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Just out of frame: interns on beach blankets with lunch.
Archive of posts filed under the One-Shots category.
You Keep Using That Term “Border Force.” I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.
More than 250 illegal migrants cross English Channel as smugglers exploit hottest day of year so far
GB News | 3/18/2026 | Mark White, Jack WaltersMore than 260 small boat migrants entered Britain today at the start of several days of good weather in the English Channel.
At least 56 migrants arrived in the Dover harbour on a Border Force vessel just after 10am, GB News can reveal.
Three other migrant boats made the illegal crossing in the hours that followed.
Just after 3pm, the Border Force vessel Typhoon unloaded another 82 at the migrant processing centre in Dover, taking the total for the day to 261.
It takes the total number of illegal arrivals so far this year to 3,718.
Several more days of good weather in the Channel this week are expected to see hundreds more small boat migrants attempt to reach Britain.
The Border Force facility at Dover harbour has now reopened after being closed for upgrade work for the past two months.
Whatever happened to the “One In, One Out” policy?
Not sure that I trust any graph that doesn’t label its X-axis. And wasn’t Liz Truss gone like dandelion pollen in like 60 seconds?
Also, if the numbers are cumulative, is a PM responsible for the numbers let in by their predecessors? They are responsible for the rise, yes; but this graph creates a visual impression that they have done more damage than is fair. They should all start at a zero baseline from their first day in office.
Oh, NO! Part 2
Mind bleach, stat!
Single Whoopi Goldberg reveals she goes bar-hopping to fulfill her sexual needs
NY Post | 3/18/26 | Audrey RockGoldberg quipped, “I am single,” adding, “Yeah, I bar hop, I go hang! And I do hit and runs when I need it.”
.
Latest workday for interns:
Phew
Oh, No!
MS NOW cuts an hour from ‘Morning Joe’ in drastic overhaul
New York Post | March 18, 2026 | Taylor Herzlich
This will give Mika much more time to FaceTime with me. Or OnlyFan. I forget which.
Here she is wearing her Star Trek red shirt for the newly-branded program, Late-Morning Joe:
She said it was hard to swallow.
How Do They Know It Wasn’t a Tribute to Tarantino?
Definitely not a headline you see every day:
Trans woman dressed up like Blues Brothers allegedly murdered millionaire developer in LA
NY Post | 3/17/26 | Titus WuA transgender woman dressed up like a Blues Brother allegedly murdered a millionaire developer in his Los Angeles home before having an hours-long standoff with a SWAT team, authorities said.
Eleanor Beaulieu, 39, was charged Sunday in the killing of Demetrius Doukoullos and is being housed in Los Angeles County’s Men’s Central Jail, according to inmate records.
Neighbors reported a foul odor coming from the Hermosa Beach home, along with sightings of a suspicious person…
Cops responded to check on Doukoullos around 12:30 p.m. Saturday after his realtor hadn’t heard from him for about a week, police said.
I had no idea you were supposed to check in with your realtor more frequently than once a week.
“Eleanor, come out with your hands up. This has been going on long enough,” the officer yelled repeatedly, the Daily Mail reported.
About sixty years too long.
Photos show Beaulieu surrendering to police after hours of negotiations, wearing a peculiar outfit that included a fedora, suit, sunglasses, and black tie.
Police cautiously approached him, cuffed him and walked him south to one of the dozens of police vehicles.
The reporter jotted down the direction after a glance at his compass? Impressive.
To be honest, the whole incident went south.
Science Nook 2: By Jove, I Think I’ve Got One!
What happens to the humidity in a closed room, if you allow a bucket of water to evaporate?
And what happens to the bucket under a dehumidifier if you never empty it?
Eureka!
For a diagram of my perpetual motion machine, please send cash to me @ IMAO.
(The further amounts required will be revealed after receipt of each installment.)
Science Nook: Terms as Foreign to Me as Senegalese
Scientists Find Clue to High-Temperature Superconductivity in Quantum Materials
Gadgets360 | January 20, 2026Scientists have recently discovered the underlying hidden magnetic order in the pseudogap phase of a quantum material. The peculiar phase exists immediately above the superconducting transition. The research team employed an ultracold-atom simulator. They were able to detect a hidden antiferromagnetic order even when the material lacked electrons.
This is referred to as doping.
Oh. Which I thought was quite different.
