Isn’t it way past time for a Womandalorian?

I instantly liked Mandalorian. It was Star Wars unburdened from the Skywalker story line. And it was made by people who obviously like Star Wars and weren’t all “The stuff you like about Star Wars you’re wrong to like so I’m going to subvert expectations!”

My 4yo was saying a very nice prayer last night, asking God to help her not be afraid of the dark and go right to sleep, and then added at the end “and please destroy my family.”

Saw a new thing on Disney+. They have Swiss Family Robinson, and in the short description it says see details for viewer advisory. In the details it says the movie was kept as is but contains “outdated cultural depictions.” Well, zip-a-dee-doo-dah.
It’s been a long while; I don’t remember what the cultural depictions were in it.
Will we eventually get something like that for Mario games with his “Lets-a go!”? Currently, those cultural depictions are not outdated.

Would be nice for Disney+ to have some list of the Marvel movies in order. I notice they’re missing a few though (I know about Spider-Man, but do they not have full rights to the Hulk standalone film?).

I am much more excited to see what happens next after the first episode of The Mandalorian than I was with The Last Jedi.

Not to get all feminist, but the high heels on Zero Suit Samus in Smash Bros really grates on me. She’s the no-nonsense, intergalactic bounty hunter and they have her running around in impractical shoes and the powersuit equivalent of underwear.
Alone together, we faced the horrors of planet Zebes. Treat her with respect.
Oh man, and don’t get me started on Other M…

Man, I don’t know if I’d want a billion dollars because then people might not like me. But I guess if I had a billion dollars, I wouldn’t care what people think. I barely do now.

Has enough time passed that it’s not spoilers to talk about baby Yoda?
Anyway, first order of business, we need a name for that baby, as timeline-wise, it’s obviously not actually Yoda.
And, yay, we finally got to see what that disintegration Darth Vader warned Bob Fett against looks like.

Disney+ is pretty sweet. Just watched the 2nd episode of The Mandalorian with my kids (son very upset has to wait a week for another) and now they’re laughing at Lady & the Tramp.
The original. I’m morally opposed to the live action remakes.

Oh, I was trying to remember what’s the “outdated cultural depiction” from Lady and the Tramp, and then I hear “We are Siamese if you please…”

The second season of Jack Ryan did not grip me as much as the first, as evidenced that it took my like two weeks to watch the eight episodes.
And it was hard to get over that bizarre choice to have it take place in Venezuela—famous for collapsing from socialists policies—and have it collapsing from vague right-wing policies.
And I had trouble buying that the Venezuelan president was so oppressive that he’d throw anyone opposed to him in a camp but not so oppressive as to prevent a viable opponent to him an election.
And then there was the whole helicoptering into the presidential palace and shooting everyone. I’m no foreign policy expert, but some countries might interpret that as an act of war.
Hopefully next season doesn’t take place in a North Korea torn apart by capitalism and deregulation.

I see some people getting really sensitive at the idea they are too far left, and it is a bitter pill to swallow that maybe your ideas are so terrible that Trump is literally the better, more compassionate option.

Can’t the right and the left unite around how we need to protect baby Yoda?
There may be things we disagree on—like whether or not it’s necessary to disintegrate Jawas—but the important thing we all agree on is that baby Yoda is precious and needs to be protected.

I’m still not voting for Trump in 2020, but I understand why Barack Obama is.

I’m going to try that “I have spoken” on the kids. If it works, then I’ll try using it on the wife. #TheMandalorian

ME: “First time your uncle was deployed, he wasn’t an officer and went to door to door in Iraq.”
9yo: “Wouldn’t that cause a war?”
ME: “We were already at war.”
9yo: “Why? Did Iraq attack us?”
ME: “Um… it’s more complicated than that.”
Someone want to help me out here?

My 9mo spent ten minutes yelling at his own shadow and I was all like, “Ok Boomer.”

#ReleaseTheSnyderCut into a volcano.

I’m really enjoying The Mandalorian which makes me worried Rian Johnson is watching everyone enjoying it and lobbying to be the showrunner for the 2nd season. “I have some ideas to really subvert expectations.”

I enjoy watching The Crown even if some of the historical liberties it takes are a bit grating, like the way President Kennedy is still alive in the show because Queen Elizabeth threw her crown just in time to deflect the bullet.

The Salvation Army is verboten now?

I kind of feel bad for Rian Johnson now. I don’t think he meant to ruin Star Wars… though some of it did feel malicious.
He might have actually done an interesting movie if they just had him do some Star Wars movie unrelated to the Skywalker story line, but as the middle part of a trilogy, The Last Jedi was just an absolute train wreck.

You can personally like The Last Jedi, but you have to admit it failed as the middle of a trilogy based on the reaction to it. Know the mark of a great Star Wars film? You don’t have to constantly argue with half the fan base that it wasn’t terrible.
I have a similar thing with my novel Sidequest. I love the ending. Many readers loved the ending. But I had a lot of reviews of people who said they loved it up until the ending. I could explain to them all why it is in fact a good ending, but maybe I messed up a little.
Everyone loves the ending to Hellbender… as far as I know or care. Buy Hellbender.

