Obama has been a huge sissy lately with his dithering on foreign affairs and his constant whining about FOX News, but it could be worse. I’ve come up with ten ways that Obama could actually be an even bigger sissy:
TOP TEN WAYS OBAMA COULD BE EVEN SISSIER
10. Starts riding a Segway everywhere.
9. Becomes distressed by the mean things said on FOX News but also on FOX by the character House.
8. Appoints a pickle-jar-opening czar.
7. All his meetings with foreign leaders become nothing but crying and hugging.
6. Newest public address is his shortest ever: Just the words, “Stop being so mean to me!” before running away crying.
5. He constantly becomes publicly bossed around by his puppy Bo.
4. Always has to excuse himself for a new pair of pants when someone mentions Cheney’s disagreements with him.
3. He finds out how good he looks in sequins.
2. Declares Saw VI “too scary” and thus “not a real horror movie.”
And the number one way Obama could be even sissier…
He wins a second Nobel Peace Prize.
1a.) Leaves Michelle and the kids; subsequently, elopes to Miami with Barney Frank.
James, why would he do that? He’s already openly living with another man. At least, it looks like a man/Klingon mash-up.
He wins a second Nobel Peace Prize.
you know he’s going to get one for every year he’s president, and he such a sissy already he can’t be anymore of a sissy.
Announces that he wont make a decision on Afghanistan until after the last round of voting…on American Idol.
Cry, whine, complain, and blame all his screw ups on everyone else…oh, wait. OK, how about he rides a bike wearing mom jeans and a geeky helmet…uh…all righty then, how about if he poses with a fake Star Wars…light…saber…
Bowl a 36.
Throw a first pitch that bounces twice instead of just once.
Get a poodle.
By the way, we told our young children that the goal was to bowl your age times 10. We just made that up on the spot, when a 6-yr-old was upset at “only” bowling a 73, but it’s about right for younger kids. Meaning Obama bowls like a 3-yr-old.
Direct his media staff (that’d be NBC, for those not paying attention) to create a new show called “Queer Eye for the Communist Guy”
Starts publicly referring to Ammadinnerjacket as “Sweetie” and Chavez as “Huggy Bear”
Goes on Oprah, breaks down, confesses that Pelosi scares him so bad he wets the bed with alarming regularity
Starts wearing one sequined glove & calling himself the King of Poop, um, Pop
Pee himself every time Michelle walks into the Oval Office.
Give every visiting Head of State the full DVD collection of “The Gillmore Girls.”
Demand that the IOC include male synchronized swimming in the Summer Olympics.
Fans vigorously when he gets the vapors from watching Fox
Swoons listening to Boy George
Uses pom poms during future addresses
Hires a full time, personal, soon to be overworked, panty unwadder
Burst into tears upion hearing he did not win the Heisman
I’ll admit, I’m stumped. I can’t think of a way Obama could be more of a sissy.
End each press conference with a hands-in-face cryibg jag.
Pee in his pants out of fear while watching the “Care Bears ” movie.
Crap in his pants and cringe in terror while playing the “Barbire Horse Riding” video game. (Yes, there is such a game, and it’s been voted multiple times as the lamest video gane ever.)
Gets beat playing the “Barbie Horse Riding ” game by his daughters and throws a temper tantrum. Every time.
1a.) Leaves Michelle and the kids; subsequently, elopes to Miami with Barney Frank.
That is one of the best lines that I’ve ever read. I’m still laughing several minutes later.
Obama probably couldn’t be more of a sissy, but he’d reveal himself more as a sissy if he stopped claiming to be a White Sox fan and admitted that he likes soccer.
Blames staffers when things don’t go so well as planned;
Refuses to defend little old ladies, such as his grandmother;
Pretends to be a Greek god, but builds his temple out of styrofoam;
Designs his own Presidential Seal, using softer tones for the reds and the blues;
Hides ‘the bird’ out of sight of the person he is flipping off, and grins sheepishly when caught doing so;
No one is startled when the word “sheepishly” is applied to him;
Forgets to salute the Flag;
I did NOT need that visual!
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ss396 says:
October 23rd, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I did NOT need that visual!
I had anticipated that. That’s why I left out the short skirt, and the cheer ending “splits”. No problem/pain for Barry – Michelle has the nads in the family.
He gets Fisher Price to supply “My First Teleprompter” as new official White House equiptment.
Oops – “equipment”
As an expression of “smart diplomacy” dons a skirt and does the Basic Instinct leg cross to Putin.
He could let the 3am phone call go to the answering machine.
Attend a football game with your wife. Repeatedly ask her to explain the game. “Why are they kicking the ball like that?” “Why is he putting his hands in the fat man’s butt?” “Why are they hitting each other so hard?” “Why can’t they both win? That’s not fair!”
Waaah and waaaaaah!!!
He could sign up for an account at Little Green Footballs.
He also suspects Cal Lightman texted Joe Wilson during his speech.
When he was still unable to oppose his chief of staffs orders when Rahm was wearing a tutu, Barry reached Ultimate Sissyhood and started getting punked by John Edwards.
Two words:
Arugula Czar.
Goes for a swim in the whitehouse pool in a speedo.
Swings his plastic toy lightsaber on the White House lawn… damn, I’m late with that one.
To fight the Swine Flu he makes everyone carry giant white handkerchiefs on sticks around. This would lead to appointing a Tissue Czar ‘cuz of constant tingly feelings. (Olberman and Matthews would have worlds greatest slap fight to get that job)
Buy another Portugese Water Spaniel.
Suggest a makeover for Anita Dunn.
Wear a bike helmet and mom jeans everytime he speaks publicly.
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Barry could invite Jaleel White to the Oval Office and greet him dressed as, and acting like, Urkel–complete with oversized glasses, squeals and snorts.
“Single payer…did I say THAAAAAAAAT?!?”
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