Apparently Glenn (not Reynolds) has been declaring war on me for a while and no one told me. We really need some formalized way for blogs to declare war on each other, as there are far too many blogs our there, and some need to be crushed to make way for others. As Emperor Misha I’s Imperial Secretary of War, I will take it upon myself to organize war between blogs. In the future, if you wish to declare war against a blog, e-mail me with the subject “WAR!!!” and I will take care of the formal announcements.
As for Glenn (not Reynolds), I don’t know why he declared war on me. Was it because I looked at him funny? Was it because a while back I ranted on about how I hate black people? Anyway, his terms are ludicrous. He expects to get link from Instapundit, have me surrender to him, then join up with me. Instead, I offer that he join up with me now to destroy the puppy blender and I will give him a permalink. I will not move on those terms, for I am Frank J., and all shall fear me.
So, in the future, if you wish to declare war on me or some other blog, e-mail the declaration to me. Let’s keep this formal.
How To Properly Blog War
Here are my tips: It helps to start with a sense of humor. Use humor as a weapon to bludgon the othere combatant into submission. Make gratuitous assertions backed up by nothing. When attacked if you are in the superior…
Thanks, Frank! It’s about time these wars were conducted in a civilized manner….
Frank, you may have misunderstood my terms. I will accept either one of those three things happening, not all three.
So, pick one:
*Surrender to GR
*GR links to the real Glenn
*We join forces
I’m happy to join forces 🙂 I extend my ashy negro hand in peace 🙂
Whew!
Well, that went surprisingly well.. I only tripped over one toasted racoon corpse and the slug infestation seems to be subsiding (must be that new Slug-Be-Gone that Pixy Misa started using…). Anyway, since he pingged me so enjoyably, AND because…
This isn’t how you wage a blog war.
From reading your blog, its obvious to me that the first salvo should have been an increase in not-linking to this Glenn fellow.
He should then have counter attacked with filthy lies, and eventually try to turn a search engine against you.
Frank should then respond with another furious round of not linking, or maybe a counter attack by a blog not directly affiliated with you.
You certainly don’t demand that they surrender, while agreeing to their terms.
We here in the audience want this to be a protracted, bloody affair with lots of sniping and hilarious personal attacks.
Is that too much to ask?
OK well I’m far too lazy to look for your email address and write you, so here’s my formal declaration of war. I, The Michigander, declare “WAR!!!” on… hmm, let’s see, ah yes Collinization. (I thought we were already at war but it wasn’t Frank J. approved so apparently it was just a police action like that thing in Vietnam or whatever.
I don’t know about all this “email Frank for formal war announcement” stuff. It sounds too “UN”-y for my tastes. The only REAL way to declare war is with a massive pre-emptive strike against your enemies. And sending warning of your pending pre-emptive strike is something out of a French army regulation.
Since we all know Frank would NEVER do anything UN-y or French like this is obviously some sort of trick. Those missing lab monkeys must have made their move.
Through a mutual protection pact signed with John Collins I am contractually obligated to declare war on Tim 🙂
Ok…first of all…Tim the Michigander already talked me into going into a Blogwar against John Collins and then he didn’t provide air support so under no circumstances should anyone ally with that Frenchie.
Susie on the other hand…she is my arch-nemisis. She will lose. Blogwar ’03 will be a total blow out!
So You Wanna Declare War?
The Imperial Secretary of War has decided, in His Infinite Wisdom, that all of this unorganized blog-warring that’s going on…
Glenn,
This confusion could have been avoided if we had a formal way to declare war. I’ll give my answer to your offer in the next war update.
Imperial Secretary, the School of Law of the Crusader War Collge, recently appointed the Imperial War Collge by our Beloved Emperor, wishes to voice an opinion as to the extent of your mandate, and register some suggestions for the conventions of war.
May it prosper the Empire that protects us.
Bloody Tuesday. Will Mars forgive me?
I have some very serious news. The gods themselves may be at war. For the past week, Mars has been knocking on my door. His planet has come the closest it has been to Earth for 60,000 years. And what…
I just heard that DVDBarn.com is opening up 30 more warehouses nationwide on Monday the 20th of Sept. Looks like they got some bigtime funding and are going head-to-head with Netflix. They also sent me an email with a promotion code that is supposed to give me a 3 out at a time plan for only $12.95 per month and apparently it is not just a promotional deal. They say if I signup I’ll get grandfathered at that rate.
The code for that plan is dvd-4me if anybody wants it
Ken