I put up with a lot of negativity on Twitter, but I don’t know what I’d do if I saw someone say something bad about baby Yoda.

Showing my kids Gargoyles off of Disney+. I remember it having much more complex storylines for a kids’ show (the premiere spans 5 episodes), so much so I didn’t completely feel silly watching it when I was fifteen.

The reason they get frozen as statues for a 1000 years was bad writing, though.
“Without evidence, I’m going to believe other people killed the princess, so I’m going to cast a spell on you. …Oh. She’s alive. My bad.”

And I don’t know how to explain the relationship between Goliath and the female gargoyle. Is she his girlfriend? Wife (spoilers: It is later revealed they have a kid)? I don’t know if there is gargoyle marriage.
Anyway, I hope they learn some good lessons from the show, like if you become a billionaire, spend your money on extremely convoluted schemes.

I think a good surprise to end the season finale on would be finding out President Trump has no idea what Twitter is.

I’m not trying to be over the top, I’m just saying I don’t want anyone who liked The Last Jedi near my kids. If I found out one of my daughter’s teachers liked TLJ, I would try to get that person fired. And since my daughter is home schooled, that might result in a divorce.
I checked, and my daughter’s teacher thinks the Rose “love” speech near the end was really really stupid.

If you’re only job was to learn for the next 16 years, you’d expect to come out of that like Batman. For kids, we’re happy if after K-12 plus college they have one marketable skill. Most of the school time is already just wasted busy work, but they want to increase it?
Seems like it would be cheaper and more honest to just abolish schools and just give parents guaranteed daycare until their kids are 30.

What percentage of women in the workforce would rather be a stay at home mom if given the option?

It’s strangely hard for a lot of “feminists” to accept that most women don’t want to be like men.
A society that values women wouldn’t look back at history and say all the important figures were men and women need to be more like them. It would say women have always done the most important job and it needs to be recognized more.

Some people have noticed that Superego is not available anymore as anything other than audiobook (well, some sellers have the paperback for like $1000). It will return with a new cover and a sequel.
And if you’re going to pay $1000 for a paperback, buy it from me. I still have like a box of them.

That thing where you push a button and someone you don’t know dies but you get $1 million is a great government spending metaphor.

It’s a free country. That means you can complain about billionaires and call them the worst things you can think of all you want, but if you try to plunder even one of their dollars, you should be thrown in Azkaban forever.

Billionaires don’t deserve their money. You deserve it even less. The government deserves it least of all.

People who think billionaires shouldn’t exist shouldn’t exist.

It’s called Ford vs Ferrari, but you know in the end they both team up to fight Lex Luthor.

Trillionaires should not exist. Cut the federal government.

You live in the most prosperous nation in a time in human history where you luxuries and opportunities unimaginable just a hundred years ago. If you spend any time angry someone has more than you, you’re extremely greedy.

Remember when Megyn Kelly was fired for mentioning blackface? Have we gone forwards or backwards since then?

Just like firefighters run to the fire, reporters run to the news to extinguish the news before anyone sees it.

Can you imagine a world without billionaires?
You can’t, because you’d be dead from the Joker’s laughing gas since there’s no Batman.

“Billionaires shouldn’t exist!”
gets rid of billionaires; somehow everyone becomes poorer
“Millionaires shouldn’t exist!”
gets rid of millionaires; everyone becomes poorer
“Thousandaires shouldn’t exist!”
…
“People with more than five sticks shouldn’t exist!”

My perfect president would be someone who doesn’t really care whether the American people lives or dies and thus won’t be interfering with them to harm them or because he thinks he’s being helpful.

I’m glad it gets narrowed down to just two choices in November 2020 because I am completely overwhelmed by all these great options for president.

I don’t understand exactly what’s “guaranteed” about Amazon’s guaranteed delivery dates.
“We guarantee it will arrive by this day or otherwise we’ll email you telling you it’s going to be late.”

I didn’t see The Simpsons Stranger Things Halloween episode, but I was think the weird thing about 80s nostalgia with The Simpsons is when the series first started, Bart grew up in the 80s, but now that would be Homer.
I think it was over a decade ago they had a joke on The Simpsons sliding time scale, with Homer starting a flashback narration with “Back when I was a kid in the late 50s… or was it the 60s? Or maybe the early 70s.”
You know, The Simpsons was only in its 14th season when South Park did its “Simpsons did it!” episode. South Park just completed its 23rd season. A difference with South Park, though, is I still hear people talk about South Park episodes.
End observation dump. I have no point.

It doesn’t matter how much money someone has; you don’t have a right to decide how to spend a single dollar of it.