These discoveries are reminiscent of strange occurrences found in ‘spin ice’ magnets. The basic structural units of spin ice crystals are frustrated tetrahedrons of magnetic atoms that do not form a traditional order.
My plan for a government grant: spin some ice made of ultracold atoms into a pseudogap. That should frustrate the hell out of tetrahedrons who were expecting a real gap.
Welcome to IMAO! Now 312.8% Greener!
Oppo Eats Gas Station Burrito; Heads To Bathroom
Iguana Lasagna
I think I’ll patent that dish.
Florida restaurant faces backlash after selling pizzas with iguana meat as topping
NY Post | 02/18/2026 | Zoe HussainA Florida pizzeria is facing backlash for adding iguana pizza to their menu while a cold snap in the Sunshine State stunned the invasive reptiles, causing them to fall from trees.
My take-out restaurant — “The Slop John B.” — will run commercials with a catchy jingle:
“Iguana go home
(You know) Iguana go home;
Well, they fell so broke up
Iguana go home!”
Have it Uruguay.
Ex-FedEx?
Great Overnight Replacement: The Federal Express Decline and Fall of Collierville, TN
Revolver | October 27, 2025 | Karl HollywoodConclusion
The story of FedEx’s decline and Collierville’s transformation is a microcosm of a quiet crisis that has been unfolding across the United States for decades, though it has accelerated greatly in the past five years. What began with a change in leadership from founder Fred Smith to CEO Raj Subramaniam has culminated in a vote of no confidence from its pilots, an exodus of loyal customers, and a community in the heart of Tennessee that is now unrecognizable to its lifelong residents.
In addition to which, I think I’ll add “Karl Hollywood” to my list of Witness Protection names.
Commies Blowing Up Trees
Now I can’t get this image out of my head.
No water or electricity, and children begging in streets filled with rubbish – but this is why I won’t leave Cuba
The Guardian | 13 Feb 2026 | Ruaridh NicollFelix Valdés García was nine years old when the revolutionaries came to blow up his trees. It was the verge of the 1970s and his father, Felin, was losing the family farm to Cuba’s 10-year-old communist regime. …
For decades the family had nurtured their 800 hectares of rich loam alongside the meandering Sagua River. Eight couples, all related, worked the fields, while Felix and his sister had fruitful adventures among the royal palms, avocado, mango and magnificent ceiba.
Magnificent ceiba meets magnificent C4.
“The sappers arrived,” Felix writes in his family memoir. “A gang of agile men who opened holes in the roots and placed charges of dynamite. There was a terrible roar and the trees flew into the sky, defying gravity, then fell shuddering with broken branches.”
Poetic, in a way.
“Fir in the hole!”
Iron Age Icon Nancy Pelosi Hopes To Usher In Bronze Age With Gavin Newsom
Here’s the article that inspired this:
Nancy Pelosi Aiming to Push Gavin Newsom for 2028
Breitbart | 15 Feb 2026 | Paul BoisFormer House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D) reportedly wants to push California Gov. Gavin Newsom as the 2028 Democratic nominee for president.
Surely Your Mind Instantly Went There
AOC Fails Basic Geography Lesson
Daily Caller | 02/16/2026 | Nicole SilverioDemocratic New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez incorrectly stated on Sunday that Venezuela is “below the equator” while she criticized President Donald Trump’s administration for capturing former Venezuelan dictator Nicolas Maduro.
Ocasio-Cortez argued at Technical University of Berlin’s TEDx event that the administration could not engage in a so-called “act of war” simply because Venezuela is south of the Equator, though Venezuela is located north of the equator.
“Venezuela’s below the equator” —
AOC tripped and fell, though fell later;
Her reaction, I felt,
Was below the belt
When she claimed that I wanted to date her.
Ocasio-Cortez received widespread backlash from conservatives online and reportedly canceled her scheduled media appearances…
Not Sure How This Is Different From IMAO
Is the party over for Thailand’s playboy king? He made his poodle an air force chief, spent Covid in a hotel with 20 ‘sex soldiers’ and threw a ‘disloyal’ mistress in jail
daily mail | 2/15/26Thailand’s playboy king, Maha Vajiralongkorn … was involved in a string of scandals, including making his poodle the chief of his air force, spending the Covid-19 lockdown with a harem of ‘sex soldiers’ in a German hotel, and throwing his mistress into prison for upsetting him and his wife.