, Razor. Margarine originated in France and is pasty white, with coloring added to make it look more like butter. In the 1880s, the butter lobby got several states to require margarine to be dyed pink, to brand it as artificial and make it less appetizing.
The old “butter/Parkay” commercials come to mind; it’s “butter” because it says it is.
Also, about 10 years ago, Parkay tried to market squeeze bottles of pink and blue margarine that they thought would appeal to children. It didn’t catch on. Apparently, kids are less easily BSed than many of the folks being polled in Massachusetts.
Obviously, the best food metaphor for Elizabeth Warren is the Hostess Snowball. It’s spongy central mass (composed primarily of air) contains a mushy white core and is covered by a sticky, sickening white fluff. The flakey exterior is a coating artificially colored red.
all this talk of Warren and food in the same thought is making me queezy.
She’s obviously a Pop Tart…there’s usually about 1/32nd of the amount of cherry filling necessary to make them not taste like cardboard.
Is lying sack of $hit taken?
Nasal green lime jello with little white marshmallows, chopped celery, and bits of carrot (1/32 fraction).
(Why do I do this to myself? I hate jello and I just ate my best Borscht made from home-grown beets, potatoes, onions, and cabbage. And someone else grew the beef and sour creme – so, yeah, “I didn’t make that.” But oh, baby, it’s good! Mmmm mmmm mmmm. Potatoes!)
The correct food is a hostess zinger. Red with coconut flakes.
Elizabeth Warren food analogy:
Limburger Cheese
Kim Chee
This analogy is longer and I hate to make it but it fits:
Maryland Steamed Crab. See the Blue Channel Crab starts out blue but when you steam it, it turns red. You steam them in water, vinegar and a product called Old Bay (which will take the paint off your car it’s so hot, just by waving it across the hood) The Crab is actually delicious but picking it is a pain in the, well a pain. Crabs are also bottom feeders so there’s that. Eventually all that’s left is the husk which you throw away. So except for the inside being worthwhile the analogy fits. Oh and if you get a bad one it could kill you. So that part works too.