All the people complaining about billionaires also don’t deserve whatever wealth they have. If they somehow succeeded in summoning economic “justice,” they would not like it.
For how much of human history did people subsist on what would be the equivalent of $1 a day? No one “needs” $20,000.
We were all born into incredible wealth and luxury, yet so many just focus on people with more and make themselves miserable. You all deserve less than you have.

I wish I was important enough for President Trump to give me a nickname… though it would probably be “Cool Dude Frank.” Even Trump wouldn’t be able to insult me. Because I’m such a cool dude.

I hate billionaires. One lives next door to me and he constantly makes fun of how relatively poor I am and then pelts me in the face with stacks of bills. Those are heavier than you think and they sting.

My billionaire neighbor, Steve, is a huge jerk. He’s always taunting me with things like “Better go save those pennies for your kids’ college. Better save those pennies!”

The other day, he asked me, “Do you even own your house?”
“Well, I have a mortgage…”
“Ha! The bank owns your house! Look at me, I’m Frank: ‘Please Mr. Bank Manager, please give me money so I can buy a house.’”
“Mortgages are pretty common, Steve.”
“Common for losers!”

“How much do you even make, Frank? Like only 7 digits?”
“I don’t earn anywhere near that, Steve.”
“How do you even live? I would kill myself if I were you.”
“I think I make a pretty decent salary. I mean…”
“Sorry! Can’t hear you over the sound of how much money I have!”

I don’t know what to do. He’s out there every time I leave my house. I guess he doesn’t have to work… on account of all the billions he has.

I really like Laffy Taffy as a candy, but I feel compelled to read the terrible terrible jokes on the back before I tear off the wrapper and it just makes them too much work.

I’ve decided “OK Boomer” is what I now say to my kids whenever they whine about something.
“Stop saying that! I don’t know what that means!!!”
“OK Boomer.”

Little Winchester is about 9 and a half months now. He’s doing great, except he’s small… like fell off the growth charts small. It would be really concerning if he weren’t so perfectly health otherwise. He’s hitting all the other milestones and really seems to be thriving.

All the Fleming kids have been on the small side, and when you combine that with Down syndrome, I guess you’d expect really small. Still, we’re hoping he’ll put on some more weight soon.
He’s starting to talk. “Mama” and some syllables that are maybe “dada.” His favorite form of communication, though, is the raspberry. He’s always giving me raspberries. It’s not particularly respectful.

Have you tried not caring about billionaires?
“Jeff Bezos has a net worth over one hundred billion dollars!”
“Interesting.” moves on with his life, dealing with things that actually affect him

And is it just me, or is it perverse all these millionaires complaining about billionaires? It just goes to show you it doesn’t matter how much you have, you can either choose to be happy or miserable about it.

If you don’t like the way police handle law enforcement, here’s a great tip: Stop coming up with new laws for them to enforce.
Instead it’s like: “We don’t like the way police treat minorities. Hey, let’s pass a hate speech law to protect minorities!”
So instead of someone getting strangled for selling loose cigarettes, they’ll get strangled for using the wrong pronoun.

Maybe Politifact should just come up with a “True, but we don’t want to admit that” rating.

Isn’t it hypocritical for people on the left to get angry at that churro lady being arrested? But hey, if you want to support unregulated capitalism, we’ll make room on the bus.

There are basically only 1 ways for an entity to become a trillionaire:
1. Large-scale violent coercion

Renting Hobbs and Shaw. Accidentally got it first through Amazon before I realized it was only a 24 hour rental. I can’t watch 2 hours and 17 minutes in 24 hours; I’m not an unemployed bachelor.
For some reason all the Fast & Furious movies are 24 hour rental on Amazon but 48 on Google Play but the same price. Wonder why that is.

Important to know: If you have a Verizon unlimited data plan, you can get Disney+ free for a year through them. Just log into your account, go to manage add ons ad the bottom of the page, and it should be there.

In politics, there is at least one thing you are absolutely 100% certain you’re right about that you are in fact very wrong about and you should behave accordingly.

Before Disney+ stopped working for me, I was able to show my 9yo daughter the first episode of the original DuckTales and the first episode of The Simpsons (I got in trouble with my wife for that one, but I was my daughter’s age when I first saw it).

Made my 4yo cry by saying “Ok Boomer” to her, but someone needed to take her down a notch.

I hate command line compiling on Windows. It’s the ugliest thing.

I cannot recommend Ethan Nicolle’s new kids book, Brave Ollie Possum, enough. It’s kind of like IT, but for kids and not adult weirdo creeps. I had so much fun reading it out loud to my kids. You can buy a premium edition straight from Ethan.
When I was reading it to my daughter, she had been coming into our bed every night. The book actually helped convince her to try being brave and stay in her own bed, and she stopped coming into our bed soon after.
Anyway, Brave Ollie Possum is a great chapter book filled with illustrations and I think aimed at early readers (like 8 and up). If you have kids, definitely get a copy. It’s just the right amount of spooky to keep them hooked to the story.

