Frank Reads the News

Posted on June 24, 2011 12:03 pm

* Concealed carry is about to become law in Wisconsin. That will make it the 41st right-to-carry state and leave only Illinois without any concealed carry rights. Do the people against right-to-carry even know what they’re scared of anymore? What exactly has happened in the 40 states with right-to-carry that they want to avoid? Basically, the anti-gun crowd’s entire argument has been reduced to “Grr! Thundersticks scary!”

* Not surprising that Illinois is the last total holdout on concealed carry. When you have whole cities run by criminals, the last thing you want is honest citizens being armed.

* It came out that Delta Airlines is teaming up with a Saudi airline, and as part of that may be making sure their flights to Saudi Arabia are Jew-free. Those will be some neat new ads. “Tired of poor customer service, paying for your luggage, lack of leg room, and always being surrounded by Jews? Try Delta Airlines.”

UPDATE: Got an e-mail sent on behalf of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia saying they do not discriminate on religion. So, if you’re a Jew planning on visiting, I guess you’re okay. Oh, and if you’re going, could you deliver some Bibles for me while you’re there?

* Republicans have walked out of debt talks with Joe Biden over the issue of tax hikes. Don’t know if it will help. When you advise someone, “Hey, maybe you want to take your foot off the gas pedal,” you’re assuming his goal isn’t to drive off the cliff in front of him.

* Osama bin Laden’s cellphone revealed he may have been in contact with a Pakistani spy agency. What? Pakistan isn’t our friend? What did we ever do to them? Not make sure that flights to their country were Jew-free?

* I’m still on some mailing list where five times a day I get updates on the new super-important evidence the birthers have discovered. In the last one they reported “Know who else was ineligible to be the head of state? HITLER!”

I always thought the eligibility requirements for president were kind of patronizing. What’s the idea? If they didn’t have them, people would elect a five-year-old from China to be president, but otherwise they’ll elect a perfectly good leader? But apparently if you elect someone who violates eligibility in even the most obscure way HE WILL MURDER MILLIONS! If only we elected someone that even crazy people had no questions about his background, such as Dennis Kucinich.

* Know what would be funny? The day after Obama leaves office, we then turn to the birthers and act super-interested in all their theories.

* Time magazine’s current cover is a picture of the Constitution with the phrase “Does it matter?” I’m going out on a limb and saying it matters a lot more than news weeklies.

* The article inside the Time magazine is a special form of aggressively stupid. It includes the sentence “If the Constitution was intended to limit the federal government, it sure doesn’t say so.” How do you even respond to this? It’s like someone arguing “Two plus two equals Thursday.” It’s pointless to argue; just steer clear. Really, though, with magazines failing left and right, this is what Time is going to pay someone to write? At this rate, they’ll be lucky get the dollar asking price Newsweek had.

* Ryan Dunn of Jackass fame was drunk and driving over 130 mph when he died. I don’t know what else to say except, “Yeah, that’ll do it.”

* Westboro is planning to protest Dunn’s funeral. Maybe that could be a new campaign: “Drink and drive, get your funeral protested by Westboro weirdos.” May make some people think twice.

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29 Responses to “Frank Reads the News”

  1. MarkoMancuso says:

    There is nothing patronizing about anything that seems to suggest American voters aren’t that bright.

  2. coldguy says:

    Everybody knows two plus two equals RON PAUL!!1!11!

  3. storm1911 says:

    I suggest Deata airlines will gety a Brist business.

    Everyone over at Time knows the Constitution is not the law of the land. It’s Das Kapital you sillies.

    Concealed carry means never having to have to say “Here’s my wife and wallet and car keys, mister mugger.”

    So 41 states respect freedom and individual autonomy, and 9 (or is that 16 according to Obama) don’t. I know where my vacation dollars are going.

  4. storm1911 says:

    Delta airlines……………

  5. GuffyConservative says:

    This made me laugh:

    special form of aggressively stupid

    A good response to such stupid is to simply quote the source. Then you at least expose the stupid to others: (Art. 9 & 10 of the BoR):

    The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

    The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

    Someone I knew was debating the Bible with someone else. He opened the Bible to a verse, slid it across the table and pointed at the verse without saying a word. The response? “Well, that’s just your opinion!!!11!!!1”

  6. Jimmy says:

    Nonetheless, if you walked down main street in those 41 states with your side arm around your waist in plain view, people would freak out and call the police AND Homeland Security. States (i.e. public school districts) really ought to require firearms training in high school.

    I’ll be right back… (I have a need to fire a 12 gauge round now. Where I live, I can just go outside and do that during normal daylight hours.)

  7. DamnCat says:

    You know, last time I booked a flight on Delta and asked for a kosher meal I thought the lady gave me a funny look. I thought it was because I’m a cat – now I’m not so sure.

  8. hwuu says:

    So how do you carry your firearm in Illinois if you can’t conceal it?

  9. ussjimmycarter says:

    Wisconsin Conceal and Carry? Are you nuts? These people all live in trailer houses and each have not more than 3 teeth. They drink on average 2 cases of beer a day and have state IQ average that you can count on two hands! I’m a member of the NRA, but this one might be going too far! Why not just go to a school full of mental handicapped people and hand out pistols…same thing! Wisconsin = Deliverance with Snow!!!

