Chomps swallowing Bush’s Scotty dog in a recent IMW seems to have angered the Scotties of a reader named Amelia.
“I am not amused.”
They’ve organized in gangs.
“Death to Frank J.!”
And are joining militias.
“I’ll cut your throat while you sleep!”
They’ve even turned their kin against me.
“Four legs good; two legs bad!”
And, unbeknownst to me, there are mutant albino Scotties too!
“I’m fluffy!”
I guess I should clarify my position on the Scotty dog before there is violence. While I’m a big dog guy – I like German Shepherds and such – and generally disdain small, yiping dogs (I think it’s an insult to canines to call the Chihuahua a dog; it should be classified as a cleaner form of a rat), I like the Scotty dog. In fact, every time I played Monopoly, my game piece would be the Scotty dog… unless it was lost.
Also, I remind you that Barney once killed Chomps. Chomps did get revenge in the next IMW (“nationally-challenged”; I’m such a comic genius), but, later on, Barney was even mistaken for the world’s angriest dog.
Anyway, I’ll end with these words from Amelia about the noble Scotty dog:
Scotties were bred to hunt badgers, wolverines, etc. and are NOT little fluffballs. They may be relatively small compared with the huge breeds but there is nothing small about their spirit.
I just know I wouldn’t want to meet this guy in a dark alley.
“Belittle me again, and your soul is mine!”
First…Again!
I say wage war on the Scotty dogs!
I mean really, what have they done for me lately?
Nothing, that’s right, nothing.
WAR!!!
They ain’t got nuthin’ on Chomps anyway.
They’re cute. Scotty’s are spunky little dogs.
Oh, Joshie!
Us little folk will Kick yo’ ass! Fear our little selves & shit! For we will put a mighty Whup’ass on yo’selves! M’kay?
Hey, even my husband puts it that his family reunions are like a smurf convention, but we be right-winged & mighty & holding the sacred can of whup-yo-ass! Us little people are mean- we know every trick in the book- and you won’t see us ’till we already delivered the smack-down on yo ass! M-hmm! Mwha ha ha ha ah!
Me= 5’2
Mark= 5’5
the boys 5’9 5’10
rest of the Boles’s/Horta’s/Valensuela’s 5’2-9 (on a good day, in lifts/platform shoes[whatever])
but we will put a hurtin’ on yo commie muckadood’le arse! Grr! (Hey, Josh, you doknow I just luv(heart)ya right?
And leave the scotty’s alone, they a’ight! (is that how you spell it?) Well I would get one if one needed a home. okay?
Cats >> dogs.
Chomps excepted (duh).
Okay, Francesco Poli Bro?, the only thing I remember about that >> sign is the greater gator thingy… Does that mean dogs eat cats? ‘Cause I have knows some whup butt cats that have known no master of Doggy-think-I’m-all-doggy-that-whatever… That got their canine hind-quarters handed to them by feline arse!!(Yay Bob-ford!wouldpostpictureifihadit!Kickpinkytoe!Kitty!)
Okay, Frank, You do an evil disservice of cats if you do not recognize the fact that they destroy all evil squirells that wish to do the Frank J man wrong okay?
could you maybe get Mike Myers to do the voices and have THEM do your voice greeting? THAT WOULD ROCK!
I have 2 miniature schnauzers, and they’re great dogs. Really smart, completely loyal, don’t shed, and provide non-stop comedic entertainment. However, they are both girls, so they can be primadonnas at times.
Yay for schnauzers and terriers!
Gosh, if you look at him ‘just right’ he looks a bit like Osama… You’re sure about that ban on assault weapons, right?
YOOOOOU! SHALLL! NOT! PAAAAAASSSS!!! (BLAM!)
/last one sorta looks like Gandalf
//got nothing
Aren’t scotty dogs supposed to have Scottish accents? They’d seem a little more fearsome if you thought they’d go braveheart on your ass.
I guess those Scotty dogs forgot that Frank is against the evil puppy blender and his evil puppy blending ways.
Excellent captions!