“It wasn’t until I heard of a group called the ninja turtles that I began to question and assert and recognize my inherent value as a human being—which is a very separate thing from a mutant turtle.” -Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

backing minivan out of driveway at night
“Everyone ready?”
4yo: “I’m Not Buckled.”
wife turns ceiling light on in a panic and see my daughter is strapped in just fine
4yo: “‘Not Buckled’ is my name.”
She did a reverse “Nice to meet you, hungry” on us!

I had a great discussion with Jazz Shaw. He had an interesting question on which Democratic presidential candidate would be the best for satire, and I think I picked the right one.

$52 trillion? No one can wrap their brains around that. You might as well just say it costs a gajillion dollars.

The best way to reduce costs is capitalism. Going with some other method is like trying to win a race by picking a tricycle over a Ferrari.

If Netflix gets that 2x feature, The Irishman will be only an hour and 45 minutes long. I prefer a lean, 90 minute movie, but maybe I’ll check it out.

I dunno. Just seems like there could be some problems from turning over more of health care to the dumbest, most dishonest people on the planet.

When an irresponsible sociopath says she wants $52 trillion in spending power, I’m always a little hesitant.

Death Stranding seems pretty divisive. I’ve seen some perfect reviews for it and some bad reviews (IGN gave it a 6.8). Game reviews don’t tend to vary as much as movie reviews, especially for AAA games.
I remember one lone review for Breath of the Wild that gave it a 6. I would not listen to that person’s opinion on any other game ever. Or anything else.

Democrats argue about health care like Obama’s greatest political victory never happened.

Back when I was a kid, we had to read comic books ourselves since we didn’t have movie producers to do it for us.

Maybe they’ve matured with age and it will be Rage Against Cancel Culture.
“By the way, we’ve analyzed the data and capitalism is — by far — the greatest force against poverty that has ever existed. So if you don’t like capitalism, just leave this concert right now. No refunds.”

This morning, the kids were playing Monopoly at the table and the wife was feeding the baby in his high chair while I was cooking pancakes and bacon in the kitchen, and for a moment that place I’ve been searching for my whole life, I was there.

We catch but glimpses of the other world in this one, but it’s a powerful thing.

I don’t cook much, because I have a wife. And before I had a wife, all I usually ate for dinner was Campbell’s chunky soup.
Still, there’s a couple things I cook. One is “daddy breakfast” which is pancakes, bacon, and fried eggs (like my dad used to do on Saturdays). The other is rib-eyes, as my wife made it pretty clear she would think less of me as a man if didn’t insist on cooking the steaks.
Now, my dad did teach my how to cook steaks before he passed away, but it amounted to five minutes on each side when on a grill. I want something more exact than that to get more like a good steak at a restaurant. So I looked into skillet recipes.
First one I tried sounded neat because it like butter and fresh garlic, but it relied on a meat thermometer to get it right, and I found out mine was no good. Man, was it disheartening when I cut into it and it was well done. I couldn’t meet my wife’s eyes after that.
Found this recipe, though, from Alton Brown which is nice and simple and gives you the times to go by. Worked out perfectly. Nice, seared, medium-rare steak. I earned my wife’s respect (though she eats hers medium, which I don’t respect).
Trying again tonight. We’ll see how consistently it works for me. Anyway, the point is, my wife bought more steaks. Yum!

I want to thank again everyone who bought and enjoyed Hellbender. I love writing stories and funny things, and it’s a real blessing to have an audience to share it with.
I am writing a sequel to Hellbender as I have a ton more idea for that world and characters. First though, I’ll be putting out some long overdue sequels to Superego.
If you like my writing, make sure to sign up for my newsletter at http://frankjfleming.com… though you probably won’t miss things if you just follow me on Twitter.

I eat gluten free along with my wife and daughter, so I don’t have any opinion on Chick-fil-A versus Popeye’s fried chicken. I like Chick-fil-A’s grilled chicken, though.
I remember first trying a Chick-fil-A fried chicken sandwich a long time ago, though. I was like “This doesn’t have much breading. It doesn’t look very good.” I was wrong. It was good.

The polling doesn’t look great for Warren, but if the Democrats really want to get an unlikable woman president, their best bet is against Trump.

I’ve been working from home for nearly three years, and now that we’ve rearranged the kids’ bedrooms, I just finally got my own office (I had been working at a desk in the corner of our master bedroom). It’s sweet!
Things have been going so well for me lately it’s starting to feel like the first act to some horror movie or thriller where I have to go rescue my family.

As people argue which are worse, the Boomers or the Millennials, it’s important to remember that GenX are blameless and have done nothing wrong and are but victims of both of them.

Remember when PCs were going on this rant about “Bad command or file name” and Radiohead was all like “OK Computer.”

Yay! Red Dead Redemption loaded and ready to play on two different gaming PCs!
Now I just need to find that fabled time to play. Maybe sometime around Christmas… as long as I’m where I want to be on all my projects.