    Sorry, just got back from the funeral of our head Pastor Paul Youngdal from Mt Olivet Lutheran Church in Minneapolis. A spiritual giant who has led the largest Lutheran Church in America for 37 years and I’m in a bad mood!

  10. Son of Bob says:

    “Not surprising that Illinois is the last total hold out on conceal carry.”

    Yes, it makes sense. Is there actually anything in Illinois worth fighting to protect anyway?

  11. Corona says:

    “…always being surrounded by Jews? Try Delta Airlines.”
    Heh heh. Yeah that’d go over big. Delta smelt. And whoever smelt it dealt it.

  12. Son of Bob says:

    “Ryan Dunn of Jackass fame was drunk and driving over 130 mph when he died. I don’t know what else to say except, “Yeah, that’ll do it.””

    Well, there’s one more thing I could say: If he’d been alone I could muster up some remorse, but doing that with another person in the car who’s life he claimed with his stupidity just makes me not care that he’s dead.

  13. Crabby Old Bat says:

    @Jimmy: Firearms training in high school would be so awesome. Alas, I live in California, so it will never, ever happen.

    My 13 year old daughter is going to be starting NRA revolver lessons soon, for home protection purposes. She is almost as excited about this as she is about her new iPod “Touch.”

  14. arik says:

    Republicans have walked out of debt talks with Joe Biden…

    From what little information I can gather, the Republicans were all, like, “Hey, we don’t want to increase the debt limit, so you guys are going to have to come up with some concessions. And we don’t want to raise taxes either.”

    And the democRats were all, like, “Hey we aren’t going to raise the debt limit unless you let use raise taxes, too.”

    And the Republicans were all, like, “Problem solved. See ya!”

  15. Jimmy says:

    Yay! It’s back. For a few minutes there, I thought Frank got taken down!

  16. Burmashave says:

    Time magazine’s current cover is a picture of the Constitution with the phrase “Does it matter?” I’m going out on a limb and say it matters a lot more than news weeklies.

    Here’s the thing. If your name is Dicky Stengel, and you get encouraged through your educational years — as so many children do — without the slightest instruction about how the US Constitution is not only relevant in the US today, but also relevant in world history, then you grow up ignorant and get a job writing for Time. Coincidentally, although educated in the US, Dick got the same amount of US history instruction as given to children in Indonesia.

  17. zzyzx says:

    The constitution certainly matters allot more then Time Magazine and I wonder why any self respecting Jew would want to travel to an Islamic s**t hole like Saudi Arabia anyway.

  18. Terry_Jim says:

    Jackasses to protest ‘Jackass’ ‘star’s’ funeral.

    If it keeps them from harassing the family of a soldier,
    I’m OK with that.

  19. Guuggysdad says:

    Can’t say I even heard of Ryan Dunn until this week. That being said, I HAVE heard of the WBC @55h0l35… I live near the crash and I’m thinking Bam should give a shout-out to the local Pagans chapter and see how ‘righteous’ the WBC folks get with 350 lbs of tattooed, denim-vested, multi-pierced Pagan bro’ all up in their grill at the funeral. Man, I would love to see that showdown.

  20. Eric Praline says:

    What exactly are the Westboro dip-excrements protesting? Will their signs read “God hates 4th tier celebrities?”

  21. Guuggysdad says:

    @Eric Praline:

    Exactly. I don’t know if the WBC-tards have ever done their ‘show’ in the Philly area before, but methinks they are in for an eye-opening experience (x-ref Philly Sports Fans, I’m all a-twitter about it in a Chris Matthews kinda way!

  22. 4of7 says:

    Unanswered questions about Ryan Dunn:
    Was anyone filming in the car?
    Were his last words along the lines of “Hey! Watch this!”?
    Wouldn’t it have been better to be stuck in a ditch, sipping a Slurpee, where they would have been safe, instead of going in the wrong direction at insane speed?
    (Whatever he intended, off the road and into a tree is Always the wrong direction.)

  23. Ivan Ivanovich says:

    “Two plus two equals Thursday.”

    My Dad told me a better one! “Do you walk to work or carry your lunch?”

  24. Jimmy says:

    Good for you, Crabby. But this just proves you’re not “Old” !!

    (I have sisters who are afraid of guns. Show me a woman who handles her guns, and I’ll show you a Conservative! Ok, maybe a Republican? Ok, at least someone who knows what they’re doing.)

  25. viking says:

    “If the Constitution was intended to limit the federal government, it sure doesn’t say so.”

    Unfortunately, alot of people will read that, assume it’s true because they “read it somewhere”, and will do everything in their power to force me to be a communist.

  26. Terry_Jim says:

    “If the Constitution was intended to limit the federal government, it sure doesn’t say so.”

    Read the freaking Preamble, Time moron.
    A gigantic, powergrabbing, micromanaging federal Government secures the
    complete opposite of liberty, to ourselves and our posterity.

  27. Rock Throwing Peasant says:

    Saw this:

    Link to graph

    I’m a little unnerved. Rasslin and monster cars are for Democrats?

    The PGA=White, racist Republicans….that’s fine, but I thought Republicans also locked up the redneck events.

    Democrats also locked away the WNBA. Now what am I supposed to watch?

  28. Rock Throwing Peasant says:

    Awww, link didn’t work. Gotta brush up on my html:

  29. greg zywicki says:

    You know which president was born a foreign citizen? WASHINGTON!! So Obama is at least the second president to use charm and personality to distract people from his constitutional ineligibility.

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