“The Koch brothers just pulled a family from a burning car. Here’s why we should be concerned…”

About this James Younger thing, how exactly do you determine a 7yo is a girl other than that person have XX chromosomes and the unique organs of a female? Especially how do you determine that to the certainty you would give the child harmful drugs?

People are outraged that Trump is Trump, not because he said a particular thing, and they just use whatever he said latest to again express that outrage.

Making a new streaming service for coding-related programming. It’s called C+++

The only way to always support Trump or always oppose Trump is to surrender many of your principles.

I’m still trying to find good ways to market my book Hellbender. How much does it cost to put flashing videos on the dark web?

You have to support the terrible people. They’re the only thing between you and the horrible people.

The final season of Halt & Catch Fire was strange. Just felt like it meandered a lot.

My political analysis is that if all the time and money wasted on analyzing which terrible politician is slightly less terrible than the others had instead been invested in other sectors of the economy, we’d all have jet packs and lasers guns by now.

When you are little, you want to buy all the video games but you don’t have the money to buy all the video games. When you are adult, you can afford all the video games but don’t have time to play them. Such is the condition of man.
I feel like I could write another chapter of Ecclesiastes on this.

The left want a candidate who is really smart but also able to suppress that smartness so as not to tell them that all the big things they really want are stupid and unworkable.

I’ve never paid enough attention to see what happens when an album drops these days. So it just goes straight to Spotify and such for everybody now?
My experience with Kanye West is knowing for the longest time he was a superstar but then had someone play all his top songs and then became frustrated that not even one was vaguely familiar.
If someone is a superstar, I expect to have heard at least one song through osmosis — like it was used in ads or something. With Kanye, only one was familiar because Weird Al used it in a polka medley.
Later, I decided to try to become familiar with modern music by listening to all of the current top 25 songs on Spotify. It all blended together — except for two. One was pretty good, and the other was so bad I skipped it. Both were Kanye.
Anyway, listening to his new album to be a part of culture.
I expected Closed on Sundays to be kind of cheesy, but I kind of liked it.
Overall, I kind of liked the album Jesus Is King. Don’t know if it will rank up there with my all time favorite album (Flood by They Might Be Giants).
It was interesting enough that I listened through it a second time. I think my favorite was “Water.”

Got the biggest dis from my baby son. My wife was holding him and he was smiling at me, but when I reached for him, he quickly turned and clung to mommy tighter 🙁

I didn’t know what to expect with Jesus Is King. I thought it might be cheesy or just surface level religious, but it felt much deeper than that.

Star Wars Movies Ranked:
1. Empire Strikes Back
2. Star Wars
3. Return of the Jedi

1. Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure

What makes The Last Jedi different than the prequels is how apparently a bunch of people conspired together to troll Star Wars fans and pretend to really like it. It seems mean, but I admire their dedication. Some of them never drop character.

I’m sorry, but for all its problems, none of the later Star Wars come anywhere near the greatness of Return of the Jedi. All the original trilogy are in a class by itself and it’s silly to rank them amongst the others.
And the Ewoks are great and you’re dumb.

Wearing my Babylon Bee hoodie, listening to Kanye, and going to Chick-fil-A — being a total pop culture Christian today.
Should probably fit in reading the Bible, tho

At the tee-ball fields, we weren’t watching our 4yo for a minute and she went to the concession stand, got a ring pop, and got an adult in line behind her to pay for it. We need to watch out for that one.
She’s kind of in this no-man’s-land being the second youngest of four. I’m guessing that will lead to a bit of independence.

With my son’s classic costume, I’m teaching him to correct people with “Actually, Frankenstein was the doctor. I’m Frankenstein’s monster.”
I’m sure he’ll get extra candy.

Man, you don’t want to be a terrorist killed while Trump is president. He’s going to make fun of you.

Mario cuts the bridge, sending Bowser into lava
he checks the Washington Post the next day
“Bowser, Austere Leader of the Koopa and Go-Kart Enthusiast, Dies”
Mario burns the paper with a fireball

No disrespect to the president, but with all his “fired like a dog” and “died like a dog” talk, if I were a shelter I would not let him adopt.

I am really curious how that WaPo headline happened. I doubt they’ll be forthcoming on it, though.

I know the euphemism often used for Winchester is “special,” but he certainly makes me feel special to be his dad.

He’s getting some forward movement down. He lifts up on his hands and knees and then launches himself forward about an inch. Often though, he’ll just lay on his stomach and spread out his legs and arms (as seen in the picture) like he’s trying to fly and then starts kicking.
It hasn’t worked so far, but he keeps trying so maybe he knows something I don’t know.

I keep seeing this thing about how we’re going to achieve gender equality in 208 years, but it seems really optimistic that men will birth half the babies by then.

I was on The Conservatarians podcast talking about satire, Snopes, writing, Trump (probably), and of course, my novel Hellbender.
Check it out. My SarahK says I wasn’t terrible.

I don’t get Apple TV+. It looks like they’re going the sorta HBO route by investing in a few shows that they hope everyone will talk about, but it’s a weird reach for a computer device company.
Do they really expect to have enough to get a lot of people to pay for their service or be a selling point on iPads (“I was on the fence about a new iPad, but I’ll get a year of Apple TV+ and it’s eight or so shows!”)?
Well, Apple has more money than most countries. They can do what they want. Also, I have a number of great TV show ideas, so they should probably come talk to me.

Imagine a decade ago pitching a movie where Trump is president, but it’s a drama.
It wouldn’t happen, because that’s a comedy premise. We’re currently living in a comedy. If you accept that, it’s kinda fun. If you resist it, you end up being the dean from Animal House.
Or Kevin Bacon.

I don’t know if I’m #NeverTrump. I’m more “I don’t like Trump but I don’t have any realistic better suggestions.”

#AlwaysYang

It seems like the least popular way to attack Christianity is to go after something Jesus said or did. I’ve seen it done before, but it’s pretty rare.
Strategically, that seems like it should be the most popular way to attack Christianity. The assertion is that Jesus is God made flesh, so to disprove that just show that something he said is really dumb. Dig up his old tweets, so to speak.
What he said and did certainly was attacked back in his own day, but it everything he said accepted now? Well, obviously not all or everyone would be Christians.
What are the least popular things Jesus said? How he talked about marriage in Matthew 19 might be considered a bit narrow now (though I don’t see a lot of people bring that up).
Personally, when he was 12, I didn’t care for his response to his mother after his parents had been searching for him for like three days. Maybe it’s the translation, but it seems a bit dismissive of their concern.

THE FORCE AWAKENS: “Do you love Star Wars? So do I! Here’s some more!”
ROGUE ONE: “Remember Tarkin? Remember AT-STs?”
THE LAST JEDI: “I will raze everything you love in front of you and drink your tears.”
SOLO: “Um… remember Chewbacca? ..No no no. I’m not going to hurt you!”

I’ve never watched Game of Thrones, so I’m not up on how I’m supposed to hate David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. I did read the five released books years ago, so I know I’m supposed to hate George R.R. Martin.
Years back, when I finally started writing the sequel to Superego, I joked that my goal was to get it out before Winds of Winter. I thought it was a joke as with my part time schedule I can sometimes literally write one sentence per day.
But I finished it a while back and have just been sitting on it, getting other things ready. It should finally come out early next year when the cover is ready. I don’t see much chance of Winds of Winter beating me.
But can I get the second sequel to Superego out before Winds of Winter comes out? I’m going to write a sequel to Hellbender before that, but I think maybe.

“Oh, you say you’re a big fan of progressives? Then name five things Americans enjoy that you want to ban.”

Maybe there is a market for people with really terrible politics who want that politics fed back to them in their sports coverage.
But maybe there isn’t.

What do I know, though? I live in this blessed place where I don’t have to care if any of my writing is marketable.

Just because you like doing something doesn’t mean anyone owes you a living doing it.

Man, WaPo is the absolute worst. They now have an editorial on limiting freedom of speech. Is “Democracy dies in darkness” their mission statement?

The arguments against a hate speech laws are so elementary I’m constantly baffled we need to repeat them. What do they teach in schools anymore?

I was planning to not vote again in 2020, but if you Democrats decide to nominate Yang, I’ll vote for him. I’d have to reward that.
There’s a lot I don’t agree with him on, but he’s the only candidate who seems thoughtful instead of partisan.

Release the Joss Whedon cut!

I don’t like the media teaching my kids there are such things as “good” werewolves. That’s not helpful.

One thing that makes writing less stressful for me is that I already know how to code.

Glad we have these new, young, dynamic politicians who can take principled stands against…
checks notes
…condemning genocide.

I don’t get the freak out over Netflix offering a 1.5x speed option. If a consumer wants that, then what? You want to physically stop them?
People talk about the way something was “intended” to be seen, but I’d rather it seen than not. The Third Man still sticks with me, and I watched it on a couple inch screen on a Compaq iPAQ (anyone remember those?).
BTW, I don’t listen to any of your podcasts as you intended them. 2x speed, because I’m a busy man.

Banning all political ads is a much fairer way to handle things than having to wade into partisan fights saying what’s true and what’s isn’t (when you don’t know).

Like I said, we’re living in a comedy and everyone is trying to be the dean from Animal House.
“That was a doctored photo of a dog! I’ve never seen such a disgrace! That’s it Trump: You’re on double secret impeachment.”

Man, wish I had more writing time. I’m really debating whether to hunker down and finish writing Hellbender 2 or Superego 3 next. Have great starts for both.
The first sequel to Superego, Superego: Fathom, should be out in not too long (it’s being edited and cover is being worked on), and my original thought was to continue to write the rest of the sequels (the full story arc is 4 books).
At the same time, Hellbender was a lot of fun and I don’t want to wait that long to write another one. So I was thinking of alternating.
Oh well. Lesson I’ve learned is just make sure you write something each day and eventually — eventually — it all gets done.

“We need national rent control” is considered a serious position held by serious people?
You know why you can’t have progress? We keep having to go back and explain why 2+2 equals 4 and not some other number.

There is no real proof that photo of Trump giving the dog a medal was altered.
I’ve seen photoshops before. They all say “Photoshop Trial Version” down in the corner. This did not have that. It’s a real photo.
When forensic analysis of the photo is complete (which is supposed to be sometime next week), I think people are going to feel really silly for doubting it and will hopefully apologize to Trump and the hero dog.

I think that hero dog has exposed a lot of prejudice. When people hear a dog killed a terrorists, they say, “What a good dog. I would like to pet that dog.” But if it was a cat that killed a terrorist, people would say, “That’s one scary cat. Keep that cat away from children.”

The Democratic candidates all rallying around abortion on demand in the third trimester is just straight psychopath. Don’t know of a nicer way of putting that.
It’s just infanticide at that point. It’s like a decent chunk of the population has gone completely insane… in a very gruesome way.
Now I find abortion horrific from the getgo. I saw my kids at 8 weeks and would have considered it murder to harm them then. Still, it’s no mystery why you have a lot of support for abortion on demand in 1st trimester but it drops to crazy fringe in the 3rd.
It’s just that crazy fringe includes now almost all the Democratic candidates. My guess is, most of them find it horrific too, but you have to pander to the base which feels the need to double down on the most gruesome parts of abortion.
Well, if you want profiles in courage, the last place to look is politicians. Still, if you want to help Trump, make sure he’s the only one on the good side of the dismembering babies issue.

When I eat a fortune cookie, I just pop the whole thing in my mouth and chew and swallow the cookie along with the fortune.
Because I make my own luck.

Yes, I’ve nearly choked to death a couple time, but that’s because of my actions… not random chance.

If I ever met anyone who disagreed with me about politics, I’d just patiently explain to him why he’s wrong.

Why don’t all the Dems just run on what a great success Obamacare was?

“Here’s my plan for health care: Nothing. Because we have Obamacare. Problem solved back in 2010.”

If you honestly believe the world could soon be ending from climate change and that America is collapsing to fascism, how much time do you spend worrying about pronouns?

When you first see a person, is categorizing that person as male or female the very first categorization your brain does? How long does that take and how accurate is it?

If I had a platform and was told to remove false political ads, I’d just ban all politicians and political entities from saying anything on it. That would be the only fair way.

The reason the left are obsessed with Facebook and political ads is they have this false belief they can get people to their side by controlling what they see. The actual way would be to treat those who disagree with respect, but the far left would die before doing that.

The annoying thing about writing something funny for a book is can be like a year or more before anyone gets to see it. Much tighter feedback loop with tweets.

Was typing on my phone the message “Going to be 10 minutes” and autocomplete suggested “early” as the next word. I thought these things learn from you.

Wow. Can you believe how close we were in 2016 to electing an unhinged nut job?

I still have absolutely no idea what Seb Gorka is and why I’ve heard of him.

I wonder what’s happening right now.
opens Twitter app
scrolls through “In Case You Missed It” tweets from 12 hours ago that I didn’t miss
scrolls through 5 promoted tweets
goes to Google News

What exactly are “streetlight people”? Some sort of mutant, half-man, half-streetlight? And why should I “don’t stop believin’” in them? Because they sound fairly ridiculous.

DAFFY DUCK Backs MARTIN SCORSESE, Calls MARVEL Movies “Despicable”

But who watches the Watchmen? Not me, since I don’t have HBO.

“From the man who ruined Star Wars… Knives Out.”

We always hear about “anti-heroes,” but pretty much every superhero has done something wrong. Spider-Man got his uncle killed, Batman is obsessed to the point of it being unhealthy, and Iron Man is an alcoholic.
The only superhero who has never done anything wrong is Rorschach.

Are people just joking around calling other people “Russian assets” or have people actually gone psycho-crazy?

What makes me different is I think really hard about each political issue before coming up with an opinion. That way, I come up with the right opinion. It would be nice everyone else did that.

“Watch as JJ Abrams tries to salvage the few plot threads Rian Johnson didn’t completely curb stomp to death.”

No one needs a 30 round magazine. If they were outlawed, I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t protest. I’d just get a 29 round or 31 round magazine and think nothing of it. Because I don’t need 30 rounds.

I saw in that clip of the Joker dancing on the stairs that he’s smoking a cigarette! Is that guy crazy?

Oh no! Someone just stabbed me while saying, “I just saw the Joker movie, so I think this is okay.”

I find Trump’s use of the term “lynching” so dumb and the freak out about it so disingenuous and I just want to impeach everybody from everything.

My other three kids adore their baby brother Winchester to the point it’s pretty annoying when you try to hold him. I think only our oldest understands about Down syndrome, which just means she’s extra encouraging.

Winchester loves his mommy!
And he’s aware he has a father 🙁
Well, I can keep him entertained for a few minutes, and then he’s like, “Where’s the other one?”

The third season of Halt & Catch Fire was interesting. And for some reason, it was just weird to see Matthew Lillard playing a middle-aged executive.
Those last two episodes of the season were kind of odd. Each felt like it’s own combination of season finale/season premiere.

How long have neo-Nazis been around? Not really “neo” anymore, are they?

If it was a popular vote contest in 2016, I wonder who would have won?
We’ll never know!

I have to hand it to the NBA and Blizzard—they’ve united the right and the left. That’s pretty rare these days.

JARED LETO JOKER: “Wait till they get a load of me.”
AUDIENCE: “We got a load of you, and it was underwhelming. We’re moving on to the next Joker.”
JARED LETO JOKER: “Aw.”

APPLE: “What do you want? Freedom? Or how about instead… a fourth camera on your iPhone?”

Marriage is a religious ceremony. That it’s between one man and one woman is religious view. That it could be with a different number or different genders are other religious views. The government would be taking a religious stance to treat one view as superior to the others.

Why would Greta Thunberg deserve a Nobel Peace Prize? All she did was cause people who already believed one thing to briefly become even more irritating about it.
Still, that’s technically more than what Obama did when he won his.

“The Force Awakens sure set up some intriguing plot points.”
Rian Johnson takes those plot points and stomps them to pieces
“Oh. At least there will be more Admiral Ackbar, right?”
“I’m killing him off screen.”
“Why do you hate Star Wars?”
“I LOVE IT MORE THAN YOU DO!”

When I was in college, Norm MacDonald came to my campus. I bought a ticket to his show, but I was studying so hard I forgot to go. I mean, I have a great career now, but I could have seen Norm MacDonald.

How come whenever a white male is in a movie, he has to be the Joker? I’d like my sons to be able to see some positive portrayals of white males in the media.

I guess a difference between The Empire Strikes Back and The Last Jedi is that no one ever felt the need to memorize a number of apologetics to explain why The Empire Strikes Back is in fact a good movie and not a terrible one.

El Camino was really just like an extended episode of Breaking Bad, but since it’s a really good episode of one of the best TV series ever, that’s not really a complaint.
Also, it really reinforces that Aaron Paul needs a great new role. He is excellent.

I just don’t get caring about billionaires. I wrote about this absurdity in “The Demon Capitalism.” Compared to most of human history, I live in absurd luxury, but I’m supposed to be all upset because someone else has a lot more than my vast wealth?

I noticed my 6yo son was looking cooler. Ends up he got a scrape under his lower lip and it scabbed up and now looks like he has a soul patch.

My son noticed my Babylon Bee hoodie and asked “Is it called the Bible-on Bee because Satan is in it?” I didn’t know what to say to that.

I saw that video and it was pretty scary. If I were the logo for the Vox website, I’d be really afraid of the president shooting me in the head in a church.
It’s another stupid, Trump-worshipping video. You can completely freak out about it, though, but it would just give people more reason to not take you seriously… if anyone is left taking you seriously.
He didn’t shoot The Babylon Bee in the head, did he?
In summary: Everyone chillax like me, the most reasonable person on the internet.

I thought that scene from the Kingsmen was kind of disturbing when I saw it in the movie, but I think the edited version is as likely to inspire violence against journalists as the original inspired violence against Westboro Baptist or other churches.
For the most part, I don’t think we’re very good at figuring out what can inspire crazy people to be violent.

I already knew that out of the gate Disney+ would have tons of A+ content, but it’s great they’ve revealed it will also have a ton of forgettable garbage.

Owning a cat is a bit like having a ghost in your house. It’s this entity you just see every so often and often you’ll just hear some big clatter somewhere in the middle of the night.

Who exactly is the audience for GQ?

My 6yo son gets really hyper any time he has a double espresso.
I keep asking the Starbucks to stop giving him those — or at least charge him for them — but they keep saying “no” and that they “hate me.”
What do I say to that? “Don’t hate me.”? I can’t make a good argument for that.

I guess I’m not caring and compassionate enough to keep getting angry at a chicken sandwich.

If you don’t monitor what’s influencing your kids online, they could end up a part of some fascist organization like the neo-Nazis or the NBA.

I never quite cared for Jack in Supernatural—didn’t hate him, just was meh—but demon Jack demonstrates the problem was how the character was written and not the actor because I like demon Jack.

A really rich guy saying he can’t speak out against brutal oppression because he might lose money probably ain’t a great look.

They’re all terrible idiots and their objective is to trick people into thinking they’re not terrible idiots. And a depressing amount of people still fall for it.

Taxes are the least way the rich contribute to society. Actually, it’s the least way most people contribute.
Except politicians. I want a wealth tax on politicians. I’m very suspicious of all the wealth they’ve accumulated.